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i'm in love with my best friend part one
Romance
 Created on 11-21-07
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 Story Rating G
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it was the first day of school well the first whole day. i was in gym class. i didn't know who this people were i hardly knew them no one had come up to talk to me untill that one day in class. i was sitting alone waiting gym class to start.
"hi" said a boy sitting by me with light brown hair cut in skater style his teeth perfectly alined he looked so cute.
"hi" i said
"whats your name"he asked me
"my name is rose whats yours"i asked
"my name is emilio nice to meet you"he said
"don't you live at 245 no picardy"he asked
"yeah thats my house"i said
"i live just across the street" he said
"really"i asked
"yeah we're going to be good friends"he said
"yeah"i said
than gym class started and i was so happy i had just made my first friend today and i had a little crush on him too.
hey this is a true story it actually happened i just changed the names of the people. plz rate and comment
Comments
Please Login to post comments| On June 10th 2008 yeaitzJess Said : | |
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he would be on my mind like 24/7 |
| On December 20th 2007 kgrf101 Said : | |
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:) |
| On December 4th 2007 ha7 Said : | |
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this is cute |
| On December 1st 2007 QueenOfAshwood Said : | |
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Hey. It's a pretty good story, and it's great that its true, cause your able to use raw emotions. But, why aren't you? You aren't describing the event in full detail, nor the people without being too amateurish or quick. Please remember to make all of your i's written as I's. It's MUCH better. And when you quote, you need to say who it is, add depth, add character. "I live right across the street," Emilio said to me, smiling softly. I just starred into his _insert eye color_ colored eyes, later realizing I was falling for him. "R-really?" I stuttered slightly.....see, that's a more indepth in character version of how you could/should write to be taken more seriously. The way I described it may not be what really happened or was felt, but, use the emotions you know where there. Add CHARACTER. You can only make it better from here on, truthfully...well, I hope so...
I hope I don't come off rude, I just really wish to help. If you have ANY questions, just contact me, okay? |
| On November 29th 2007 pellagirl933 Said : | |
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this is good! |
| On November 29th 2007 cashy31196 Said : | |
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wow...! |
| On November 29th 2007 Harumi13 Said : | |
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THAT IS SOOO AWSOMELY CUTE!! |
| On November 29th 2007 kg108551 Said : | |
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cute, way cool! |
| On November 26th 2007 iluvcountry90 Said : | |
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WoW! This is neat 4 a true event! Awesome so far... |
| On November 23rd 2007 kelkel234 Said : | |
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thats cute so far.....keep me posted |
| On November 23rd 2007 hayleyswiger14 Said : | |
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nice story....keep it up.... |
| On November 23rd 2007 Violetlily Said : | |
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hey, awsome. keep me posted. |
| On November 21st 2007 dsouthernlily Said : | |
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aww |
| On November 21st 2007 loveXafterXall Said : | |
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I like it so far...keep me posted? |
| On November 21st 2007 piratesrule78 Said : | |
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plz rate and comment |
