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9
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Wrong Internet Love Pt. 2 &1 |
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12
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One Big Flaw |
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12
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Wrong Internet Love |
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8
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Youth |
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7
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random love |
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8
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One More Goodbye |
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7
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Time is Up |
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15
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A Dad at 15 |
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8
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Is it Love? |
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8
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In a Second |
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14
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More than Friends |
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11
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Heart Throb |
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One Big Flaw
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We pulled up to my new highschool's parking lot. I was thinking maybe this school would be different from the others. I was starting my Junior year and I was praying this would be better then ther other two years. This was going to be myh third high school. I was kicked out out of the other two. One for getting in too many fights to count. The other for trashing a classroom. the teacher failed me and I had to retake the course.
"Do you know where all of your classes are Jed?" My mom asked me
Ignored her and got out of the car. The first thing i noticed goingup to the front doors was itr was a pretty divided group of students. Goths with goths, preps, nerds the whole lot was there. I wondered where htey would want to stick me. I walked to the office and the lady walked me to the counselors office. I looked around the school on our way over there amd noticed it was twice the size of my old schools. Plaques lined the walls, lockers looked newly remodeled it was so nice. I almost felt so out of place in my knee ripped blue jeans and one of my dad's old work shirts.
"Here we are, she will give you a tour of the school" the office lady said to me who later I learned her name was Brenda Walker. I didnt thank her. She grunted at me and walked away. I opened the large wooden door with a golden platelet on it that read
Shirley Baxter 11th grade Counselor
When I closed the door I immediately became face to face with this woman who was staring at me I quickly backed up against the door. She looked like a friendly, blonde curly haired lady and when she spoke I thought she was about to bust out some opera.
"Hello, hun my name is Mrs. Baxter" She held out her hand.
"Jed Micheals" I said but did not take her hand.
"Well ok then" she closed her hand empty
"Welcome to VanBuren High School, first off how are you getting settled into things at home?"
"Fine" i answer her but honestly the truth is I cant stand this place, I miss my hometown so much Its so different coming from a small town just outside of Houston Texas to this place where it is cold and everyone has a complete different accent. Here in Boston I definetly stand out.
"Ok" she began to say but I interrupted her
"I can find my classes myself i dont need any help"
"But i insist"
"No
"Well that is too bad because I have already arranged for someone" she began to get angry
"But"
"Its too bad young man Anna will show you around"
The minute she said that a beautiful young girl with medium length red hair and stunning eyes walked through the door.
"Oh hi my name is Anna" she stuck out her hand. Quick as a fox i retrieved it. It was so soft it felt like velvet and I was so amazed by her i became tongue tied but I did manage to say my name.
"My... My name is Jed...Jed Micheals"
The Counselor looked pleased that someone could get something out of me.
" Anna will show you to all of your classes agreed"
"Agreed"
Comments
| On June 24th 2008 sweetastic18 Said : | |
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oh you most def need to make a 2nd...cant just leave me hanging lol! |
| On January 2nd 2008 surewynot Said : | |
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aw i love it! you should definitely post a part two. as for the technical problems, the first paragraph sounds a little extended. it has too much stuff you don't need. you could rephrase the first couple sentences to say 'We pulled into my new highschool's parking lot. I was praying this one would be different; it would be my third one in three years. My Junior year would be better. Or at least, i hoped it would be. I was kicked out of my first two schools; one for fighting and the other for trashing a classroom." the last sentence isn't really necessary. Then for the divided group of students: "Goths, preps, nerds, all of the cliques were there." or if you're trying to show that there was no intermingling or whatever, be consistent. "Goths with goths, preps with preps, nerds with nerds." and "I wondered where I would be." its more concise and the other way it sounds like it doesn't matter how you act b/c theres some divine power that just picks one for you. am i making sense? Then the office lady: ".... the office lady said to me, who's name I later learned was Brenda Walker." just a change in words, "I closed the door and turned, coming face to face with some woman who was just staring at me." this is really good, i barely had to correct anything! |
| On November 21st 2007 assumetheworst Said : | |
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oooo i likey yes yes yes keep me posted and yes make a part 2! i love the way you wrote it too its just awsomeness great job ^---^ |
| On November 20th 2007 alienz13 Said : | |
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keep me posted |
| On November 20th 2007 loveXafterXall Said : | |
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I'd love it if you kept me posted! |
| On November 20th 2007 yorkiedude27 Said : | |
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tell me if I should to part two |


