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missmadisings

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            I pulled on my sweat pants and rolled them up to my knees. I didn’t bother with a shirt. It was better to wear a bikini than to have two wet spots over my boobs. I needed to think, to plan. Matt had no idea what I was planning. I wasn’t even sure that I had any idea. It had just come to me one night. It was not a special night, it was just another plain night where I was crying myself to sleep and Matt was out with some other girl and it just hit. It was like a huge explosive light bulb over my head. I was so sick and tired of being so upset about Matt. If I killed myself, I wouldn’t have to feel. I wouldn’t have to cry or put on a brave face or pretend anymore. I could just let it all go. I had been planning ever since. So far, I was not going to drown or hang myself. A bullet through the head or a slash of my artery seemed like a pretty good idea. They would be quick, only a little pain I hoped.

            “Sarah?” The voice startled me. I looked around.

            I was in my favorite coffee shop. I was sitting at the table Matt and I always sat at, and I had an almond steamer in front of me. I glanced down at my notebook. I had doodled little flower vines and tear drops had blurred the petals on most of them. I looked at the guy that had spoken to me.

            “Hey Jeremy.” I choked out.

            “What’s wrong?”

            “Oh it’s nothing.” I started doodling again. The chair across from me scraped as he sat down.

            “Something is obviously wrong.”

            I looked at him through my wet eyelashes. I was sure that I looked horrible, wet hair, no shirt, runny nose, red-rimmed eyes, crying in my coffee. Jeremy, on the other hand, looked perfect, as usual.

            “Matt’s new girlfriend just took me by surprise.”

            “I’m sorry.” He sounded generally upset that I was sad. Then he brightened, “I know something that’ll cheer you up.”

            I smiled in spite of myself. I loved surprises.

            “What is it?”

            “Don’t hurt me.” He cautioned. Then he was behind me, covering my eyes before I could make any movement or noise.

            He led me forward and out of the door. I shivered in the sudden cold. I hadn’t realized how late it was. The sun had already set. We walked until I could feel sand beneath my toes. I felt him raise his other arm to glance at his watch. He helped me sit down on a blanket.

            “Okay. Give it one more minute.” He whispered in my ear.

            “Can’t I see yet?” I whined half-heartedly.

            “And ruin everything?” He sounded aghast. “I think not Miss Sarah. It’s worth it, I promise.”

            We sat in silence. I loved being around Jeremy. He was probably my best friend next to Matt. He could always get me to smile when Matt did stupid things that made me cry. I was pulled back into the beach, where else could it be, by Jeremy’s whispering.

            “Five…four…three…two…one”

            He lowered his hand and I gasped in astonishment. It was a meteor shower. I loved meteor showers. Anything that had to do with stars and outer space had always fascinated me. I hadn’t known that Jeremy knew that. I wanted to turn around and thank him, but I couldn’t pull my eyes away from the sky.

            It lasted a full five minutes, the longest meteor shower I had ever seen, and I had seen a lot of meteor showers. When the sky was finally dark again I turn around to face him. He smiled at the crystalline joy in my eyes.

            “That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, Jer. How did you know?”

            He shrugged.

            “I figured that the stars in your eyes came from somewhere.”

            I cringed and laughed at his horrible pick-up line. I pushed him playfully. He pulled me close to his side and I rested my head on his shoulder. I yawned and closed my eyes, locking the picture of Matt and his current whore away in my Matt box. I was asleep within minutes.