100 Ways to Know you are a Dork by Elizabeth S.

100 ways to know you are a dork by Elizabeth S.

1. If you are a whale's penis
2. If you are actually going to read all of this.
3. If you ever put a bag of popcorn in the oven at 360 degrees.
4. If you listen to Savage Garden, N'Sync, or Backstreet Boys
5. If you speak or write in 1337.
6. If you ever gotten violated by a lizard.
7. If you made up your own words with their own meanings.
8. If you have rode a couch down the street.
9. If you bought a soda just to smash it or throw it at someone.
10. If you have fought with swimming noodles in public.
11. If you listen to Weird Al and know all the songs he bases his songs after.
12. If you burst into singing Disney songs from movies.
13. If you just burst into song, hum, or tune randomly.
14. If you fall once on accident, and because one of your friends missed it, you fall again.
15. If you try to Roundhouse Kick someone in front of you, and fall flat on your butt right in front of your target.
16. If you consider "It's the End of the World as We Know It" a romantic song.
17. If you have ever bopped a person on the head with an alien balloon or some other balloon.
18. If you ever stayed up all night and swore you saw the ring girl standing in the hallway.
19. If you ever fed raccoons, on top of the roof, bologna, with spheres.
20. If you ever stole traffic cones, barricades, or parking/street signs for a collection or decoration. (Major props to those that stole barricades.)
21. If you ever burst into playing DDr when there'd no music or a DDr mat around you.
22. If you have ever flushed your phone down the toilet.
23. If you brought a microwave home, just to smash it.
24. If you ever split hot fudge down your pants on accident, or on purpose.
25. If you ever danced on a table in the cafeteria.
26. If you ever threw a dart and missed the board, and it landed someplace else, but you left it there because you thought it looked cool.
27. If you ever moved lawn gnomes on purpose, from one lawn to the next.
28. If you ever put a picnic table in the middle of the road.
29. If you read manga or graphic novels.
30. If you have ever cosplayed or plan on cosplaying.
31. If you play or have played Dungeons and Dragons (D&D).
32. If you know what Kel says about orange soda.
33. If you can recite the whole cheer in Bring It On.
34. If you know the meaning and where the phrase, "The Cake is a Lie." comes from.
35. If you can quote a whole episode of a T.V. show or movie.
36. If you speak in abbreviation, like lol or wtf, in a normal everday conversation.
37. If you grab as much food off the plate you were eating off of as possible, as the waitress is taking your plate away.
38. If you have ever introduced yourself by slapping someone with a dildo.
39. If you have ever introduced yourself by opening someone's eye wider and looked at the eye.
40. If you ever thought you found Atlants in Kenosha, WI.
41. If you make a chomping noise while you eat, like "Omp."
42. If you gave light switches to someone for their birthday.
43. If you have ever said Oprah instaed of Opa.
44. If you ever have said Mufasa to scare someone.
45. If you whistle Star Wars or Zelda theme songs.
46. If you have stuck poles up and through chickens and enjoyed it.
47. If you have ever made frozen chickens dance, even if there is no music playing.
48. If you have googled teh meaning of Red Wing, or now are because I mentioned it.
49. If you have thrown soemthing from your fridge across the street, just to see if you'd make it.
50. If you have ever chased ducks, geese, or seagulls.
51. If you fight with swords in the cold.
52. If you have helped someone do a flip by lifting them and making them do the moves for a flip.
53. If you have ever wanted to join the circus or become a clown
54. If you have ever wanted an elephant as a pet and could keep him in the backyard.
55. If you now sway your head back and forth to Beach Boys or the song War.
56. If you like Mika.
57. If you dance randomly, with or without music.
58. If you have ever kissed a yellow box with a face drawn on it.
59. If you ever kissed a tree that looked like it had a face on it.
60. If you have ever rode your bike off playground equipment.
61. If you put your vehicle in reverse, instead of park, and you get out of the car.
62. If you don't have a spot to sit, or it seems that your normal spot is missing, you just plop down and sit right there, even if there is another open spot.
63. If you never realized you brokw a bone until you looked down at it.
64. If you have randomly started skipping in public while singing, "We're off to see the Wizard"
65. If you have counted all the tiles on the ceiling.
66. If you reference almost anything to Star Wars or Star Trek.
67. If you play Magic the Gathering.
68. If you own a punching bag and sometimes use it as a chair.
69. If you just laughed because it said 69. (Pervert.)
70. If you ask random people random questions, like "Do you like taking dumps?"
71. If you have made up your own high five, wave, or handshake.
72. If you bring pets home without asking.
73. If you spaz if you win something like a cooler, anything below $5 on a scratchoff, etc.
74. If you prefer eating cookie dough or brownie mix, compared to the actual things.
75. If you have ever shot silly string randomly at people.
76. If you ever wave and shout hello at passing cars.
77. If you do the hand jive at least once a day.
78. If everytime you go out to eat, people say they can't take you anywhere.
79. If you put your change in the water at a restaurant becaue you were flinging it in the cups, and leave it as a tip.
80. If you have drank a mixed drink of all the equal, all the sugar packets, salt, pepper, and soda from your table.
81. If you have played four-square on a balcony.
82. If you have ever ate dog food.
83. If you ate grass because you were tol dit was healthy.
84. If you haev ever made a fort in a tree or at home.
85. If you use to go camping in your backyard.
86. If you ever were a mallrat.
87. If you have ever gone around a public place in a costume.
88. If you go on a field trip about history and come back with a newt or a fish.
89. If you always carry a hermonica with you to burst out in tune.
90. If you plan on getting the kool-aid man tattooed on your butt with your best friend, saying "Oh yeah".
91. If you have thrown your phone at the window or wall because you were pissed or wanted to wake someone up.
92. If you have ever danced to the Final Countdown in public.
93. If you have a salt fight with someone.
94. If you know what Checkball is.
95. If you have made up your own dance, because you are that cool.
96. If you bring a camera with you everywhere, just to catch the experience.
97. If you pose, even if there are absolutely no cameras around.
98. If you have made yourself into a superhero or super villian.
99. If you have read all of the ones up to now.
100. If you wrote "100 way to know you are a dork"