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Accidental Love [Chapter 21]
Romance
 Created on 12-20-07
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Chapter 20
Austin reached home after what seemed like an eternity. He hurled his book bag against the wall and yanked the refrigerator door open. He muttered incoherent things as he searched for Vitamin Water. Finally pulling out a Dragon fruit, he slammed the door shut and trudged upstairs.
Images of Logan and Sophie came flooding back. Austin felt like vomiting and dying.
He logged onto his computer and onto instant messenger only to find a box pop up. It was Sophie.
Sophie: Hi…
Austin didn’t reply, he just glared at the screen and decided to play along to see how long she would keep this game up for.
Austin: Hello.
Sophie: Austin… we need to talk.
Austin: Hah, thinking of breaking up with me, Sophie? Go ahead; you’ve already broken my heart.
Sophie paled as she read Austin’s message and her fingers hovered above the keys, she was at a loss of words.
Sophie typed slowly.
Sophie: What do you mean I’ve already broken your heart?
Austin scoffed to himself as he wrote furiously.
Austin: Don’t try to play it off, I saw you kissing your best friend. What happened? I wasn’t a good enough kisser for you?
Austin felt sarcastic, bitter, and bitchy. He had a right to be too.
Sophie: Austin, please, it was in the moment, I didn’t know what I was doing, believe me.
Austin: I don’t know who to believe anymore. Whatever. Be happy. I don’t care, we’re done.
Austin felt his heart crumble—what was left of it anyways.
He quickly signed off and pressed his face to his hands in a desperate plea to make everything in reality seem like a horrible nightmare.
He grabbed a notepad and began writing a letter to Sophie; it was better than talking to her face to face because he knew he would just end up storming out.
Dear Sophie,
I seem to have accepted the fact you love Logan more than me although, I’m not saying I’m not angry. I cannot begin to describe to you the anguish I felt when I saw him holding you. It broke me in more than one way, I felt as if I had lost myself again. I’m sorry for everything. Everything I can’t provide that Logan can. I’m not saying what you did was right because I do wish you had told me earlier but… what’s done, has been done. Love’s a funny thing, isn’t it? It makes you do things at the expense of another’s broken heart. If I hurt you so much, by being with me, you should’ve told me. I’m not going to cause any further pain and I just wanted to tell you I’m leaving. Leaving this world. This wretched life. And you. I can’t live my life alone without you. You broke a promise, remember, Sophie? You said you’d never break up with me. It’s okay though… I mean, promises are meant to be broken right? Ha-ha, it’s slowly turning 5 o’ clock as I am writing. Time sped so fast when I was with you.
Austin paused as he debated whether to tell her he loved her or not. Finally he decided he would. His eyes fled momentarily to the razor he had found in his room a couple of days earlier. Returning back to the letter, he finished writing,
I love you, Sophie. I always have, I do till this day, and I always will. They say love is the slowest form of suicide. And, I cannot agree more on that matter. Take care, Sophie, reach for the stars because you are one, and I’ll see you, hopefully not till another 50 years or so. Please don’t think about me, it’s not your fault, sweets, its mine. I couldn’t hang onto you.
Yours till the dead wakes,
Austin
Austin finished the letter and re-read it millions of times. For the first time, since the last couple of hours, he knew what he had to do. He folded the letter, placed it in an envelope and sealed it. He wrote Sophie’s name on top of it, in cursive.
He propped it up on his desk. He slowly turned around and saw the razor beckoning him, drawing him near.
Rescue is so near, he thought, dazed, as he advanced towards it.
Reaching for the blade, he held it so carefully as if it would break. The silver of the blade glistened. He slowly held it at a cutting position and drew it near his wrists.
Cutting deep, he made a slashing movement and he switched arms as he slit the other one.
Feeling free, his blood rushed out, finally finding solace.
I love you so much, he thought as his head pounded from the amount of blood loss.
He groaned and slumped on the floor. He felt light-headed and happy.
He wrote her name on the floor, with his sticky blood.
He heard the phone ring.
He stared blankly ahead as he counted the amount of rings.
The caller-id went off as it chanted, “Sophie,” over and over again.
Snapping out of his trance, he grinned weakly.
“Too late, sweetheart,” He said murmuring his last words.
Closing his eyes for the last time, before blacking out, he repeated, “It’s too late.”
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i dont even know what to say.
except poor, poor, poor austin.