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missmadisings

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I don’t even know what happened for the rest of the day. I’m pretty sure that Beck called Mom or Dad to tell them I had the flu. I think Paul, Janie, Melissa, and Thom tried to call. Jake didn’t. I tried not to dwell on that fact. It caused me too much pain. Becky found me on the bathroom floor, sobbing. I was pretty sure that I was covered in Sprite colored vomit stains. I could tell she had someone with her.

“I just don’t know what to do. I know that she always calls you when she’s upset. Make her better.” Becky whispered to a very, very tall guy.

Becky left and the mystery man squatted down by my head.

“Paul.” I whispered. I could make out his face now, blurred as it was by my tears.

“Hey sweetie.” He whispered, brushing the hair out of my face. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.” I whimpered.

Paul lifted me effortlessly. The rocking motion made me queasy, but there was nothing left in my stomach now. He brought me to my room and gently set me down on the bed.

“Off with the clothes, hon. They’re disgusting.”

I couldn’t make my arms work. Paul sighed and lifted my cami over my head. I felt sure that he would gasp. That he would notice the bump of a baby forming. He didn’t. I had to remind myself that Jake and I had only had sex two days ago. Well I think it was two days ago. My time was all screwy. While I was lost in thought Paul had managed to get my pants off too.

“Okay, Em. I need you to do something for me. I need you to put on these new Pajamas.” He indicated to the shorts and T-shirt he was holding, “And you need to put on some new underwear. Can you do that, sweetheart?”

I felt my head shaking. Paul sighed again. I was pretty sure of what this reminded him of. This was how I had acted after Jake left me. I couldn’t figure out if Paul was irritated that I was so pathetic, or just pissed off at Jake for whatever he had done this time. I felt my bra come off. Then my underwear. I felt the silk of new undies and Pajamas. I felt them, but I did not react to them. I just sat there. A zombie. I turned my vacant stare on Paul. He didn’t return the gaze. He just lifted me up again, pulled the covers back, and then tucked them up to my chin. I closed my eyes obediently. I didn’t sleep, but I could tell that time was passing. I heard Paul call Ms. Calhoun down the street and ask if Becky could stay with her while I got better. I heard the flurry of Janie and Melissa as they came to talk to Paul. Janie reprimanded him on missing school while Lissa buzzed about making sure I was okay. I heard Thom come and felt him kiss my forehead. He and Paul discussed me. And Jake. And me and Jake. Overprotective fools. They couldn’t understand the love I had for Jake. They couldn’t understand how tightly I was bound to him. But I never heard the one voice I was hoping for. The one voice that would make it all better. Jake never came. Then I realized something. I was going through shock! This stupid baby had made me go into shock. My breathing went into overdrive. I struggled against the uncontrollable exhaustion. I made myself sit up. I made myself open my eyes. I made my brain work.

“FUCKING BABY!!!!!!!!!!!” Oops. I guess instead of thoughts I accessed speech. I saw Thom and Paul turn to me.

“What are you talking about Em?” Asked Paul.

“Nothing. What day is it?”

“It’s Sunday.” Paul said slowly. Thom walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. Sunday. Shit. I had been ‘sleeping’ for three days. I calculated in my head. Jake and I had had sex on Tuesday. Wednesday I had skipped school and found out I was pregnant. That left me sleeping most of Wednesday, all of Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and some of Sunday. Man I had been out of it. I leaned into Thom.

“I missed so much.” I whispered.

Thom stroked my hair. “It’s no big deal, Em. You were sick.”

Paul came and sat on the other side of me. “It’s gonna be okay Em. I bet you’re all better now. You just needed to rest for a while.”

I nodded. What a liar I am.

“I feel much better already. Is Becky back from the Calhoun’s yet? And can I have some water? I’m parched.”

The boys smiled.

“I can go get Becky right now.” Paul said, grabbing his jacket.

“How about some Sprite instead? That might be better on your stomach. Just don’t drink it too fast.” Thom said.