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What He Has Done For Me

NonFiction Created on 4-20-07 Views(157) Story Rating G

I have been through alot. My dad left when I was 2. My mom always had mean boyfriends who would be mean to me. One used to beat me and subject me to cruel and unsual punishments, like sleeping in a bathtub, pouring hotsauce down my throat, making me beat myself, standing on my tippy toes for hours, and alot more... One of her boys friends put me down alot and called me fat and ugly...etc. The last one, her husband now, he molested me multiple times and tried to rape me. After I came out and told some one, my mom did not believe me, and stayed with him. when he went to jail, my mom tried to kill herself. Naturally all this pain and suffering led to self destruction. I could not trust a man so I started being with girls. I would cut myself because I just wanted to feel alive. I smoked pot and drank to drown out the pain. All i vere wanted was to feel loved. I had a good friend who intorducted me to church, and I went for awhile, but she chose some one else over me. I even met an amazing guy and pulled out of some of the behaviors, but he broke up with me and I spiraled downward. I got back with that guy, who is now my husband, and I stopped smoking pot and drinking, but I still cut every once in awhile. I also had stopped hanging out with bad groups of people. My (at that time) boyfriend went off to boot camp to become a Marine and I while he was gone I started a new self destructive behaviour. One I call, 'trying to make mom proud of me." I was fat, so I combined bulima and anorexia to lose weight. i got a job so she would not have to support me. I made the best grades i could in school. I wanted to be the perfect gilr. Skinny, smart, strong, and blonde. I dyed my hair blonde and started taking good care of myself on the outside, but i was ripping myself apart on the inside. i was hiding lies and secrets. I got engaged and my parents told him about my bulimia. I lied more and convinced him they were lying. Even after the marriage I still continued cutting, but I hid it. I also continued with the bulimia. Then came a new self destruction, alcohol abuse. My new husband and I would party every weekend and get drunk. Our marriage quickly went downhill. Even worse, i found out he cheated. Shortly after, I lost a baby. Before we could work things out, he got shipped off to Iraq. i went back into the self destructive of drinking and partying, which led to my own infedelity. when my husband came home I broke down and told him the things I had done. He told me he could not judge me because he had done it first and that being in Iraq had opened his eyes to the things in life he took for granted. He was willing to stay with me and I was willing to stay with him. We wanted to make our marriage work. So, we moved away from all those people who contributed to some negative impact in our lives. We pursued a good church. i gave my life over to God and so did my husband. Through much prayer and faith, God has helped deliver me from my self destructive behaviors. I now have a wonderful husband, an awesome marriage, 2 precious boys, and amazing life ahead of me. This is all truly a work of God and I will be forever grateful!!!

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On June 3rd 2007 jbutler42591 Said :
jbutler42591 i personally dont believe in God i have a friend tho hes Baptist im Catholic i dont believe in God cuz my parents have always tried to force me to belive in God so i explained this to a Baptist Pastors Wife 2day cuz my friend finally got me to call the Baptist Pastor to check out his church so i went 2day n i explained to her i dont belive in God cuz my parents all my life have tried to force me to belive in him n she completly understood n then i went into the church n its was great im goin back next sunday i had a great time there n hopefully my mother doesnt kick me outta the house 4 doin this cuz shes already not talkin to me cuz i went there once 2day
On April 25th 2007 mrskritter Said :
mrskritter great story glad you found God he was there all the time just waiting for you both
On April 23rd 2007 frodoismyname Said :
frodoismyname that's awesome, my dad tends to get drunk (every night) he doesn't hurt me physcally but emotionally.
On April 20th 2007 psychomama28 Said :
psychomama28 i have been a cutter most my life. i hope you have stopped that now. its sad to hear the troubles you whent through. im glad you found god!
On April 20th 2007 onaipwolf Said :
onaipwolf Perhaps you could elaborate on when you actually gave your life to God. What were the circumstances, where was it, how did it happen, all that stuff.
On April 20th 2007 makeitloud16 Said :
makeitloud16 I, of all people, definately understand the power of God. your testimony will help someone, and you will be blessed for it