The dieing star and I

It was like a mosaic almost, dancing fragments of colours before my eyes. A nebula. I felt all the tension in my body disappear as my eyes watch this magnificent natural wonder shape itself.

It was strange, yet very relaxing and comforting just floating in the vacuum of space. People tend to think that its so intimidating, the spaciousness and the openness, but I find comfort in it; just sitting, floating, being dragged along by your ship. The journey back home from the edge of the solar system was comforting, going back through the familiar.

We’d left Earth to explore the universe, to explore Xiano our neighbouring galaxy. But we never made it past our solar system. The scientists back home didn’t count on the vacuum becoming stronger outside in the rest of this universe. Our ship was torn and we had to retreat, but everyone makes mistakes and it’s a lesson to learn from. Hopefully the next crew to be sent up will be better off than us.

You know, it took us nearly 12 years to reach the edge of the solar system, and its taken us 3 years to get back to where we are now, near Pluto. And during the short span of 3-4 years, most of our crew died. Only 7 of us are remaining… 2 men, 2 women and three of the kids, myself included in this count.

We started off with 22 people. 11 females, 11 males. 4 of them were children, 5, 6, 8, and 11 at the time of lift off. We were all so young, vibrant, happy, naïve even. We were all filled with the delusion that when we return (no doubt about returning home) that we’d all receive medals and certificates of acknowledgement and be known throughout the world and universe as human heroes.

However, that all end when the first 2 were killed. It was in the resting section of the ship. As we neared the line to the rest of the universe, the compartment began to tear. The weakest room in all our ship had been hit first. It was a man and a woman, sucked out the tear and into space. The next to go was the chief engineer and the youngest of the 4 kids.

We were all shaken by the event. But once the tear was fixed, we started back home. Most of us were still optimistic, despite the likelihood of the rest of us being taken.

I have laugh to myself, though, when I think about how long it took us to write our wills. It wasn’t until last year, right after the last member died. After that, we wrote them and sent them back home; hoping our families on earth would receive and honour them. None of us have any delusions anymore.

I see something from the corner of my eye, turning slowly to check what it is.

A star… A dieing star…

Back inside the ship was the rest of the crew, hopeful no other lunatics. I knew there were some who were meant to make it back, and I’m hoping it’s all of them. As for me, I would’ve been content to float here for eternity watching the stars die, giving new life to a nebula or black hole.

This one, whether it was turning into a nebula or black hole, it didn’t matter. I remained there watching it becoming smaller and redder, compressing more and more. I felt myself floating towards it. It’s so beautiful.

Just as it was about to change, I closed my eyes, letting myself get pulled to it.