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missmadisings

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Leaving

I am alone in my bed. I am bleeding and broken and oh so alone. I am crying. I let myself cry and cry for half an hour. I look at my clock. Three o’clock in the morning. I’m losing precious time.

I move off of my bed to my closet. I pull out clothing article after clothing article. I stuff them in my suitcase and my purse and my backpack. There is nothing left in the closet when I am done.

I put my PJs back on, wincing when they brush my cuts and bruises. I pad quietly down the hall into Jamie’s room.

He looks like a baby angel. Safe, asleep, perfect. Not violated.

I start to pack all of his things very quietly. He snuffles and turns over in his racecar bed. I easily carry everything down the stairs and into my car. Looks like those cheer muscles are paying off after all.

I shove it all in the trunk. I thank God that the car seat is still in the back of my car. I walk into the kitchen.

I open my lunch box. I know that Jamie will be hungry when he wakes up and I don’t remember how long it takes to get where we’re going. I throw all of his kid friendly snacks in the bag. I take it out to the car.

I go back to Jamie’s room. Nothing has changed since I left. I breathe a sigh of relief. I open another on of my purses. It’s the biggest one I have. I gather all of Jamie’s toys. Thrust them into the bag. Now I need Jamie.

He doesn’t even wake when I lift him up. He curls into my chest. Nuzzles his head into my neck. I don’t even stager from the weight.

I open the door. Look left. Look right. Dad’s door is shut. Silence. A blanket of silence.

I get to the car. I buckle Jamie into his car seat. He is still asleep. I brush the hair out of his eyes and kiss his forehead. He mumbles something barely distinguishable.

“I love you, Katie.”

“I love you too, Jamie. He’s never going to touch us ever again. Never.”

I lock the car doors. I slip inside and place my note on the kitchen counter.

I get in the driver’s seat. Lock the doors again. The garage door seems to welcome my escape. It doesn’t make a noise while lifting. I gently ease out of the driveway.

The streets are empty. I floor it, not even caring if I get pulled over. I just want to put as much distance between us and that monster as possible. I keep the pressure on the gas pedal until the sun comes up.

I am three hours away traveling at the speed of 100. I slow it down to the speed limit. Dad will never come after us. He will never touch me ever again. Never.