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My Letter to Samantha

Since I first saw you my sophomore year I knew you were special. Though I didn't know what you could do and would do to my world. I razzed you like an upper class man would. I made it look like it was just that though. My friends knew it was because I wanted you by my side. I went in and out of relationships but none of them compared to you. I was trying to fill something that couldn't be filled, so then I changed my method. I made contact with you through a website. We talked mainly because I was moderator and I deleted a post of yours. But we talked and everything just clicked. After a while you made it known you liked me. I questioned everything that I had known from that point forward. I was scared and never could tell you that I secretly wanted you from 2 years prior to us talking. After that we kept talking then me being the stupid boy that I was I broke contact because of fear. The strong independent headstrong teen that took crap from no one got scared. Someone was getting to close to him. After that it would be a year before I got the courage to talk to the girl that stole my heart. Girls came and went some lasting more than others but none compared to the girl from Cony that matched the girl of my dreams. Then I got a job at dollar tree; little did I know this was the beginning of my fate with you. My first day there the girl of my dreams had been helping her mother out because the new trainee would be on. I thought it was you but was to scared to ask. But you knew from the moment I walked in the door, I was the one you had a crush on.

You played head games and when my shift was done you heard me talking to your mom about you. I dodged all questions that would hint that I liked the girl I thought to be the one I was talking to a year ago. My relationship I was in for 5 months ended and I went looking for the next girl that would try and compare to you. Your mother even mentioned that you were with a guy that wasn't right for you. So to put my suspicions to rest I went back to the girl I had talked to and her status changed from single to taken. For some odd reason something compelled me to message you. Even though my heart had sunk for I had found out the truth. We talked and then I got the courage to ask for your aim. Well to my hearts desire you gave it to me. We talked on myspace; I flirted, why I do not know gut feeling that I should. You flirted back. I tried helping with your problem, little did I know I solved it just by talking to you. You told me your website needed to be updated because you were single and my heart leaped. You gave hints that you would be looking for the man you had talked to.

Finally I got the courage to ask you out and you accepted. To my dismay however, my boss was your mother and I knew I was in for a long road. I knew your mother wouldn't want you dating a guy such as me. You deserved better though you didn't want better. To you I was the best thing you could find. We have had our ups and our downs but our love has not faulterd. I have changed you and you have changed me. Almost as though we are Ying and Yang. You bring happiness and sunshine into my life and I bring comfort and protection into yours. We complete each other and though people have tried we fought through the lies and we stand strong together. Who would of thought a book smart girl that had the whole world in her hand would fall for a street smart boy with no direction, a temper that flares more then it should but with the desire to do good. We aren't perfect but it doesn't have to be we make it work.

You've shown me that its not a form of weakness to let someone into your life, that it’s really a form of strength to admit you need help. I was falling into darkness surrounded by my fears and despair. I reached out for a savior and your hand found mine and pulled me back into a life unknown to me. Everyday your teaching me something new about myself I would of never found on my own.

My love for you grows more and more and it changes and shapes me into a better man. I thank the gods each hand everyday that I have found you. Each day I try and show you how much I love you but I come up short. I know I’m not the best boyfriend in the world. Hell I’m not even the best guy in the world. But yet you stay because you see me. You see and imperfect person perfectly and you don't care what other people think. I love you Samantha and I know you could do better than me but I hope this, whatever you wanna call it fills you in on how I feel for you.

You are my world. My life. My everything and I swear by the moon and the stars I will lay my life down just to keep you happy. For when an angel smiles all is right in the world. I don't know what is to come in our life. What trials will be thrown at us but I know no matter what happens to us we will get through it together.
This letter is a confession, I look from my point of view and an expression of my love.

I love you, Samantha.

Love always,
Amos J. Knox