cliff and the dead cat (part 2)

So now Cliff had to go to China to get the dead cat. This delayed Cliff’s plan of going to his grandma’s to knit mittens, so he was not happy. When Cliff got to China a few minutes later, (yes he walked), he noticed something strange… the cat wasn’t dead anymore! It was full of life and running around doing cat things… and licking himself… oh wait that was Cliff. Never mind. The dead cat was next to a shoe.

Silly Cliff. 

Now Cliff and the dead cat had to head home so they wouldn’t miss American Idol so Cliff gently stuffed the dead cat into his left pocket and headed back to Africa… I mean America… *shifty eyes*

When they got back to the woods, Cliff tripped on that stupid rock again and hurt his toe. Ouch. While Cliff was tending to his boo-boo, he decided that it would be a good idea to return the cat to its rightful owner because he might be rewarded with a snowball. (yay snowballs!) Cliff examined the cat but there didn’t appear to be a collar, but there was a wallet in the cat’s right pocket that contained the cat’s ID and drivers license. The cat apparently lived in a rich neighborhood, far away from where Cliff lived because Cliff didn‘t finish high school. (He dropped out to sell cookies at his local bakery which didn‘t work out that well because the manager was selling crack so the business was shut down.) 

Cliff knew that a classy person, like the dead cat’s owner, wouldn’t appreciate him showing up at his door looking like he does now. So Cliff went to his local baseball park and put on his mother’s nightgown before getting into his boat to return the dead cat. When he arrived at the dead cat’s owner’s doorstep two years later (it’s hard rowing a boat on pavement!), the cat was very smelly. So Cliff broke into the dead cat’s house and washed the dead cat in the toilet then the shower, and finally dried it off in the owner’s bed. 

While leaving the dead cat’s owner’s house, he realized that he had missed American Idol.