Before i was born, I almost died. I breathed to soon when I was still inside my mom and got this liquid substances in my mouth and i had to be put in an equabter for a week or so.
Growing up, I always pictured what my life would be life. Would I be on the football team? Will I be in the ppopular crowed? Will I be the one always in a cherrful mood?
Well none to all of those. When i started school, of course I was happy and willing to make friends that would last a life time. Once I got to about the 3rd grade, my life started to change. I was getting teased by my class mates and such. Ever since my 4th grade I became a loner.
I stayed away from my class and I didn't want to be judge. But it seemed like no matter what I was always being judge no matter what i did.
I think my whole depression started when my sister truned 17 or 18. When she turned 18 she played the "I'm 18 I can do whatever the fuck i want"
Of course my mom and dad were pissed that she was acting this way. She would constinly start fights wiht my parents to the point were I would just break down.
When I was 13 I became depressed. I thought no one cared about me, I was being teased for my learning disibility, i was tormenetd in school, my family was fighting non-stop, and other crap. I started to cut when it was summer and when I was out of school. I kept it up for 3 years and I didn't tell anyone, only my friends online...
When ever my parents and sister fought to point were i couldn't stand it, I would go into the bathroom, lock the door, and cried while I cut myself. When I didn't see blood come out I will cut untill I would see blood come out. Which was about 10-20 cuts later.
When I hit high school it became worse. Till I meet a friend who I didn't know that she would become my best friend to this day. I told what I was going throug and that I was cutting myself. She was shocked but she didn't tell anyone. The reason why was because she thought it wasn't that bad and i could handle it on my own. Which I really couldn't. It was around December then I was thinking this is getting worse. Untill I made a call that made have saved my life.
I am now cutting on my leg. I called a teen hot-line and I told them what I was doing and going though. I told them I was afraid to tell my mom. I told them I sometimes write a letter to her. They said ok write a letter then call us back. They said if you don't call us back, we will call you. at this point I said ok there's no turning back.
I didn't write the letter. I told my mom face to face. Which was the hardest thing in my life. I told her why I dong it and how long. She asked to see the scars and I showed her. She wasn't upset just disappointed. She was glad I told her. But she had to tell my dad. they both went easy on me to. I didn't go to therapy, conserloring, family doctor, or anything. I had to help myself get over this.
Right now I graduated from high school, I was in my high schools marching band, and I have the greatest friends I could ask for. But cutting for me was one of the things that helped me reless stress when I was on the edge.I didn't know i was hurting myself. I didn't even know there was a such thing called self-harm till i was getting deeper into cutting. It is one of the things I DO NOT EVER want to go through again. Like I said it got so bad that I started to cut my leg. I felt bad that I abused my body in that way. and I am 2 years amd 6 months self-harm free.
Sadly, even though I didn't cut deep, I still have scars that may never fade away. Just because you don't cut deep dosen't mean you won't scar. I cut enough that I bleed and it took about a year for my scars to fully heal. When ever I look at the 3 or 4 scars I still have from cutting, it makes me think. Why did I start to cut? Don't make the choice that I made and start to cut. Once you cut it is hard to stop.
Self-harm is possible to beat. don't be afraid to ask for help.
Remember (even guys)
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
some where in ohio
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On July 3rd 2007 kiffin1722 Said :
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yea i liked ur poem and i like ur about me section
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On June 24th 2007 kiffin1722 Said :
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thx well im gonna try to get more up
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On June 23rd 2007 kiffin1722 Said :
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hey do u think that my poems r good?
and be honest.
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On June 22nd 2007 kiffin1722 Said :
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heres another battle plz vote for me http://battles.myyearbook.com/?battleid=1666047
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On June 21st 2007 kiffin1722 Said :
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hey plz vote for me http://battles.myyearbook.com/?battleid=1666023
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On June 21st 2007 kiffin1722 Said :
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hey if u could read some of my poems and rate and comment them and tell me what u think that would be great lol plz do it
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