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Party 'Til You Puke! |
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Party 'Til You Puke!
Party
 Created on 9-3-07
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 Story Rating G
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Vomitous VixenHow many of you have ever heard the line “Party til you puke, rinse out your hair, then party some more?” Sure, I thought you had. Well out of the hands that are raised, how many of you actually accomplished such a daring deed? Where did all the hands go? Let me introduce to you a person who could very well be the Poster Child of that raucous banner, except for the insignificant fact that this was no child. Responding to a 911 call, a couple of EMTs found a room with a few people holding a smallish “after party, party.” 911 was dialed by someone other than the patient because the patient, it was quickly learned, could not have found the digits 9 or 1 on a phone if they were the only digits present. Scene assessment quickly revealed what was going on. Two beds, a desk, TV, lamp, all the usual things found in such accommodations. Something though, what could it be, there was just something out of place here. Oh, yeah, VOMIT, A big puddle on one of the beds and on the carpet next to it. The non-patient cast members in this little sitcom indicated the bathroom as the place most likely to find the vomitous vixen. As one of the ambulance dudes opened the bathroom door a fragrance assaulted every olfactory function at his disposal. You know the smell, that wonderful blend of bile, belly fluids and booze. That musky scent exuded as an aphrodisiac to members of the opposite sex saying, “Let’s get married, settle down, have kids and buy a minivan!” Ok, so it stunk to high heaven alright! The EMT looked past the thick odor to find a person of the female persuasion wallowing in the bathtub. Assessing the gender of the patient couldn’t have been too difficult judging by the panties which were all that was worn by the wallower.Wallower? Ted, you keep using the term “wallow” in this saga, why do you choose that word? That is simple; I use the word “wallow” because that’s how the patient was apparently found. Our heroes found her in a tub, wearing only panties, wallowing in of her own vomit which had transferred itself from her belly in sufficient volume to coat the entire bottom of the tub quite thickly. <Author’s Note> I have taken the liberty of relating this story several times. In almost every instance someone has inquired of whether this patient was attractive or not. My answer came originally from one of the EMTs on scene, and I am prepared to share that same answer with you. “I am sure that she cleans up pretty well, but I don’t care what kind of a knock-out you were, or what kind you will be again, No One Looks Good While Wallowing in their own (or anyone else’s) Vomit!”
Does that cover it well enough? Hopefully it covers your curiosity at least as well as the vomit covered the patient
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