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thevickb

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“Fell? Leonard could have asked me, I’d have done it for him.” I ignored this comment, looking away from his smirking face, and at the wall in front whilst he continued to check me.

When he finished he left the room, leaving me secured to the chair. I had no idea where he was going, but I knew he wasn’t finished with me yet. We still had the most important part to go yet. I wondered where my father was, what had the doctor done to him? He would never leave me alone with him for a second. As I looked at the table beside me I realised that he had no way of securing me to that horrid thing. But I know I had no need to be, in minutes I wouldn’t be awake anymore, I’d be asleep, lost in my dreams, to even know what was happening to me. That’s one reason why I hated it so much, I had no idea what would happen to me when I was under. Why did everyone have to do this anyway, to me these operations were pointless, why put people through it?

His image appeared behind the door, books and writing papers layering his arms.

“Read” he said shoving a book under my nose, it was one of those big colourful picture books. I started shivering as soon as he said that, my legs knocking together. Though I don’t know why, I knew I could read, could read a great deal better than a picture book. But he’d never asked me to do this before, it was only my father I had to read to, and he didn’t bother asking me to anymore.

“It can read?” That word again. It. Every time he said it he emphasized the word, spit frothing from his mouth. It. I’ve come to hate that word. It was like I was an animal to him, but at least animals had names, he couldn’t even bare saying mine.

“Ollie. My name is Ollie.” I said finally, this it thing was really starting to get on my nerves. I’d done nothing to deserve that treatment.

“Read.” he said again, acting almost as if he hadn’t heard what I’d said.

“The cat, sat on the mat.” I began, feeling stupid. I could read much better than this, though to him I probably wasn’t even capable.

“Hickory, dickory dock, the mouse went up the clock. “ I felt my face go red, I wasn’t supposed to be improving. No one was to know that I’d been secretly reading, things that I shouldn’t be reading, things he wouldn’t want me to know about. Like about mothers. What was it about them? How come I didn’t have one? What did they do? And how were baby’s made? I feel stupid even saying this now, but I had no idea then. I knew there was this whole thing about a man and a woman, this whole thing about a three-letter word. Sex. What was that anyway? It was like a secret word to me, a hushed language, something I wasn’t allowed to talk about. Something that was bad, dirty and wrong. But what happened? How was a baby produced? What happens once they kiss on the lips and sleep in the same bed? What do they do? It was all so complicated to me, and I knew that a person my age should know this by now. Every time I even asked about it, or about a woman my father would go ballistic, his temper rising. But how else will I ever find out about it? I didn’t even have an idea what a woman actually looked like, I’d never seen one, never in my life. I only knew about them by reading books. It was the only way I could survive in this place. Reading was my life. He couldn’t find out I’d been reading more than I should, he’d never allow me to read again. That would be one of the worst things that could ever happen to me. He could never find out.

“Has Leonard been reading with it? He didn’t say.” I nodded my head at him, hoping he didn’t see behind this, hoping he wouldn’t find out the truth.

“Write. Your name if possible.” he said, handing me a pen and some paper. This bit I wasn’t very good at. My writing skills still needed greatly improving.

“I’m left handed.” I said. It was hard enough writing with my left hand, I couldn’t manage my right.

“If I have to keep repeating myself to it…… “ That was a threat right there, I started to write,

olie Leonerd MileR