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Southern Accent {Prologue}Authors Comments: Please tell me what you think,is it good, bad, ok or what? And any polite critics are welcomed. The story is partially about me and some of it added. I began thinking about my ex while reading another story on here and i decided to try this out. Leave something? Thank you :]
Creative
 Created on 10-29-08
 Views(58)
 Story Rating G
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As of today, it's been three days since he ended the two and a half year relasionship with her. She's not seen of him, nor has she spoken to him since. The man she was completely in love with, the one she thought she would wake up to everyday for the rest of her life. Everytime she thought of him, it felt as if a needle were stabbing at her heart, slowly but painfully wounding her. Each night when she settled down into bed, as all the images of the day would pass through her mind, there was always the one image, his beautiful face. The icy blue eyes perfectly curved lips and well placed nose, along with his straight teeth that smiled back at her. And when he popped into her head, she did as she always does; she smiled, thought about the good times when he kissed her soft pink lips and told her he loved her. Thats were the good thoughts stopped and the new ones began. The ones where she realized it was over, and this time over for good. He had moved on, while she was falling off of cloud nine. She was falling fast, and being that she was up high, her heart would break like nothing else when she hit the ground. The one and only person that had found the way to her heart, had also found a way out, a painful one for her. The man had held her heart in his hand threw it in the dirt and walked away.
Noell starred and the screen of her LG Dare in aw, she had just received a text message from Paul, "Noell, they say it takes a couple seconds to say hello, but forever to say goodbye. In this case, it only take my fingers pressing down the seven leters to type it and the send key to give it to you. We're done hun."
She counldn't believe what her eyes were seeing, was he realing doing this or did one of his friends just take his phone and say that to screw with her? Of all the ways to do it, and even the time. He knew she was at work and Tuesday's were her slow days. Did he plan it out this way, the worst and most painfull possible way to do it? She felt her heart shatter then and there like a crystal glass falling on a tile floor.
The tears started to form and the pain began to sink in. And it began, a single tear fell and she dashed out of the Subway. Noell ran to her parked off blue mustang with her things in hand and got into the car. Once there she let the tears burst from her eyes. They burned her eyes and her contacts became blurry. She cried like she'd just lost everything. And that's just what she did lose. Paul was her everything, the love of her life. She had supossedly been the love of his, but the text he sent her proved other wise. Through out her crying she managed to delete any trace of him off of her phone.
After crying for what felt like a couple of minutes but was really a half an hour she heard the clashing of someones knuckles against her window. She wiped her eyes the best she could and rolled down the window.
"Hey, sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could help me jump start my truck. I was on the way to the shop but the battery just gave out and yeah I'm sure you don't want the story, but what do you say?" the man asked.
Noell looked into his eyes and finally responded,"Yeah, gladly" she responded putting on her best smile, she knew she looked bad with puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks.
"Gee, thanks. You're a life savor, I'm running so late," he stuck his hand out,"names Gabriel."
She put hers out and smiled again,"And I'm Noell, nice to meet you."
"My trucks over there so just drive on over there if you will." Noell noticed he had a southern accent and smiled to herself as she started up her engine and headed over to Gabriel's truck. She parked her car turned it off got out and walked over to him.
"Wow it got cold fast," she said while shivering.
"Well yeah, I think you would get a little chilly wearing that." He chuckled and Noell smiled.
"Yeah I guess that may be why, but it's just really cold no matter what your wearing this time of year."
Gabriel took off the jacket he had been wearing and put it around Noell's shoulders. She blushed and thanked him.
"So I think we she hurry up and do this so you don't freeze. I'll go get my jumper cables." Noell was so preoccupied with Gabriel that her thoughts never drifted back to Paul.
They got his car running and got out of their cars to get the cables. Once they were put away Gabriel came back to thank Noell one last time.
"Well Noell, you've been a huge help, thank you so much. I should get going before the battery gives out again. But before you go, I have a question for you."
Comments
Please Login to post comments| On November 1st 2008 atavanhalen Said : | |
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Its good. I agree with everyone else, it just needs little things done to it like grammar and word arrangements, but other than that, not too shabby! |
| On October 30th 2008 analyssarenae Said : | |
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Really good job!It's gonna be cute, all you can work on is spelling and grammar and the way you word things sometimes. Great job and I'm subscribing! |
| On October 29th 2008 jirrith2007 Said : | |
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I think that this is going to be a cute story :D The word through out is actually one word... like throughout, and the line "her parked off blue mustang " just sounded kind of awkward. All in all, it was a good story. And you don't need that big of spaces between the paragraphs either. |
