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missmadisings

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            The next thing I knew my back was hitting the sand. My first thought was that I had failed. My second thought was how could I have failed? I was the only one awake, the only one so far out in the ocean, no one had even been looking for me.

            Fists pounded on my back, like they might a drum. Water gushed from my mouth, nose, eyes. I had been so close! So close! Whoever thought they were doing me a favor was sorely mistaken. I tried to turn my head to see who it was, but the water was just too much. It paralyzed me as it spewed from all of my openings.

            “Breathe, Sarah! Breathe!”

            Stupid Jeremy! I wanted to kill him for saving me. I also wanted to tell him that I couldn’t breathe because he was too busy getting all of the water out of my lungs for me to even have time to breathe. But I couldn’t do that either because, well, there was just too much water to talk. My eyes rolled back in my head as I felt the flow of water slowing down. I sucked in a breath and winced as it rubbed at my raw throat.

            “Jeremy, you idiot.” My heart jumped into my throat at his voice. It was Matt. Tears pricked at my eyes. He had called Jeremy an idiot. Jeremy, the one who had tried to save me, Matt had called him an idiot. I was right. Matt wanted me dead.

            “You should have called 911.” He continued and my fears were eased. Even if he didn’t want me, he wanted me alive. Not that it would matter in the end, but it was nice anyways.

            “Dude, she wasn’t breathing. If I had called them she would’ve died.” My heart ached for what could have been. Stupid, stupid Jeremy.

            “Besides, I didn’t see you calling them!”

            “I did moron, look.”

            It was then that I heard the sirens as the ambulance pulled into the beach parking lot. Ugh. Way to go Matt. I felt Jeremy holding me down, so I didn’t fight him. I was tired anyways. I closed my eyes and hoped that this was all just a dream. I hoped that I was really dead. It would save everyone a lot of pain later.

            I was aware of a very bright light. I hoped it was Heaven, if I deserved Heaven. I opened my eyes and as they adjusted I wanted to scream. I was in a hospital. Alive. Why did I never win?