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sylviadawn

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     It all started when i was 10 and my sister was 15. we were always close she told me everything and i told her everything. but her emotions begain to rage out like bats from a dark damp cave. she began to cut herself all the time. i heard her scream and cry while she was lokced in the bath room. noone could help her. she would run away in the rain up the road with a sharp razor blade in her hand slitting her wrist. everytime it happen i cryed for hours upon hours and then she would come tell me it was alright and she loved me but i knew this were way wrong i asked her sister why do you do this she replied because it takes away all the pain[but it didn't make sence] i asked how can  you get rid of pain by causeing it and she explained when  you fell rilly bad like no one loves you or wants to be with you or like they never care you can't feel the pain when the blade slides acrossed your cold skin then i thought maybe she was right. but i wanted her to stop so bad all the time i would hide the razors and hope she didn't find them but she always had one hiden some were. my was left heartbroken and always thought y are you foing this to me i can't take it. she wouldn't just slit her wrist she even told me she was gonna take so many pills to OD but i stopped her i prayed so hard for god to change her but it never worked so as she got older it got worse after she would loose a boyfriend she would cut i always thoguht about her b/4 i got to sleep wondering will i wake up and have a sister or would i wake up and see her laying in a puddle of cold red blood. it kept happening all the time and i wanted it to STOP but i couldn't do anything and i wish i could so she finally reached the age of 16 she tryed to go to a place were they woulld help her but it only made it worse she did it more often now she felt so much more pain when she would leave i would read her diary it was filed with so much emotion i wanted to cry. i was setting in my floor one night when i came upon her diary wheich said sylvia stay out but i opened it any way i flipped the pages and their it read I WANT TO DIE in her own blood. i started to cry and i took it and ran to my mom look i told her. as she read her eyes filled with tears this has to stop i said so we started to tlk to her more often and show her a little bit of more love and it started to improve then one night my mother and father got into a fight and she cut again she tryed to hide it like no one was going to find out but they did iam like nacy drew i figure things out so i tlked to her i told her she nneded to stop before something rilly bad happens and she promised me well a couple years wetn by and she hadn't cut i was soo happy for her then things began to get even better she got an apartment and a boyfriend who is now her feaunce and she feels loved and cred for now so she doesn't cut things couldn't get better

 [for all thouse who think about suicide it not worth it kepp your head up and be stong]