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missmadisings

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I spent hours circling my neighborhood. The overcast sky eventually opened up and poured its tears out. I couldn’t help but feel like the weather understood my pain. Once I saw Becky come to the door. Tears were streaming down her face as she watched my car pass. Mom and Dad came up behind her and dragged her back inside. Becky didn’t go without a fight though. She screamed and kicked the entire time. I decided to leave the cul-de-sac after that.

I headed out into town. I passed house after house where the lights were lit and the fires were roaring. Typical late fall behavior for the town. I noticed that I was the only one out. It made me feel like an outsider.

The lights were up downtown. The rain distorted them, but I could see that they were there. It seemed like a million years ago that Jake and I were walking around underneath them. He had his arms wrapped around my slim waist and I was leaning into his chest. Every now and then he would stop and kiss me. He was sweet and tender. A mere echo of the Jacob today.

I found myself driving in the direction of Paul’s house. Before I knew it I was standing outside of that little brick house. The lights were on inside. I thought that I could hear Mrs. Numez puttering around the kitchen, fixing dinner. I saw my hand reach for the doorbell. The sound reverberated throughout the house. I heard the delicate footsteps as Mrs. Numez made her way to the door.

She opened the door and gasped.

“Emma! What are you doing here?”

“I-I m-my parents. And m-my dad and th-then he sa-said…”

Mrs. Numez gathered me into her tiny arms as I dropped my bags. My tears were streaming into her shirt as she smoothed my hair.

“There, there sweetie. You don’t have to say anything more.”

We stood there for what seemed like an eternity. She continued murmuring words of comfort until my tears dried. Then she held me out at arms length. She examined me, making sure I wasn’t harmed at all. I wanted to tell her that my outside would look fine. It was my inside that was destroyed. My outside never reflected my inside.

“Well, first things first, you need a shower. You’re soaking wet and shivering.”

It was only then that I realized how cold I really was. I followed her to the bathroom, though I knew where it was. I let her turn on the water. Paul poked his head out of his room and saw me. It looked like he was going to say something, but his mom shook her head and he disappeared back inside his room. Mrs. Numez closed the door and whipped off my wet clothes. She lead me to the shower and then left. A little while later I heard Thom arrive and question Paul. He said he didn’t know anything yet. They went into Paul’s room to wait for me.