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missmadisings

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Two, Four, Six, Eight!

I run back to the school. I don’t go to my classes though. I just hang out outside until I hear the final bell. Then I walk to the football field.

None of my teachers reported my ditching. They all love watching the cheerleaders too much to write one of us up. It’s like everything is back to normal. If it is normal for your dad to have an affair with your mother’s intern.

Coach runs through all the cheers that we will perform. Then we practice the fight song dance, for halftime. When we’re done there’s only fifteen minutes left. We stretch out as students start to trickle into the stadium.

The boys all cheer at our exposed bodies. Beth-Anne smiles at them and very pointedly stretches into her splits. They hoot and howl. She giggles. I secretly roll my eyes at her.

The game is starting. As the announcer announces the names, everyone yells and screams. I let a few of my own real screams lose. No one hears them. I send a kiss across the field to Brad. He winks.

We win. 28-21. I drive home. Brad wants me to go have sex with him. I tell him that I’m having family issues. I see him and Coleen making out. Guess Brad is gonna score off the field as well. I recite the SCORE! cheer in my head for his benefit.

Jamie stayed up waiting for me. He tells me that Dad and Lydia were making too much noise. I cradle him in my arms and sing him to sleep. Then I go tell Dad and Lydia that they need to stop sounding like dying animals.

I have the nightmare again.