Created By

saddenedsoul

Rate this Story

Embed

I was awoken Sunday morning by a strange feeling in my stomach. I wasn't hungover and from what I could tell, I wasn't sick. It was guilt. As I started to awake and fully comprehend my surroundings, flashes from last night circles through my eyelids.

I remembered me pinning Mike down against my bed. Kissing him for what seemed the whole night. I remembered how I could think of nothing else but him, and what I wanted to do to him; to try. I cringed as I remembered what happened next; when Mike asked if I had any lube.

"Why?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I'm not a girl Xen, you can't just get in there guns blazing"

What happened from there on made me physically sick. But not because of what happened, but because of what could happen. What would Mike think? What does he expect now? I told him it was a one off thing, but what if he didn't hear? What if someone found out?

All of this fluttered through my mind before I became fully concious. I slowly opened my eyes, it seems late in the morning. We'd slept well, at least. Finally, I turned over to where I knew Mike was laying, hoping he was still asleep. I couldn't face him yet.

He was still asleep. I sat up and watched as he slept. He was tall, about my height and had short, dark hair. He had plain, brown eyes but an amazing smile that lit up his whole face and whatever room he happened to be in. But most of all, he was my friend, and I'd fucked it up, literally.

I didn't have much time to myself as he awoke a few minutes after I had. He seemed to be waking from the most pleasant dream. Or just sweet memories from last night. He finally opened his eyes and they quickly focused onto my face. He smiled.

"Good morning"

"Hey Mike... did you sleep well?" I couldn't think of anything else. Were we going to talk about it?

"Amazingly, you?" he asked, still with a smug grin on his face.

"Yeah, better than I thought I would," I looked away as I said it, over to the window.

"I'm not going to tell anyone about it," he said assuringly. His face was serious once more. Mike was very perceptive, he could tell I was confused. Annoyed. Frustrated. Scared.

I couldn't say anything back. I just nodded and looked back at him.

"And don't worry about what I'm going to think about all this. I promise I'm not in love with you. Though you are fucking hot," he said it casually, as though commenting on the shirt I was wearing. He was obviously trying to cheer me up, and it kinda worked.

"Well, I'm glad. Because despite what happened last night, Mike... I'm not gay, or bi or anything like that." I could even tell I sounded desperate. For him to understand at least.

"I know. I do, and it's ok. Last night was great and I know you liked it to deep down, so don't regret it. It was a one off thing and I'm glad I was there for it." he was smiling again. "Now, I don't want to seem like I was using you for the sex, but I really gotta get home." He laughed at himself and I couldn't help but laugh too.

"See you around Mike"

He patted me on the head as I layed back down and watched him quickly put his shirt and jeans back on. I couldn't help but laugh at the whole situation, what was going on? What had this small town down to me?

I layed in my bed for about another half an hour. Thinking about everything. Would Mike and I still be friends? He seemed ok, I'd talk to him some other time. Would he tell anyone? My stomach churned. He said he wouldn't, and I believed him. But... what if he did? I decided to ignore that question for now.

I thought back to last night again. I was trying to be ok with it all, like I was whenever I had hooked up with any other person. Any other girl at least. I could hardly remember all the details, my mind was consumed with desire. Wait... something had just clicked in my brain. I ran over to my desk where I had put my wallet and pulled out the condom that was still in there. Shit.

A new wave of panic consumed me. Surely Mike wouldn't have anything... Surely not. But I was freaked out, my already shattered nerved were now well an truly gone. I lunged at my mobile and called him. The dial tone seemed to go on for ages.

"Is this a follow up call?" he asked in mock surprise.

I couldn't hold myself back, "You don't have aids do you? Syphilis? Chlamydia? Mike!?"

He was laughing. "Relax Xen. I'm a virgin. Well I was. Anyway, I really gotta go, I'm at work, I shouldn't be on the phone at all."

This did little to qualm the panic inside me, but it did enough to let me go shower and eat breakfast. I went about my day as I usually would, I didn't think of last night and when I accidently allowed myself to dwell on those hours with Mike, the pang of guilt subsided each time.

As I went to bed that night the fear returned. How was everything going to go down at school tomorrow?