so it be part 3!!!!!!

My blood still trickled, this was my best cut ever, all my emotions had spilled out and were dripping onto my skin and bed. Each drop was a feeling that I wasn’t willing to keep inside of me.

I laid in my bed, slowly falling asleep.

“Alle! Let me in right now!” oh crap. Mom. What does she want now? I cleaned up what was left of my blood and put on a big pajama shirt.

“What mom?”

“I’ve been calling you for the past ten minutes, were gonna be late for church If you don’t hurry up”

“Oh mom! Please can I stay home you know I don’t feel well” I begged her

“Ok but don’t get in any trouble, we’ll be back around 4 ok honey”

“Yes mom” I looked at the clock it was only 10, what was I going to do for 6 hours. I hoped in the shower and washed away the blood from the previous night. I made sure that I put on a shirt this time, my long sleeved AFI shirt would do for now. I ran down all 17 steps to the kitchen and put some bread in the toaster. Picking up the phone, I called grey.

“uhh… Hello?”

“hey grey its me, wanna come over”

“ your not going to church?”

“no, are you gonna come over or not?”

“ya ill be there in a sec” the toast popped out and I grabbed the butter and a knife out of the drawer. It gleamed to me. The sharp edges and slick metal.

“hey Alle! You in here” I dropped the knife in the butter

“ya i’m in the kitchen, come on in”

“so how long you gonna be alone this time?” grey said while putting more bread in the toaster

“umm… Only… 6 hours this time”

“wow! that’s it,” we both laughed

“so what you wanna do today” I chomped down on a piece of toast slobbered with butter

“I wanna talk about last night” my skin was getting hot, why did he have to bring it up again

“ya umm… About last night”

“I wasn’t joking Alle, I love you, I’ve just never had the guts to tell you, but now that I see what your doing, if it’s because of me. I will gladly leave and never come back”

“no!” I couldn’t stop my self from yelling, “I never wanted you to leave. I love you” had I just really said that aloud? This was just like that night; I was embarrassed, my body wanted to reject all of these feelings, In a bloody form. I crumbled into a ball and cried. Grey was grinning from ear to ear

“I’ve been waiting so long for you to say that” he picked me up off the floor and hugged me. I could have never been happier. Yet my blood was so mad at me. Thoughts raced threw my head. will you still cut?, well why not? because you have grey. I was having an argument with myself. never again. Never again will I cut, not as long as a have grey

I stopped crying and grey held me in his arms. He carried me off to the couch and laid me down. He laid down right beside me and held me for hours.

“I want you to know something” he was talking in a serious tone

“what I asked” praying it wasn’t what I was thinking

“I have a girlfriend” my heart sunk, my blood ripped threw me, each drop screaming LET ME OUT! look now, you don’t have him anymore. Shut up! can we cut again?

“but you love me!” I screamed

“yes I love you, but…