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Bleeding Tears: Chapter Four
Romance
 Created on 6-17-07
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 Story Rating G
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I thought my life was hard enough from my parents, but I soon realized that my friends were maybe the cause of some. None of this made sense. If toluse really liked me then why didn't he drop me hints, or did he? Grete isn't helping, not that she ussually does, but she can sometimes cheer me up, she's not really a bestfriend I guess. I was becoming numb and dizzy of all the drama. I grabbed the blood covered object and unraveled it. I uncovered my arm to show the purple tinted scars. I drew 12 lines with a razor blade, spelling out one word, DEAD. I began to sob. I was online. So with my one hand not covered in blood I typed a status online.
“At work at art, I’d rather be left alone.” I set my icon to a picture of a razor blade and began to slit my arms, wrist, and hands. Suddenly I hear a cow moo, with means someone began to talk with me. I looked to the bright screen lighting my dark room. To my surprise it was Grete yelling at me.
Preppy_funk: Why the fuck are you cutting yourself again?! So what if everyone thinks you like him! It’s no big deal! Stop acting like a little emo girl saying her life is so hard! We've all got problems with life.
I was already crying enough, why does she have to make it worse for me? I wish I was truly numb by now. So I block her name, I was in too much pain already, and she wasn’t helping. I heard another cow go off. It was Christian talking. He was freaking out. Drama_king: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU’D TRY YOURE BEST JAMIE! YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD!!!!
I could tell he was panicking. Starting to feel dizzy, but I tried my best to type back. Fallingtears4eva: I know, but something came up. Drama_king: Was it your father again? If it was I swear to god I’m calling child services!
“It wasn’t my father!” I shouted out loud, and then realized I’m talking to him online. I set up my speaker because the image began to go fuzzy. “Can you hear me now?”
“Yes.” It sounded like he was crying when he said yes. Was he? “WHY DID YOU DO THIS TELL ME!!” He shouted.
“I-I-I…I-It’s because of…” I couldn’t finish I passed out. I had no clue what happen. All I heard then was my friend panicking, freaking out shouting,
“Oh my god what happen! Hello? Jamie? JAMIE OH MY GOD NO!” I blacked out. I began to have a dream. There was a dream I was sitting in a dark room with one light shining over in a corner. I walked towards it. When I walked into the light I saw my arms, wrist, hands, ankles, face bleeding in a mirror. I stood there not screaming, nor showing panic. This is what I’ve wanted since that deprived day on my mother’s funeral. The reflection of me began to speak. Something about he doesn’t love me, who doesn’t love me? Toluse? No, he said he does…who doesn’t love me…Christian?
I woke up and I looked outside. By the light I’m guessing it was around 5:00am. I passed out. After awhile of getting back together I got up and walked to the bath room through the door in my room near the dresser in the bottom left corner. I walked through heading the right where the sink lies. I looked at my cuts. They were deep, very deep. Any deeper and I could have died. I smiled at the thought of dying as I turn to look a painting in the room called, “Sweet Death” A beautiful dead girl lying in a boat shipped off in the river as a funeral. She was dreaming of the future of the kingdoms of her time. She watched civilization grow. I wanted to die like that. I wanted to dream of what will happen with out me being there to change it. I turned back to the sink and turned the water on. I watched at the clear flowing water became tainted with blood as I washed away the color off my arm. I saw the word dead carved in my arm. It would make a nice scar later on. A memory to remind me I’m alive because I bleed even when I write I’m dead.
I take a shower and get ready for school this morning. I noticed my father had not come home that night. His truck would have been parked in the neighbor’s fence or mailbox. He always came home drunk or high and then beat on me. It was a nice relive knowing I had a night to peace with out him. I’d clean the blood stain off my bed room floor after school. It’s not very noticeable seeing as how my carpeting is black. Heading to the door of my house, I hear the phone ring. I go to pick it up with a sigh.
“Hello….” I whispered.
“Jamie? Thank god, I thought something happened to you last night….Jamie…why…?” I stayed silence for a while; I thought I heard a faint cry. I replied then.
“…I’m sorry.” I said and hung up. I was going to be late if I didn’t get going anyways. As I walk to school I see Derek and Roxie waiting at the bus stop.
“Hey Jamie! Come over here! We’ll pay for your ride to school!” Derek shouts over to me as Roxie glares at him and sighs. I thought it was something better then walking to school, so I walked over and waited with them. When the bus came on they paid for me to ride. As we picked a seat out I began to feel the pain back in my wrist. I ignored it though. I sat next to Derek and Roxie sat across from us.
“Hey Jamie you look terrible. What happened last night?” Roxie said in an annoying tone.
“Nothing to worry about, I just fell down the stairs this morning.” I lied to her knowing that falling down the stairs has nothing to do with scars from as razor and bags under the eyes.
Comments
Please Login to post comments| On June 18th 2007 emofreakrox Said : | |
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omg, so good. and sad 2 |
