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The next two weeks were filled with surprises. I stayed on Kane’s couch to sleep at night for the first week and then I ended up sleeping in his bed. People stopped looking at me as just a girl, they started looking at me as Kane’s lover. Even though he wasn’t there some nights. If he couldn’t be there during the day as well then he would have Dana stay with me, and if not Dana then his friend Marshall. 

One day I had to spend the day with Marshall because Dana had what they called “putting together drinks and dinner together for a girl named Tammy”. Also Kane was going to sleep. He hadn’t stayed with me the  night before. Leaving me in his bed at 10:30 and he didn’t arrive home until 5:00 am. I ignored all of this, I didn’t care. I was safe with him, I was safe with anyone he put me with. He made me feel special and his friend Marshall did too. 

Marshall did what Kane had told him to, he took me shopping. I needed some new clothes. I was confused first we went and got me a tooth brush and some deodorant. When I offered to pay Marshall shook his head. Then we went and got me some what he called day clothes at the mall. He picked these out too. After that we went to another store away from the mall called, Sensations. It was filled with close that Dana had been wearing the night I met her, and what a lot of the girls wore when they brought Kane money. 

Here Marshall also picked out the clothes. I brushed it off thinking maybe these aren’t for me. He didn’t hand me the bag like he had at the mall, he held these in his hand. Taking me back to Kane’s place. We got there at 5:00. Kane was already awake. Walking in he gave me a kiss and walked over to Marshall. Marshall was tall, he had dirty blonde hair and was in his twenties. He wore black suit pants and a blue button up shirt. Nice shoes and looked rich as well. Kane asked him if he had gotten the stuff and he nodded handing him the bag. 

Marshall left. I went to the bathroom and put on my new underwear. It felt nice to change after so long. Even though I had taken plenty of showers, I didn’t have any clean underwear so I hadn’t been wearing any. I slipped the white laced thong on and put on my new jeans. Wow, Marshall had great taste I thought to myself as I  pulled a black cami. Walking out of the bathroom Kane looked over at me smiling. He walked over and gave me a kiss. 

He sat down with me on his bed and stroked my hair. 

“Lori”

“yes”

I answered in almost a whisper.

“Are you happy with me?”

“yes I am, I love it here”

“good”

“listen I know you paid for these new clothes, and I wanted to pay you back”.

laughing he asked me

“now Im glad to hear you say that, but how sugar?”

“I have a little less than one thousand dollars”.

“O really, in cash?”

“yes all in my bag”.

“babe it isn’t smart to carry cash in a bag like that.”

“it isn’t safe”.

“Well I can give it to you, then I could be debt free for all the food and stuff you buy me and then I can figure out another way to pay for myself”.

“Well that would be a good idea”.

Standing up I ran and got the money, bringing back the Bible it was hidden in.

Pulling out the money I handed it to him smiling. Smiling back he looked at my Bible and asked me...

“So you religious”?

“No, I mean I believe in God and all but I don’t go to church and stuff”.

“Why are you”?

“Nah, I guess Im kinda like you kitten”.

“So your really happy with me”

“yes very happy, I feel safe with you”.

“Thats good, I want you to feel safe. So you feel comfortable with me”

“yes very comfortable”

laying a kiss on his lips as I spoke

“So have you ever kissed another guy?”

giggling a little I answered

“yes”

“oooooo!”

he laughed too.

“what about anything else”?

this time looking down i didn’t answer.

“whats wrong sugar”?

“nothing”

“yes there is something wrong, I can tell. Tell me what it is”

“yes, I have but not with people I wanted to”

“O you just did it to make them happy”?

“No, I fought them while they got happy. My mom, she’s a crack addict. She brought all of her friends and boyfriends over. When she passed out they had there way with me. 

“all the way”?

“no, Im still a virgin, I just have been forced to do everything else.”

Tears were rolling down my face as I spoke, I had never told anyone before. Except my mom who told me I was a slut. 

“Its ok, Its ok”

“thanks”

I got closer to him. 

“you know guys do have their needs, but those guys didn’t deserve you. You know I wont ever hurt you like those guys did. Anything we do is love. Its always love. What you did wasn’t love. It doesn’t count as anything.”

Looking up at him I smiled.

“I love you baby you know that right”?

I had never been told this from a guy in my life, never.  I never had the chance to say it either. So I said it for the first time to him. 

“I I love you too”.

“your the first guy I’ve ever said that to. ever”

“wow, I can’t imagine no other guy loving you. Your so beautiful and so smart”.

“thanks”

I looked down out of embarrassment. I didn’t know how to look someone in the eye. My self confidence was so low. 

“Baby I think it’s time we had sex”.

No! I thought deep inside, but a part of me wanted to please him. I felt I owed it to him. I felt like he would be the only one to ever love me. So I agreed. I lost my virginity that night. It wasn’t everything I had expected. I didn’t think I did good at all. Kane told me I was great. 

He had stripped me naked except for my panties. He moved them aside as he entered me. It hurt so bad, I was filled with pain. I even cried. When Kane was done I bleed a little. Staining my new white panties. My blood stained white panties where ruined. I could never wear them again with the stains on them. Kane held me  for hours that night. Then he left at mid night. With a kiss on the forehead. He told me I was perfect, and to not worry it wouldn’t hurt as much next time. He then gave me a pill. He told me it would stop me from getting pregnant. 

When he was gone I remember, I cried so hard. Throwing my panties away. I felt so embarrassed and confused. I ignored it though. I had to. Kane told me he loved me, he even took me in to his own home. I felt I needed to give it to him. I owed it to him.