June 15, 2008
Since I left Isaac alone with another girl. I've learned how not to be jealous because that word is really strong word with a strong emotion and it is so wrong to feel that way. I never like to feel that way in truth. My heart was broken and of course...I am still hurted inside, even though I am trying to move on for a good reason. And, it will not be easy for me during this summertime but I am glad that school is really over for me. I am now senior and also he is junior too. I am not going to focus on the boys because I will try to be careful not to fall in love once again. I hate falling in love whenever I wasn't ready and careful.
Once again, I love Isaac, but deep inside I cannot have him somehow. Really, I want him to be mine but it's time, it's time for me to flee from him. I cannot stay here anymore because I am not going to wait anymore and it hurts a lot, I know. If you are trying to tell me to go toward him, I will not listen to you. I will get away from love again because I will rather focus on school first before the boys. Boys, boys, it's tough love.
It is not everything you cannot have because I've learned the lesson that I should listen to someone long time ago. I wasn't listening until now. I love him, I love him. No, I refuse to cry anymore because I am sick and tired of the tears. It hurts when I cry, but I will never let the tears fall down the cheeks over that boy? Heck no, I refuse to. I am tired of hiding my pains, but the pains will be faded away even if I don't hear his name, face, and everything about him. It will be hard time but I will always hang out with my friends, and family. It will help me forget him for real.
I guess it is time for me to say a goodnight, and goodbye for him.
P.S. I am not good at writing journal, but this is the based on my feelings and events.
Personal
Created on 7-3-08
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