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The Daywalker pt.1

The Daywalker pt.1

Authors Comments: a remake of my original one please comment and please don't leave negative comments
Tragedy Created on 11-10-08 Views(69) Story Rating PG13

Hello i am a vampyre my name is Vlad i was named after our leader Dracula.I am the last of my kind and i vow to avenge my kind i can walk in the daylight like a human I am also far more powerful.My fellow vampyres were killed by humans and werewolves.

Day 1 the beginning: it's been 3 months since my kind has died off. I am about to starve, non-human blood can't satisfy my thirst, but if the humans find out about me they'll know one more of us is still alive so I have to drink the blood of about 5 cows so not to kill off entire farms. The humans don't know about me as I said before but there suspicion is rising i don't know how i can survive much longer. I am scared because the humans are advancing in technology.I just might have to start drinking the blood of humans but i can't if i want the humans suspicion to lower, but tonight i will drink the blood of a human because I just might die if i don't.

Night of day 1: I am stalking prey that i will feast upon. She seems unimportant enough to cause a panic, so i shall feast on her i will use my enhanced hearing to warn me if anyone is coming. i hear no one so i swoop down, grab her, and cover her mouth so she can't scream. I viciously bite into her neck and drain her dry of all her blood once she dies I will take her back to my hiding place and wait for her to be unborn, to walk among the shadows with me as, i seek more humans to feast upon. Tomorrow I will have created one more of my kind.

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On January 5th 2009 Naomychan Said :
Naomychan well i think its really interesting. ^_^ i liked it.
On November 11th 2008 barbarian1 Said :
barbarian1 its ok, it has potential at least, mostly its just what servantofall said more detail, (not necerally more detail on what a vampire can do, but more of the little things, like weather or not it was cloudy or weather or not there was grass growing, that kind of thing)
On November 10th 2008 servantofall36 Said :
servantofall36 This is very interesting, friend. The thing I think could use improvement would be your grammar. You do well with the flow, but could use a bit more detail, so that the reader could be a bit more swept away. Flesh it out a bit, and you will have a fine story.
On November 10th 2008 rstegbauer Said :
rstegbauer i have vampire after the original spelling vampyre.