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Chapter 2

We walked on for some time, turning corners and heading down all sorts of alleyways. Neither of us spoke. He trudged on fast ahead of me, whilst I dragged behind trying my best to keep up with him. I hoped that we would stop soon. My strength was growing weaker at every step I took and I was sure I would not be able to last much longer. My stomach made a loud rumble, reminding me that I was hungry. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten a proper meal; it must have been more than a day since I’d eaten anything at all. He walked on further ahead, out of my sight so now I could no longer see where he’d gone. I panicked a little, walking faster so I could just make out the slight image of his body way out in front of me. I tried getting close to him, afraid that I would lose him. By now, I felt so weak that I could barely stand. My pace now getting shorter until I’d stopped altogether. I could no longer carry on. I thought that I was going to faint at any minute. I stood still for a moment, my body now swaying, or so it felt like at the most. My head started spinning and my vision blurred.

Then my legs gave way.

All I remember after this is the sensation of being lifted into the air, and then I was dead to the world. I woke suddenly, looking around me to find that I was in an unfamiliar room. I was sat propped up in one of the two armchairs near a blazing fire. It was a small room, but cosy. There was a table in the near centre of the room, which was I supposed was for eating at, a bookcase filled to the brim with books was stood in the far end of the room.

Next to this was a door, which was black and grimed with dirt. I guessed that the room must be a bedroom.

Being so used to the unfamiliar and never knowing where I’d wake up to next, I didn’t panic. The only thing I did find uncomfortable was the feisty fire with its blazing orange flames. Fire was bad. I didn’t know how I knew this; I just felt it deep inside. Looking into its flames, I could feel its desire and rage. Apart from this, I felt comfortable in my surroundings and safe. I was happy where I was for now and soon found myself drifting off to sleep again.

Then the dream came to me. I was standing in the centre of the forest. It was warm and sunny, the warmth of the sun shining down on my back. I stood still for some time, feeling the slight breeze of the wind hitting my face. I looked ahead; a bright golden light was shining out in front of me. I followed the light, coming to an enlightened path that shone brightly. I walked towards it following my instincts as it lured me in. I walked barefoot, the ground was soft and the grass prickled my feet as I walked lightly across it. The tree’s shook lightly from the gust of the wind, the leaves rustling beside them. I almost felt as if they were talking to me, warning me not to go forward. I took no notice, and still walked on, not a care of what was lying in wait ahead. Mythical creatures and animals crossed my path as I strolled on. Little fairies with wings fluttered past me, whispering together in a hushed language, they chased each other and hid in the bark of the trees’ almost like playing a child’s game of hide and seek. A white stallion horse, its horn trimmed with silver beads, galloped ahead of me, its hooves click clopping on the ground. Timid rabbits came out from the thick of the woods, coming closer to me, so that I could touch them with my hands. I didn’t think anything of it, this was normal to me and I welcomed them. The path began to grow steeper, and so I walked on moving upwards, beyond the gleaming light ahead. I was getting closer to my destination. I could hear the light glisten of water running, like a stream or a lake. Then I stopped suddenly. An opening now appearing in the mist of the forest. I walked toward it coming to an embankment. There I stood for a moment, just outside the opening, as if thinking about it but no thoughts crossed my mind. When I finally stepped into the opening, I was standing on a hill, overlooking a beautiful dark winter’s lake. The lake went on for miles; I could barely see the end of it. It must have turned to night now, because I could see the reflection of the moon in the lake, the sleeping water reflecting the evening sky. The water rippling softly, from the night’s air around me. I moved downward, getting closer to the lake. A desire urged through me to walk into the lake, though I couldn’t swim and would probably drown, my body sinking to the very bottom of the lake if there was one. But I didn’t. I fought the urge deep inside me. I looked down at my image in the reflection as the moon beamed down upon my back. My image took me by surprise, I didn’t know how much I’d grown and changed. I was a different person from the one I was four years ago, I couldn’t even remember who that person was. I still looked about the same, but I’d grown taller, gotten skinnier. I looked so much at how skinny I was that I was sure I could see my bones sticking out of my skin for a moment. But when I looked again the image was gone. It was just the reflection of the lake playing tricks on me. I did notice how withdrawn and frail I looked now, gasping at the sight of me. My eyes red and sunken, the bags under my eyes made me look old and tired, as if worn out. My cheeks were sullen and drawn in. My skin was yellow and tinged. My body hunched down low, I wasn’t standing straight at all.

