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8
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Two Months [1] |
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15
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Two Months [Intro/Tester] |
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12
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Unseen [Chapter 4] |
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9
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Unseen [Chapter 3] |
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9
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Unseen [Chapter 2] |
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12
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Unseen [Chapter 1] |
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4
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Fences |
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29
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It's Yours [Chapter 26] |
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17
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I Never Saw Him Coming |
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24
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I Loved Him. [Chapter 4] |
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24
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I Loved Him. [Chapter 3] |
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16
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The Letter |
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30
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I Loved Him. [Chapter 2] |
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25
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It's Yours [Chapter 25] |
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28
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I Loved Him. [Chapter 1] |
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20
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I Loved Him. |
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26
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It's Yours [Chapter 24] |
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10
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Dark Blue: A Romeo and Juliet Story [Chapter 3] |
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21
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It's Yours [Chapter 23] |
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10
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Dark Blue: A Romeo and Juliet Story [Chapter 2] |
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Crash [Chapter 14]
Tragedy
 Created on 8-31-08
 Views(100)
 Story Rating PG13
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Confrontation
I need to find a place to think. My mind drifts to scenes of Mom and how she would always sit with me on the porch swing when I couldn’t sleep. I start to wander towards the door without thinking.
I make it down the stairs and into the living room without seeing anyone. If I can just get across the room I can get to the porch. I round a corner. My hopes of a quiet escape burn in front of my eyes. Dad is sitting in his recliner.
I try to turn around and go back upstairs.
“Kate?”
Too late. He saw me. I turn back around to face him.
“Hey Dad. I thought you would be entertaining Lydia. That seems to be your favorite thing to do now a days.”
“I thought you would be asleep by now.”
“I couldn’t sleep. I had a nightmare.”
Dad doesn’t seem to register that the nightmare was about him.
“You’re not sneaking out are you?”
If only. “I was going to sit on the porch swing.”
“Huh. Why does that seem so familiar?”
I hate him. I really do.
“Mom used to do it when she was upset.”
Silence.
“How can you stand it?”
“How can I stand what?”
Stand hurting me. Stand shredding my childhood. Stand destroying me.
“How can you stand knowing you killed Mom.”
Sigh.
“I didn’t kill your mother, Kate. As much as you would like to blame me you can’t. I didn’t shove the pills in her mouth or pour the booze down her throat. She did that to herself, Kate.”
“If it weren’t for your little sex toy she would have never had a reason to do it! She never would have killed herself if you had never had the affair!!”
Shrug. I don’t believe he has a heart. He wouldn’t be so emotionless if he did.
“It was her decision, Kate. You have to deal with that.”
“Why did you do it, Dad? Why did you sleep with Lydia? Didn’t you know that Mom would find out? Didn’t you know that it would ruin our family?”
“Sometimes feelings change. Sometimes you think you love one person, and it turns out that you actually love someone else. Believe me, Kate, I never meant for you or Jamie or your mother to get hurt. I just needed to do what was best for me.”
What was best for him?!? Was raping me what was best for him?!?
“But you swore an oath! You took vows! Until death do us part, Dad! Mom wasn’t dead when you had your affair!! She wouldn’t even be dead if you had just kept it in your pants!!”
“Kate, sweetie, feelings are irrational. You need to understand that.”
I shudder internally. The last time he called me sweetie I was ten. The last time he called me sweetie I was being suffocated with a pillow while he ripped my soul apart. The last time he called me sweetie he was raping me.
“Don’t you dare call me sweetie!! I don’t understand, Dad. I don’t understand how you can touch her, and hold her, and kiss her, and sleep with her, and love her. She’s the reason my mom is gone!! She’s the reason that I don’t get to come home to cookies and lavender smelling soap!”
Dad is trying to interrupt me. There isn’t a horrible enough word to describe my feelings for him.
“No, Dad! You need to just sit there and listen for a moment! You don’t have to deal with it! You don’t have to deal with the counselors. You don’t have to go to school every single God damn day and know that people are starring at you, pity in their eyes. You don’t have to ignore the whispers and the rumors.
No. Not you! You get to look at her. You get to swear to her everything you couldn’t give to Mom. You get everything!!! Me and Jamie?!? We get nothing. Do you realize what this is doing to him?!? Do you realize that every single time he looks at me I have to hear him ask where Mommy is, and when she’s coming home? How the hell am I supposed to explain to a five-year-old that his mom is never coming back? That his Dad and his mistress drove her to her death?
You may not have held the pills, or poured the booze, but if you had just remembered that you had a family before screwing Lydia, Mom would have never had a reason to kill herself. And you know what? I will never forgive you. I can’t forgive you, Dad. Because in order for me to forgive you, I have to understand you. And the only thing that I ever understood was my mother. And you took her away. So tell me, what the hell am I supposed to do now?”
I storm back into my room. My heart is pounding out a beat of fear and anger. I lock my door. I hope he isn’t mad enough to remind me of that night when I was eight.
Comments
Please Login to post comments| On September 1st 2008 animallover925 Said : | |
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wow this such amazing writing!!!! |
| On September 1st 2008 xxxshylaxxx Said : | |
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omg i love this story its great!!!!!!!!!!! |
| On August 31st 2008 leona136 Said : | |
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quite a monologue.
said far better than i could have. |
