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What ever happened to the young mans heart |
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What ever happened to the young mans heart
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 Created on 1-8-07
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"Whatever Happened to the young mans heart?"
Swallow'd by pain as he slowly fell apart. Yeah it was my new profile song, but its true 2day. 1-01-07
As some of you know ive tried to stay single nearly 75 % of my life or so and i have been for the last 11 months or so. What i dont even know is how women can have such an effect on me since i mistakably avoid the good ones and sing this song with the others, not that i regret them or anything but some people just never see what really matters to me . Ever since i was a kid all i ever wanted to do was help people, it wasnt a dream or anything just my one base instinct that i cant help. Well today it really showed me what i get for my troubles, and im beginning to understand why so many of my freinds have closed thier hearts to anyone who could even pierce it. Ive seen my best childhood freinds ruin thier lives in drugs and alcohol over this very thing . And im sure its not right for me to talk about them but it has to do with this.
Women are gods gift to men with a price,as we are to them unless ur gay but im pretty sure ur all sexually conventional for the most part @least . He knows your intentions from the start . No matter how hard you hide it , the pusuit of every boys penis is to find a hole and fill it and I can understand with todays philosophy of "Becoming a Man" Which i realized partially in my virgined days was bullshit. I was more focussed on meeting my fathers standard than gettn the first girl i saw pregnant. Im glad of that but it still leaves me with the rest of this. Just so you know my mind goes a mile a minute so if you dont understand me just ask me WTF im talking about if you care.
I look back @ my self as a man whore as a little kid , dating every girl i saw till i dumped one good girl for no reason but to date some new girl around the corner . Shes a deuche bag now but as i got to know her in the first few weeks i learned of how fucked up a kids family can be . We got along great till the summer was over which was normal , she started at a new school and bla bla blah..we split but the one thing i remembered was how much i knew and cared about this little girl more because of her problems than because she had been my girlfreind. The last thing she said to me was act like u dont know me when u see me in school. Mean while all of her freinds knew of me and ididt care more than i did so i told her to fuck off and to never talk to me again. We were kids, maybe 10 but that was the first time a girl broke my heart and i didnt even like her that much. Not because she left me but because of how she said it . Like she had no Heart . Mean while i went on being a kid for a while ,So then my parents were having a party with mostly family over and the screen door was open and i heard them talking about us kids "me and Sis" and they were listening to one of my aunts and she said, The kids are growing up so quick ! Which ones gonna be the most trouble with other girls and boys? Speaking of how young my parents were when they concieved me and sonia. And i cant remember which one of them said it but to my suprise they both agree'd on me. I never 4got that for some reason just waited a few seconds and walked through the door. So i guess i just figured fuck them ill prove'm wrong . And i did 11 or so years later with the introduction of the most important little girl in my life Lena Marie , my sisters daughter of 3 yrs and a couple of months.No one really knows any of this but the hell with it i got nothing left to loose.
I doubt u'll even read this far without realizing im a fukkn idiot but it makes sense to me that love for another has to be gained purely true of heart not of mind cause god blessed us guyswit 2 of them minds incased in a head for each. In almost 25 years i think i only met one girl who really snatched my heart but for only a moment and then she was gone. And i know this mann. But all the while i could never for get no matter how hard i tried that one . I figure its just a wake up call from the lord above that I better get my head on straight before i jump back in. Cause with every one after that little dueche bag i get the same feeling that i felt those summer days of my youth . And i further understand the pain of the broken hearted even when it was on my head breaking thier hearts. So ill think the next time i see that hot chik that stares back at me with that look and WALK AWAY........................................................................
I had a bad newyear and was just thinking of what was happening to me and all this came to mind
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