My image reminded me somewhat of Robert Planks. A boy four years my senior. He’d lived in that orphanage all his life. He was a bright lad, brighter then any of us. He had the brightest blue eyes I’d ever seen, brighter than the deepest ocean. He had a big mop of blonde curly hair, which when you touched it felt like a prickly rose bush or a hedge. It covered the one part of his left eye, so that he was forever pulling it out of his eyes. I’d watched him doing it once, counting the times. I gave up after a few minutes; I’d already reached to fifty. He’d walk with a stoop, his body hunched down low. He’d always had a bad leg, ever since I could remember. When he’d walk he’d shuffle a little, holding onto his right knee. It made me laugh out loud a little at the very thought of him, him with his bushy hair and bad leg. His little frail body shuffling along. I stopped myself, sickened at how cruel I could be. He was always smiley and cheery, though he was given a hard time a lot often than the rest of us. He was often ridiculed and poked fun at by everyone. His physical ability got in the way of doing things that we found easy. He was usually punished for it, they called him lazy. Though I knew he couldn’t help it and the real reason behind it was because he was so damn happy all the time. No matter what anyone did, he never gave in. That’s why he was hated so much, because he never gave into them. Never let them get him down. Sometimes when I was younger, he’d come into my bed when I was sad, tell me jokes and laugh. He always knew when to cheer me up, made me happy when I was sad, always wiped my tears and told me not to fret. He’d even sing to me. Though his voice was terrible and was like a yowling cat, it was a wonder he didn’t break any of the windows. He did that, even though he knew what trouble there’d be if he were found. He was the only sane person I knew. Then his leg got worse. He tried not to show it but I knew it was bad. I knew he was in pain but he didn’t let anyone know it. Not anyone. I was frightened for him; I’d heard the stories, what would happen when you were no use anymore. People taken from their beds, dragged into the darkness, never to be seen again, then hospitals and some sort of treatment. The thought terrified me. It could have happened to any of us. It grew worse and worse day by day, till he couldn’t stand anymore. He spent the rest of his life lying in bed. I don’t know how horrid that must have been. Lying in bed waiting to die. I’d go and look in on him sometimes, though there was murder when I was found. When I came his face would always light up, showing his gleaming smile. He’d asked me to sing to him, like he had done for me. He cried when I’d finished, I remember that being the first time I’d ever seen him cry before, he was such a happy person, and they had broken him. I’d come and see him every day, though I was always caught doing it. I didn’t care what happened to me. I only cared for Robert. Everyone knew he was dying, I just wanted to make him happy in the days he had left, just like he’d have done for me.

I was there with him the night he died, holding his hand and singing. . His face was as pale as the white snow, his sunken just like mine now. He looked so weak and frail, nothing like himself. For a moment I even though it was someone else, someone who died pretending to be him. I wanted him to be smiling, like he always was, but his floor was as cold and hard as the stone floor below him. He didn’t look peaceful, just old and bare. I wanted that for him at least, to die peacefully and with dignity. But he didn’t. He died alone and in pain, a young boy the only one to comfort him in his last moments. He was so smart, bright, he had everything to live for, his whole life ahead of him. He didn’t deserve to die the way he did, he was a better man than any of us. I found myself crying, crying in my dream. The tears streaming down my face so fast. He was so brave and true. I found myself wishing, wishing that it had been me that died that day. I had nothing in life, nothing to live for. I wished that it were me in that bed, with his hands holding mine, and signing to me just like a cat. I wouldn’t have minded that. That day, I told myself I would live on in his memory. I would never again show them that I was unhappy and sad, never again let them see the tears that ran down my face. Whatever they said or did, I would never let them break my spirit.

My face suddenly became his in the water. I stared hard for a moment believing that I’d become Robert, his image now mine. I blinked, my eyes filled with tears. When I looked again he was gone and my own face peered back at me once more. Beside me now was a horse, a pure white horse. At the top of his head was a horn, a white sparkling horn trimmed with gold. It looked so beautiful that all I wanted to do was ride upon its back. Feel the comfort of his back upon me. It knelt down beside me, drinking from the lake. I came toward it slowly and cautious, lightly touching the creature, feeling its soft warm fur.

Then the change happened. The sky grew black, and the weather thunderous. The unicorn turned vicious, glaring its sharp teeth. Two bodies appeared now out in front of me. None of them was Roberts. I felt my heart beat faster than ever before; I looked at them, their faces just like Roberts was. The scene of the bodies sickened me to the very core. I didn’t know who they were but I felt horror and disgust just by seeing them. I’d seen a lot of bodies in my lifetime, more than I should have. A dark figure, dressed in a long black coat, its hood up appeared in front of the bodies. He turned, pulling down his hood to reveal his face……….

My whole body was telling me to run, but I stood still, glued to the spot. He started laughing madly, franticly, just like a maniac would. He pointed his finger toward me “You’re next!”

