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testimony of my life
NonFiction
 Created on 1-2-07
 Views(56)
 Story Rating G
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i've been in church since i was two... i never really realized my dad wasn't around becuase i had so many other people who cared about me. at church i was always the star in the church play. and i loved it! but all i was doing was playing church.
then when i was about 13 i thought i was in love.... and no matter how many times he broke me heart i forgave him, but after 3 yrs of this, i had the final blow. he told me his new g/f was pregnant and they were getting married. i locked myself in my room, just me and the razor... i was set on it, but the first cut hurt more than the heart break and i put it down.
The summer i was 13 i went to a christian camp and the messeges all week sentered on. forgiveness and love(1 corinthians 13), and i'll never forget it. that was the week i realized that i had been letting my father's leaving me disrupt my WHOLE life. i was scared to date because i didn't want the guy to leave me. and that whole 'girls date guys like their father' crap.. it's true, i kept chasing after the one guy that did keep leavin me. that week was also the week i realized that i had been playing church.
i went to the alter and first forgave my dad. then asked for forgiveness for myself. and at that moment... i felt 13 years of loneliness, torture, pain, suffering, and hatred leave me. and i decided to stop playing church.
After that i was determined to be all God had called me to be.... and i was doing pretty well till last yr, when my dad walked back into my life. i was so happy to see him. but once again he left me disapointed and alone. the day he was supposed to pick me up for my birthday... he went out and spent his whole pay check on drugs. it crushed me, that drugs were more important to my father than i was. and if HE didn't want me... how could anyone else... so i went to the bethroom. filled the tub with water and laid face down. i should have died, but for some reason i didn't.
i had stopped goin to youth group because i felt so out of place... i mean i belonged... on the ouside. EVERYONE saw this happy, perky, perfectly content Angelique. but NO ONE knew that on the inside i was dying. that i was depressed, that i was suicidal. But after three months of not goin.. i just went one day, no particular reason. i had nothing to do & i decided i would go.
In God's plan there's no such thing as "just so happened". we were doing praise and worship... and i was singing... and out of no where i heard a voice say to me.. "you are a leader, i want you to lead my youth to me". i broke down in tears because at that moment GOD HIMSELF had proclaimed my future. I AM TO BE A YOUTH PASTOR!!!
the moment i said "yes i will do that for YOU". my life became a spiritual battle. Satan wants soooo badly to throw me of the path. to try to steal another soul from God. it's a stuggle, but i am more than willing to fight it knowing God is on my side!!!
Comments
Please Login to post comments| On January 3rd 2007 MickFaceless Said : | |
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wow... thats awesome..glad 2 have ya in the fam. |
