Babyd5291

  I'm The Rissa™Well it's actually Clarissa but most ppl pronounce it wrong... so call me what you will.I loooove glitter dust shit.I'm selfish/caring/explicit/stingey/hateful/hopeless/emo/punk/goth/preppy/grungey/ghetto [in the ganster and poor ppl sense]I collect those little plastic rings off the milk jugs & packages and envelopes from mail that I liked recieving... I used to collect toilet paper rolls and glue sticks.I love most animals. I have 2 kitties. I had a dog, but she was hit by a truck out front n died in my arms. I've gone through tons of hampsters and fish.Gerbils and pet birds freak me out.I don't understand why people are afraid of clowns... I don't see how their scary.I'm not afraid to die, but I'm afraid of what comes next. I'm a LeVeyan Satanist. My whole family is made up of Christians.I ♥ Red Bull & candy.I don't like the color orange very much.I haven't gone fishing in years.I put lines through my 7's and X's over my I's.Racism is funny bc in reality, there's no such thing as a different race... everybody orginated in one area, went from Asia over some ice bridge to here and then spread out from there.Dead baby jokes crack me up.My last bf turned out to be a fuckin faggot. He sucked, literally. But that's ok, cuz he was a liar, a cheater, a theif, abusive, pretty much a catastrophy of bad breeding.My first bf had/still has [3 yrs later] a tiny penis.I hate body hair and the effort of removing it.My arms are plastered in scars.I color my hair a lot and have had pretty much every color and it's never just one shade because it got so fucked up over the years.I attempted suicide when i was 10.I used to be a stoner, then it made me sick.I'm not a party girl, nor have I ever been.I enjoy playing with condoms and chewing on flavored ones and blowing bubbles w them haha.I hate public bathrooms, I hate going to the bathroom. Tiny bathrooms piss me off.Walt Disney was a mean dude, but he was still awesome.I have really good relationships with my internet friends. I don't have a lot of real close friends offline. Mostly just aquaintances.I think relationships and love are overrated.Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, cold hard cash is.I'm uber materialistic.My sister's a teen mother and a hs drop out, it happened in the not so average order though. That baby's beautiful, except her feet, and I love her.I like piercings and tattoos and I've doen pretty much all but 4 of the ones I've had in my life. I've done up n down my ears, my tongue, my eyebrow, my nose, my bellybutton... I let my ex do my ears and my tongue once, too and I had my eyebrow done pro and my earlobes when I was like 8 but I took those out a long time ago and have since redone them. Last tiem I tried to do my left eyebrow it ripped out, didn't hurt at all though.I have 3 home=made tattoos [safety pin & ink] Celery is cool but it tastes funny. I have no problem smoking while I eat.I can still pinpoint a scar from when I was a toddler amidst all the others on my arm. I've never been attacked by a dog, only cats, but I still like cats better, wtf is wrong with me?I've wanted a cellphone since I was 7 year old, I still don't have one.I like those big rubber bracelets and sex bracelets, too.I like proving people wrong and I'm always right.I believe in celebasy even though I don't practice it. I'm kind of slutty, but that's ok with me.I hate religion being shoved down my throat.I love gay/bi/straight/transexual/transgendered people.I hate being judged but I'm quick to judge others, most people are like that and just don't admit it.I find nigger jokes amusing and people who take offense to that can shove a gerbil in their ass through a tube.I always sleep with my stereo on.Sometimes I leave the light in my room on non-stop for days and it's hard to sleep without it at first. I hardly ever turn my black light off.Tin foil's great for blocking the light out of a room, I used to do that but my mom kept tearing it down when she got pissed at me so now I just have a bunch of sheets covering my bedroom windows, which she wants to opt in for blinds, I'll only do it if they completely block the light out as much as much as my sheets do. I'm mostly nocturnal.I don't like most aeropostal clothing, but their bags are cute. American Eagle's retarded for switching to Aerie, it's uber lame and not in a cool way.I don't think I've ever finished a game of monopoly.I still own a sega genesis.I trust others too easily, which is taken adantage of occasionally... and that my dearies, doesn't end well for others.I think rainbow colored hair is sexy. I don't like workout DVDs, they go to fast.I'm obsessed with Snafu-Comics and Foamy♥I love getting hugs from cute boys.I'm quite ostenacious [sp?]I like ppl playing with my hair.I hate back massages.Hairapy is my best friend.I hate the teenage angst and drama, but I love talking about it, even if I must be a part of it, without it, life would be so boring.My mom works at a retard home and always has funny stories to tell about what they did that