my names riley alvarado, im 20 years old, wow thats crazy! Ok here I am. I was a drug addict for the past 2 years of my life. I grow up going to church, over all I would say I knew of God and Jesus but I never really had a relationship with them. Then when I was about 17 years old I was hit by depression. I blamed God for my pain and suffering I was going through. I started to cut, first because I wanted people to see that I was hurting. I continued to cut because it was pain I could control, you see I liked that I could stop the pain whenever I wanted, unlike the emotional suffering I was experiencing. The cutting ended with me needing to cut in order to feel anything at all. I soon found getting drunk and smoking 2 packs of cigs a day a much funner way to deal with my pain. Plus it was a lot more accepted among my fellow teens, rather then being "Emo". Soon after drinking came weed, then cocaine, then pills, and shroomes, then finally, meth and crack (oh by the way just cause I did drugs didn't make me not "Emo" just a "Emo" kid that did drugs.) ... If you would have told me when I was 16 that I was going to become a meth addict, I would have laughed my head off, I hated drugs and thought the people that smoked weed and drank were stupid, then just three years later and I had lost everything, due to my drug addictions! It really was a downward cycle that took everything I once know to be true, and loved away from me. It almost cost me my life more times then I would like to remember. Even more so then just killing myself mentally, physical, emotionally, and spiritually, drug use, I lost my relationships with my friends and family. I cant change my past, no matter how much I would like to. Looking at what I had become, I truly didn't feel as though anyone would or could ever love me again. I mean how could they love me, the real me, when i didn't love myself. It wasn't till Jan. of this year that my mom dragged me to Celebrate Recovery ( A Recover program like AA, but based on the Bible, and with Jesus Christ as the one and only higher power that can restore people ) ( I was still using meth ) I started the program, never thinking that it was gonna do anything, but as I answered the questions, one of my answers had the words "God still loves me". It was in that moment I accepted God. The same God that I once promised to never forgive, for bringing me into existence in a world of such a sorry state of being. Yes this same God took away the weight of all my sins, burdens, worries, troubles, torment, depression, sorrow, suffering, hate, fear and all the rest of it as well. I saw my need for God to be the center of who I am. I thank God for the chance to live today, I was dead for the past 19 years of my life. (Ephesians 2:1-51 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.) Ive learned that we as people are not truly living until we are living for him, and with him, everything else is a lie and momentary. Its been about 11 months since he restored me, and I now have to ask myself ever moment how much of myself am I willing to give to him? (Romans 12 Living Sacrifices1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is— his good, pleasing and perfect will.) I pray and hope you will do the same, because he gave all of himself for you. ( 1 Peter 2:24 24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed ). He did this in hopes that you may know what it is to truly live, not only truly live, but truly live with Him. For you and I where on His mind, when he suffered the wait of our sins. Sure some days are hard to get through, but most aren't. Looking back on my life I can see he was always there for me... he always has been and always will be (2 Corinthians 4:8 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.), so the real question is this, will you and I always be there for him? I ask now ask of you, if you are willing to look at yourself and where you stand in your relationship with Christ Jesus. Because that's why he died, in order to have a relationship with you forever. Now i have known that since I can remember. The thing that I never got until 11 months ago is that the relationship starts right now! So if anyone wants to get to know God, Jesus, or the Spirit better just let me know! Im exited to walk with all of you on this journey of life. Ok I love you bye bye