I screamed. Waking up drenched in sweat. The dreams of the bodies would come often to me. I knew it meant something, though I didn’t know what. The thought of the bodies made me sick and filled with fear. I didn’t know who the bodies were, but I felt I knew them. I sat up properly to see Jake by the fire tending to something.

“Bad dream?” He asked me whilst turning to face me. I nodded staring down at the cold floor, avoiding any eye contact with him. I wanted to say something, thank him for earlier, but my mind was blank. I just couldn’t get the words out.

“You hungry? Get some soup if you want it.” I nodded my head again, hearing the sounds of my stomach; He beckoned me to the table, placing a small wooden bowl in front of me. The smell of the food overpowered me, I ravaged for the food as if I were an animal. I ate quickly, the hot warm liquid running down my throat. It was delicious, surely the best thing I’d ever tasted. Before I knew it the bowl was empty, I licked the spoon, then the whole bowl so not even a droplet was left. I stopped suddenly. Looking up I noticed that he was watching me.

“You can eat the whole bowl if ya like.” He said with a smile.

I blushed furiously, my whole body heating up the tips of my toes to the top of my head. What must he think of me? I couldn’t believe that I’d been so rude. I began to say something, mumbling my words as they stumbled out. But, he must have not heard me, or seen through my embarrassment because he changed the subject.

“You had a mighty fall earlier, took me by surprise. You still look awfully pale, feeling a bit ill?” I nodded my head once again, feeling like a puppet. I felt stupid, why couldn’t I speak to him?

“You can talk can’t you?” He asked now, sitting down beside me at the table, so we were now facing each other. His eyes locked into mine, I couldn’t look away now.

“Yes, sir.” I said finally, still looking into his eyes, unable to look away.

“Good. For a moment there I thought you were mute.”

“Sorry. I……. I’m not used to meeting new people.”

“I guessed that.” He looked me up and down, looking hard at my pale features. It was like he was reading me, finding out who I was inside and out.

“How old are you? Twelve?” He asked me. I gave it some thought, trying to figure out how long it had been since I first came into the orphanage. I didn’t know my exact age, couldn’t remember the date of my birth, only the day I was born on.

“Around fourteen I think, sir.”

“Your tall for your age aren’t you?” he said now looking at my tall, thin body. I didn’t think I was that tall, not compared to others the same age. I just nodded at him again, not knowing what else to say.

“How long since you’ve last eaten?” He blurted it out so suddenly that I guessed this was what he was building up to. My body and the way I’d eaten gave away the fact that I was undernourished, skinnier than I should be. My weight loss had been rapidly decreasing through the years that came. The question did take me by surprise, though it was obvious that this was what he intended the conversation to lead up to.

I shrugged my shoulders at him; I couldn’t remember the last day I’d eaten. So much had been happening over the last couple of days that I’d lost track of time.

“I don’t know. A few days.” I said guessing. I really hadn’t a clue. He frowned at this, almost as if looking at me with sympathy. If that was all he was going to do then I’d rather leave now. I didn’t want anyone giving me sympathy; if I was here just because he was sorry for me then I couldn’t bare that.

“Then it’s no wonder your feeling so weak.” I knew that was part of it, I was often feeling like this, moments when I couldn’t stand for long. The other part I knew I wasn’t going to tell him. It wouldn’t make any difference. He placed another bowl out in front of me. I shook my head at him. No more, I told him.

“Go on. Get it down you. It looks like it’ll do you some good.” So I did what he told me, though I hated myself for it. I’d told myself once that I wouldn’t do anything for anyone ever again. Now I’d obeyed him, like I was his pet. I ate more slowly this time. He sat there for some time, watching me and smiling. I didn’t know what to say.

“Thank you, sir.” I said finally, speaking more clearly than I had before. He seemed like a decent man, more decent than any man I’d known before. I knew that just by looking at him.

“No manners eh?” He said with a grin, his eyes sparkling brightly. “Speaking of manners. Where’s mine? I’m Jake, Jake Aquilo.

Your name?” He asked waiting for my answer.

“Tristan.” I replied,

“Tristan.” He said slowly, thinking the name over in his head. “Last name?”

“Just Tristan.” I said, trying to remember. But I couldn’t. My last name was a mystery to me.

“No last name?” He asked me quizzically. I shook me head.

“Can’t remember sir.”

“Tristan. Unusual name that. Nice to make acquaintance with you, just Tristan.” He smiled again, his grin spreading across his face, his eyes wide and sparkling more brightly than before. “I think it’s best if you get some rest now. We’ll talk more in the morning. I’ll show you to the room.” He turned toward the black door; I followed him as he showed me to a bed. The bed was so warm and comfortable that I didn’t even have time to look around the room, because as soon as my head hit the pillow I was asleep.