night. It's frustrating at times though when they go crazy and scream all fucking night and she comes home all pissed off.I hate getting bitched at, especially for no reason and even moreso if I had nothing to do with the shit in the first place.Most of my friends are skinny or just a lil chunky, I'm the biggest. I don't have that big of a problem with it.I will never love my body. Most ppl don't. It causes massive damage though with relationships with others bc:•If I don't love myself, how can they•I get bitchy occasionally bc I hate what I see and take the frustration out on others.I take my anger out on others quiet a bit though haha so they're used to it. Usually it's just when I'm tired though.I flirt with pretty much everyone.I can see the beauty in nothing and not in sunsets and rainbows.I don't like most flowers.No one's ever given me flowers or presents in a romantic kinda way, well not really anyway.I can seem kinda two-faced a lot, but it's not that I am. It's because I can see things from all sides of the story and feel for them all and want to stay kinda neutral with everyone the best I can.I bang my head like every day, not in a rocker kind of way either.I'm 5'8" ro soemthing to the effect of that.I stufy Psychology.But it's not exactly what I wanna do when i grow up, shit.. I don't have a clue as to what I wanna do. Maybe travel and be a jack of all trades.I'm finally happy. I can be bored off my ass just sitting there listening to music doing my nails or something else not very entertaining and still be happy. Before I was a tragedy. Now I'm normal.. kinda haha. I'm still a macabre masterpiece nonetheless though.Not much has changed, but at the same time everything has.I go into obsession phases quite a bit.I hate getting sick.I definately miss the cartoons of the 90's and before. Sailormoon was awesome. Jem & The Holograms makes me excited. Popeye's my hero, along w Captain Planet. Alf was great. Al Bundy, too. Rainbow Brite definately rocked my socks.I still don't exactly know wtf a pog is but that's ok, I remember other stuff from back then.Upon listening to Lemon Demon thanks to The Ultimate Showdown of Destiny, I'm obsessed with Crayola and I want some Sea Monkies lol.I'm sure this stupid profile has LOL & ^_^ like a million times already.I miss:sataliteSimpler timesImaginationwhen boys had cootieshanging out in the basement or atticbefore weight became an issue && when u said BFFL u actually meant it and the falling through was otu of our control due to outside elements changing our livesbelieving it was all ok and if it wasn't it would work out sooner rather than laterskating at Eason Hall on weekendswhen u never thought of urself as not pretty enough and not meeting their standardswhen getting a furby or portable CD player was a big dealBefore ipod took over and scribbly drawings were beautifulthe only bad thing that ever happened during summer was when it endedbefore death crept inBut it was time to grow up and be responsible and to forget about those childish things.I constantly self-medicate.Baby Daddies are fuckheads.I have issues... but... I'm perfect in that fucked up sort of way♥ Sometimes I stab my wrists full of holes and wonder why I still can't feel anything. Somtimes I look in the mirror and wonder why[why]why? Sometimes I pretend I'm Barbie. Sometimes I can see my veins before the blood comes pouring out. Sometimes everything doesn't get put back together perfectly. Sometimes I like it like that. Sometimes when the bruises heal and the lipstick has worn off, I lay in bed holding a butcher knife instead of someone's hand. Sometimes [only sometimes because there's never always] I carefully pick myself apart until there's only marytr scars and doll parts left. Sometimes I wonder why you want me [deadanddrowned] so badly. Sometimes [but not ever again] I let you see reality for what it is. Sometimes I put razorblades in my mouth and pray someone will kiss me. Sometimes the cigarette burns on my skin look like diamonds. Sometimes my heart stops beating and I have to put on more mascara. Always [never sometimes because the truth hurts] & then? Always and forever didnt mean much. But it meant something when you saw past the cosmetics and the cold hard plastic. It means some[thing]time you'd think about me when the sky was perfect gun metal gray and you felt like dying. I want my face to be what you see when you're paralyzed with fear and the ceiling comes crashing down. Sometimes I pretend I'm a mannequin in Nordstorms and don't move for hours. Sometimes the Band-Aid's come unglued and no one comes near me. Sometimes I wrap my hands around my own neck and wonder why I can't strangle myself. Sometimes I rip out my hair and break my fake nails to see what it feels like. Sometimes I put on my tiara's and pretend everyone's watching. Sometimes I write that fake name on bathroom mirrors and smash them with a hammer. Sometimes my skin isn't perfect. Sometimes nothing [everything's] perfect but I cant remember when.-Jeffree Star [I think anyway haha]