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Chapter three ~ going under

When I woke, I still wasn’t sure what was going on, I’m not even sure if what was happening was even real. Maybe it was a dream. But I was sure that at this point I was awake. Maybe not fully awake but still aware.

The first thing that I felt was my head. It hurt. A lot. It was almost like someone was smacking it across a stone, hard wall again and again till all I could feel was this sharp, searing pain. My mind felt weak, I couldn’t think. My whole body ached, giving me a feeling of soreness. I went to scream, cry out in agony. But nothing came out. Instead, it was my mind that was screaming. I could hear it so clearly, so loud that I was sure someone could hear it. I was going to go mad if this pain wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t stand it. It couldn’t have been this bad before, nothing could ever be this bad. . I tried opening my eyes, but they wouldn’t open. I couldn’t move, my whole body was stiff. I panicked. What was happening to me? Why couldn’t I wake up? Was the operation still going on? Would I feel everything? Maybe what I was feeling was the operation, this agony. Would it get any worse? I couldn’t bare anymore of this, I needed to wake up.

That’s when I heard voices, very faint voices. But I was sure I could hear them.

“Yes, I agree. An increase would be good. In fact, I was going to anyway, the organisation needs more information, tones more. I’ll need more data from you of coarse.” Yes, I was sure that what I was hearing here was true, I couldn’t make this up could I? I was certain that this was real.

“An increase? I meant it should stop. Stop altogether. This has gone on for long enough. I can’t even begin to imagine how this effects him. How much pain this is causing him.”

“It can’t feel anything.”

“How do you know? I can’t carry on hurting him anymore. He’s my son, my precious son.” I was sure this was my fathers voice I could here. He’d come at last.

“Precious? Get a hold of yourself Leonard. You knew the agreement at the start.”

“Well, I’ve changed my mind. How could you do this? If he doesn’t come round, if he’s in any pain whatsoever.” I tried talking to him, telling him that I was fine, but I couldn’t. it was so frustrating.

“It will come round. And maybe it needs some pain. If it acts like an animal, then it’ll be treated like an animal.”

“Ollie.” he said. There was a sudden silence in the room then, I wasn’t sure what was going on.

“I won’t allow this to carry on. No more. He’s sixteen, he needs a life of his own.”

“You can talk. Locking it up in here, keeping it hidden is giving it a life is it?”

“He’s safe here. Safe with me.”

“Chucking it down the stairs is keeping it safe? I must say Leonard, you’re a great father figure.”

“That was an accident. Ollie knows that.” I was sure at this point I could feel something touching my hair, almost smoothing it.

“Yes, of coarse it does.”
“Ollie. His name is Ollie. He’s not an it.”
“You may refer to him by its name, but as I recall its name isn’t registered.” Whatever did that mean? Name isn’t registered? I couldn’t even concentrate properly.

“He’s still a person. He has feelings. I think, it’s best if you leave for a while. Just for a couple of days, let Ollie rest.”

“Leave? Now, Leonard you cannot get rid of me. I can easily take him away from you, just like you did.”

“No, Ollie’s my son. You can’t. You can’t take him away from me. I won’t let you, he’s mine. My baby.” I heard a laugh.

“Perhaps it’s time for a change. Maybe it will be better somewhere else, you cannot control it. Your not well Leonard, are you?” I’d always thought this, but it was only now that I’d come to realise it was true. My father wasn’t well. He was obsessed with keeping me safe and protected. He’d hardly ever leave my side.

“No, I’m fine. Please, I’ll do whatever you want, don’t take him away from me. You can’t. Please.” I heard a cry, a yell and then a thud. Then nothing. Did that just happen? Or was it my mind playing tricks on me? Was I dreaming? I wasn’t sure. But I could hear no longer. My mind was drifting away, I was slowly sinking back into unconsciousness. Before I knew it I was back under, dead to the world.