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Ravenwood Manor (Intro)

Ravenwood Manor (Intro)

Creative Created on 7-2-08 Views(226) Story Rating PG13

Ravenwood Manor
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- Intro -
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It was a very long graveled road that we had to cross. Yes, a very long road indeed. How such little rocks could make a large car wobble and jump, remained a mystery even to me. That was one of the reasons why I did not fancy driving out into the country.
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But this wasn’t in the country; in fact it was just along the outskirts of the city. This area was not at all like my neighborhood. There was no house in sight, not even the monster we were planning on checking out. In its picture it looked huge but it seemed that nothing could overpower the dense and dark trees.
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Zeus barked impatiently in the back and I immediately regretted bringing him along. All he could do was just sit in the car while Isis and I would tour the manor. I slowed the car at the sight of a fork in the road. There was a fresh street sign that pointed to one of the streets.
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On the right it was Willowed Avenue, it looked just like the road we have been traveling on for the past half an hour. But on the left was an anonymous road. The realtor said it kept the name of the street we were on. There was a strange darkness about it though, as if there was no end.
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The world seemed to slow as I drove along the shadowed gravel. A wrought iron gate was soon in front of me and I had to go to a stop. The toppings of the decorative iron wrote out Ravenwood.
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Suddenly as I began to get the feeling that the gate would never open, it did. They obviously added that feature recently. I noticed a blue Mercedes parked near the ancient manor; it was most likely the realtor’s.
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I glanced over at Isis and smiled a small and meek smile. She nodded and was already set on getting out of the car. I patted Zeus for a brief second and followed after her. A tall brunette with pastel make-up was standing in a nice business suit at the door.
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“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Roberts.”
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(Author’s Note: Don’t worry this isn’t some spin off of the Haunted Mansion. There is one similarity though—a mansion with a past—that really is going to be the only thing that is the same. Tell me what you think and if I should continue… thanks!)

Comments

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On September 24th 2008 brokenwings122 Said :
brokenwings122 I'm very very sorry that I just now got around to reading it. It sounds well writen although horrors and mysteries aren't really my thing. I'm sure, just like all your other work, it will be a hit.
On July 27th 2008 JWalker2406 Said :
JWalker2406 Interesting! :D
On July 11th 2008 twilight8218 Said :
twilight8218 wow what happed to my apostrophes? that is weird...
On July 8th 2008 shorteternity Said :
shorteternity this sounds interesting. kmpp.
On July 8th 2008 Aegle Said :
Aegle i like it keep me posted please
On July 6th 2008 gotmilk1994 Said :
gotmilk1994 sounds cool!!!
On July 6th 2008 ShiningKanin Said :
ShiningKanin sounds interesting so far!
On July 4th 2008 CSLuvr Said :
my picture
Interesting...:D
On July 3rd 2008 XxCloudyEyesxX Said :
XxCloudyEyesxX sounds interesting, i love that you can take it anywhere from here, i'm sure you'll come up with something great!! i subscribed to you but i think they're still trying to work that out so kmp i guess...
On July 3rd 2008 justthegirlxox Said :
justthegirlxox this is pretty neat, kmp please.
On July 3rd 2008 upyours911 Said :
upyours911 I like it, plz kmp!
On July 3rd 2008 Griffin2400 Said :
my picture
Continue plz! And if u have time check out some of my stories and tell me what you think! kmp!
On July 3rd 2008 chorusgal Said :
chorusgal kmp please
On July 3rd 2008 yeaitzJess Said :
yeaitzJess please kmp
On July 3rd 2008 chayeah22 Said :
chayeah22 Isis is an Egyptian goddess of something or another. I like it! KMP!
On July 3rd 2008 chelseaprice12 Said :
chelseaprice12 kmp please.
On July 3rd 2008 KimSmallwood Said :
KimSmallwood kmp! sounds really good. =]
On July 3rd 2008 xXPunkGirl09Xx Said :
xXPunkGirl09Xx I love this story, and please kmp♥
On July 2nd 2008 gikmo9 Said :
gikmo9 i like the way you start it. i personally think the beginnings of stories are the hardest to write. nice job. kmpp.
On July 2nd 2008 disneyfan12 Said :
disneyfan12 SOUNDS REALLY GOOD SO FAR KMP♥
On July 2nd 2008 madmarcus Said :
madmarcus I liked it. The descriptions were good. It was creepy and I dig creepy. There were little neuances like the way the little bumps made the car jump...its those little things that most young writers forget to include. Those little things make the reader relax a little and realize that the story world is just like the real world. draws them in. Other then what appears as haste to get to the story, I notice a few errors in ordering. These ordering changes will improve the further you advance in any communications classes you may be takeing and really only effect flow and keeping the reader on hooks. Really I commend you on the effort to be different most people writer crap in the stories section.
On July 2nd 2008 rosebrugh Said :
rosebrugh kmpp.i like it
On July 2nd 2008 vegxjen Said :
vegxjen sounds interesting. keep me posted =]
On July 2nd 2008 icewillow13 Said :
icewillow13 that is interesting... nancy drew, eh? are they fun...? we should probably carry this conversation in the messaging area.... so i shall message you or you me... whichever works
On July 2nd 2008 twilight8218 Said :
twilight8218 okay well here goes my explanation icewillow13... i pronounce it like that too because that was how i heard it pronounced you see i play these computer games called "Nancy Drew" they are like these mystery things, now to the point there was one that had a wolf and its name was "Isis" and i liked it so there you have it.... (phew)