Daddy Please 14

As I stood in the dim light of the moon with my hand on a knife in my father’s throat, the only thing I could think of was “im just like him”. Really, there was no..”omg I killed my father!” or “my father is dead!” or even “what if I get caught?” it was all “im JUST like HIM.”

I felt a certain tingle in the back of my nose, and my eyes started to mist with unwanted tears. I didn’t want to be a killer. All my life I had watched the horrid stories on the news. Of a mother killing her children. Or someone getting shot because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. I had pitied those people who died and hated those people who’d killed. I KNEW I would never murder a soul as long as I lived. Until now. Necessary as it was, there was no excuse for taking the life of someone. Especially one you love. Yes, Even though my father was a cold hearted monster with apparently no conscious, I still had affection and love for him.

I felt Brian’s hands grappling at the hilt of the knife, and I snapped out of my daze. The woman was gone, to where I have no idea. And I really don’t care.

His calloused fingers slipped over my wind chilled ones with barely any force. Deffinately not enough to pry my fingers away from it. As I looked into my father’s eyes one last time, I was scarcely aware of the blood covering my hand, creeping up my arm, and splattered all over my feet. Probably, I couldn’t tell, all over my clothes also.

His lips were moving. I stared at them and tried to make-out his silent message. I couldn’t catch but one word. One simple word. Sorry.

That said, Brian lost all signs of life, and I found myself supporting his heavy body. It dragged me to the ground, and I shifted so his head was in my lap. I placed the tainted knife beside of me and stared down at his lifeless blue eyes and ran my hands through his still thick brown hair. My eyes were still filled with unshed sorrow, but I couldn’t bring myself to cry.

“Daddy?” I asked. He can’t be dead. No. I couldn’t have killed my very own father. No matter how undeserving of his life he might have been, it didn’t justify my actions. So, he is NOT dead.

“DADDY!” I screamed. “DADDY PLEASE!!!”

Everything went black.

I woke up just as I was about to be pulled into everlasting sleep, meaning, I was about to die. In my dream, anyways. I bolted up and realized that I was in an unfamiliar place. The sheets were a hunter green and the walls were white. There wasn’t many signs of living in here, and it was pretty plain. A nightstand, dresser, and t.v were the only things dawning the room. There was one window with the shades drawn tightly over it, making the room very dark. Where was I?? And what time was it?! I pushed the comforter off of me wearily, and glanced at the brightly lit alarm clock resting on the nightstand. 5:35 p.m. What the hell?! I’ve been asleep for that long?!

I groaned and slammed myself back on the bed. What had happened to my father’s body?! Who brought me here?! I MISSED SCHOOL! So many things were running through my mind, I didn’t hear the squeak of the door opening, and the muffled click of it shutting. But I DID hear the footsteps. I shot up once again and gripped the sheets with force.

“Hey. It’s only me.” I instantly release the sheets and my raging nerves calmed. His voice is practically my savior lately.

I felt the bed dip in as he sat down, and I lifted the comforter in silent invitation. He took it, and I curled up into his side, his arm curling around my shoulders. I could feel the comforter against my legs and thighs. I had nothing on but my bra and underwear. Any other time I would have freaked. But right now, I didn’t care. I just wanted to stay in the warmth and comfort of Nell forever.

Listen to his sweet murmurs of comfort and smell the scent of whatever dreamy cologne he was wearing. He smelled GOOD.

I buried my head in the hollow of his neck and just breathed him in.

After a while, I broke the silence.

“Nell, where are we?” I mumbled into his neck.

“My apartment.” He replied. “I left your dad’s body there, but I took the knife.” He pointed to the night stand, and I saw the now clean knife laying upon it. “ The cops won’t find it. I carried you to your house, then drove my car here. We won’t get caught. The only thing I’m slightly worried about is the women. But, I don’t think she’ll be telling on you seeing as how you saved her life.” He kissed the top of my head gently.

“Thank you.” I said. And then silence. What was my mother and sister going to think? They had no idea what my father’s past time had been. They still thought he was the same old Brian. Well, my mother did anyway. I never did confide in her how dad had changed. Neither did Dequin. But even though Dequin had seen the changes, she hadn’t known what he was. A serial killer. And now, I was turning out just like him.

At the thought, I started crying for what must have been the 5^th time in 3 days. “I’m just like him Nell. I don’t want to be, but I’m JUST like him!” I

I felt him lift me gently away from him, and as he stroked my tear stained face, he looked me in the eye. “You are NOTHING like him. You care enough about innocent people to eliminate the problem no matter what the cost might have been. Your father was a sick man. He killed for the thrill. You will NEVER ever think that way.” He soothed.

I closed my eyes to lock away his features at that one moment forever. The look of love, awe, and cherish on his face.

“Ayzolenn, I know it’s only been three days, but I love you. Everything about you.” As he leaned in to kiss me, I stopped him.

“Nell, I love you too. But there’s one thing you must understand. I’m JUST like my father. The thrill of killing him was……amazing. And the fact that I cared for him….it just….added to it. Added to the ecstasy of knowing you’re the last person to be seen by the one that dies in your arms.” I pulled out of his grasp and reached over the clock, and once again grasped the knife.

“I love you. I always will.” He didn’t even try to stop me. Just stared at me with horror and dread in his beautiful eyes. For the second time, I got to hear the last words of an innocent life. “I love you.” And then with one slash to the throat, he was gone.

Even knowing what I was, and how I felt after murdering my dad, he still loved me. The power. The power of having so many lives on your hands. I now know what my dad felt. I was just like him. And I love it.