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On a cold November Nite
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Sleeping peacefully, I woke up in the middle of the night by the cold winter breeze. Didn't have a blanket to satisfy my need for warmth. So I wonder around the house I am filled with a BIG family who loves me dear, yet felt so lonely and scared. Feeling my loneliness, I could not bare any longer.
While wondering around, something caught my eye. Slowly walking to pick up the gun and bullet to load it. Thinking of all my problems, feeling like theres no reason to live anymore, thinking no one loves or cares for me.
Found a spot to sit, feeling heartless for the ones that love me so dear. I sat for hours and hours, waiting, but waiting for what?! Kept telling myself, "look Marylola, its that simple, just pull the trigger." yet some parts of me was holding it back. Sitting for hours and hours, not sure if this is a dream. Finally, FINALLY!! I hear my dads footsteps coming from his room to mine.
He noticed I wasn't on my bed, so he turned his head and noticed me with a gun in my hand. The moment I seen him, tears ran down my cheeks like a rainfall shooting down to its destiny. OH! was it a joy to see him, me feeling like I'm free, free from the devil's presence.
My parents asked, "whats wrong, whats wrong?" I couldn't say anything but to cry it all out (at least for now I say). That morning, my parents told me I could have gone for worse than what I was going through...I felt better not so long ago and headed to school that morning.
***I am lucky to be alive, I didn't know Jesus that much back then but now I do. I am saved!! Are you? Suicide is scary, the truth is much worse, you go straight to hell. Even if you don't believe there is a Hell/Heaven, you will know someday, just not now. so please, dont commit suicide, it is not an answer or to get away from problems. thanks for reading this. K later!
Comments
| On January 18th 2008 lovelynatwolff Said : | |
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*tear* im so happy you're ok! *sobing* |
| On January 18th 2008 andersonhe Said : | |
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awesome
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