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I was waiting at Wawa for about an hour before I finally saw Jess.  She was amazing.  I loved everything about her.  That was why I couldn’t wait to feel myself inside her.  I know some people think that is really wrong but I just couldn’t help myself.  She was the only one I ever thought about.  I loved the way her lips felt when we kissed and the way she laughed at my jokes even though they weren’t funny.  But the only thing about her that scared me is that she never really talked about her family.  She was very secretive.  But I forgot about that every time I looked into her eyes.

When she finally shows up at Wawa I am just so excited.  I decide I can’t wait and tell her what I did right away.  So in her ear I whisper “I rented a hotel.”  She seemed just as excited as I was.  We walked to the hotel which was only a few miles down the road.  We walk and we both are pretty silent. 

When we finally get to the hotel I am too excited to wait so I push her down on the bed and kiss her.  I loved the way she tasted so much I didn’t want to stop till I had to.  But when I did I wished I hadn’t because the first words out of her mouth were “I can’t do this.”  At that point I am super angry.  But I just get up and try to cool down.  When I do I figure she will probably want to go home then.  So I ask her but when she replies no faster then I thought anyone could I get very suspicious.  I look at her and ask her why but instead of answering me she looks down for a few minutes and then tells me she’s ready.  I don’t really understand but I am not going to fight because she wants to have sex with me.   So we do it for the first time.

When we are done I am so tired I pretty much pass out.  I know Jess is probably still awake.  She never really seems to sleep.  She always tells me that she is thinking.  When I ask her about what she usually just answers me by saying ‘stuff’.  So I learned to stop asking her. 

But then next morning when I wake up she is sleeping.  She looks even cuter sleeping.  I don’t want to wake her but I fell like I must because if I don’t we would be late for school again.  I walk over and shake her gently.  She wakes up a little and smiles and rolls over.  But then she eventually gets up.  We walk to school which isn’t to far away.  But that walk to school wasn’t what I planned for it to be because while we were walking  she tells me that we forgot to use a condom.  I hadn’t even thought of that.  I am usually a really responsible person and when she says that I just want to kick myself.  But I don’t want her to worry so I say “Hope for the best.”  While I smile to her on the outside I am practically crying on the inside.

The whole day I am pretty distracted.  I probably failed my science test but that really isn’t anything new.  I mean school has never been easy or fun for me.  When I finally get out of school for the day I am happy to be able to think without people looking at me or yelling at me.  I walk to my house alone.  When I get home I take a shower and pop a couple of mints knowing that Jess will probably be over soon.  

When she gets to my house there is only one thing on my mind and I can tell the same thing is on hers.   When she looks at me she states that she had made an appointment.  I am both scared and worried at that moment.  All that I keep seeing is both of us dropping out of school and working at Burger King our whole lives.  But I try to keep those thoughts out of my mind and listen to the advise I gave her.  Hope for the best. 

For the next few weeks it is hard for me to sleep.  My parents could tell something wasn’t right but they never asked.  But even if they asked I probably wouldn’t tell them.  It isn’t that my parents would get mad it is just they would be really disappointed in me and I don’t think I could take that.   I have never been a bad kid.  My parents always bragged  about me to their friend, but it is not like they will say “Look at our boy he is so fertile he got his fourteen year old girlfriend pregnant.”  Yeah that is not that likely.

The day of Jess’s appointment I was a wreck.  I almost missed her appointment.  The whole walk their I cried.  That is something I will never tell anyone.  When we got their I was in a daze the whole time and before I knew it the doctor said we could leave.  The whole week after the appointment Jess slept over.  Yeah for most guys that seems like a great dream but in this case not really.  Then when  the phone rang that one day and told us that she was pregnant I just wanted to fall to pieces but I felt like I had to stay strong for Jess. 

After we got off the phone when Jess was still in tears my mom of course walked into the room.  When Jess looked at me I knew what she was wondering.  That was if she could tell my mom that she was pregnant.  I knew it had to be done.  I also knew that she wanted to keep it.  But I was really glad that my mom was so supportive to her it proved that she was a great mother and I was really lucky she was my mom. 

When I woke up the next day I thought about what my teacher had asked and thought that maybe I should tell my parents.  But the problem was I didn’t have the courage to tell them.  I knew that if they weren’t high they would be very angry at me and probably kick me out of the house, but if I didn’t tell them and they found out on their on they would probably beat me and harm the baby.  So I decided the best thing to do was probably to tell them that I was pregnant and ask Jim to move in with him. 

I was still thinking a little though about if that was the right choice when I heard a knocking at my door.  I thought maybe it was Jim.  So I said come in but the face I saw surprised me.  It was my sister.   I was so surprised that I just stared and wonder where she had been.  So many questions raced through my head and so many thought, things I wanted to tell her things I wanted to know about her but I couldn’t put them into sentences. 

Then when she realized I was to stunned to talk she started to talk.  “It’s nice to see you again Jess. I’ve missed you so much.” The only words I could get out were “I missed you too.”  Then she asked “Do you want to go out and get something to eat?”  I just shook my head yes in astonishment.  

She took me to a place with some fancy name that I couldn’t pronounce.  She was looking better then ever.  The last time I saw her she was thirteen.  But now she is 20.  She was beautiful.  I think the smartest decision she made was probably moving out of my parents house.  For years I had thought about her, thought about what she was doing, but I never imagined she had changed so much.  She was so different I couldn’t even believe it.  

For a few moments we just sat in silence.  Then I thought of something very important that I probably should tell her but I couldn’t make out the words.  She looked at me she could tell something was wrong.  So I asked her if she had a piece of paper because it would be easier to tell her that way but she said no.  So when the waiter came by I asked him if I could borrow a piece of paper and a pen and he said sure.  I wrote down the news once again and thanked the waiter.  I handed the paper to my sister and she read it and looked at me.  Once again the look was not a surprised look but a disappointed look. 

She looked at me and said “I thought you were going to be the one to make it through school and make something of yourself but I guess our family is just born to disappoint people.”  She made me want to cry so I asked her if she would mind if I used the restroom.  When I got up to leave I could hardly see straight the tears were covering my eyes.   I finally got to the bathroom and broke into tears.  I hid in the stall wiping the tears from my eyes.  I too was disappointed in me. 

I got up after fixing my makeup and went back to the table where my sister was waiting and I could tell she wanted to ask me a million questions now.  But number one was “ Who’s the father.”  That question was probably going to be the easiest to answer.  When I told her “Jim,” she asked if she knew him.  I said probably not.  Then she asked how old he was.  I knew the answer to that question but yet I didn’t want to answer that question.  I didn’t want to answer it because I knew as soon as I did she would once again be disappointed in me and I had enough of that already but I could lie to my sister.  So I said eighteen.  She just looked at me and smiled but not the happy smile.

She asked me numerous other questions and they were all just as hard to answer but I got through them.  After dinner when I thought she would return me to our home she turned down an odd road that I had never really been on before.  So I asked “Where are we going?”  She just looked and me and said “Home.”  I was very puzzled by that answer but I just trusted her.  She pulled up to a nicer house.     

  When I asked her whose house this was she said “Ours, this house is now home for me, you and my boyfriend who bought it.”  When I asked if he would even want me to stay she had said that it was his idea for me to stay there.  I was so happy and excited.

Chapter 4 is being written right now so it will be out really soon please comment and rate so i can know what i need to improve.  Thanks