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mergily18

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The weather outside was so nice and warm I could finally wear tank tops and have the windows down. I got my car back after Lucas was sent to prison so I could now drive myself to school. The only thing is, I’m not going to school on this gorgeous Friday morning. I am going to prison, to visit Lucas. Ever since the attack I have been having nightmares and I wake up in a cold sweat sometimes screaming. I asked Brie how she is handling it but she says she does not remember much of that day at all, she said it has something to do with blocking out bad memories. If only I had something like that. So now here I am driving to prison to try and confront my fears so I can get a descent night sleep. I figure that worst that could happen is the nightmares don’t stop so really what do I have to loose. I pull up to the prison parking lot and just sit in the car waiting for something to give me a little push out the door. Then I start wishing that I had brought Landon with me. I mean I know I am still a little pissed at him for the night before but I could really use some support right now. My thoughts were interrupted by a knocking at my window.  I rolled down the window so I could talk to the officer standing next to my car.

“Can I help you miss?” the officer asked. I step out of the car putting my purse over my shoulder.

“No I am just here to see someone” I reply and walk to the prison entrance. The guard at the door searched me before I entered and then led me to the booth where I would see my brother. I sat down and looked at the empty space on the other side of the glass part of me hoping that he would not come to the window, but I had no such luck. Lucas marched in and sat down in his bright orange jumpsuit. He sat and stared at me for a good long while before actually picking up the phone to talk to me. I hesitantly picked up my phone and put it to my ear.

“Why are you here?” were his first words. His face was emotionless and serous, god what had prison done to him?

“I don’t know” I mumbled looking down. I wanted to see him to face my fears but I hadn’t actually thought about what I would say to him.

“I’m sorry” he whispered. I looked up at him and saw tears in his eyes. Was he seriously doing this, was he seriously trying to apologize for what he had done.

“You’re sorry?” I said astonished, anger flooded my face. “You fucking killed a girl Lucas! You should be more than just sorry! God I don’t even know you anymore! And the drugs! Drugs Lucas! I thought you had gotten past that!” I was yelling now. Lucas looked down as tears fell from his eyes.

“I know, I know” he said wiping his eyes the best he could. “How is Brielle?” he asked not looking me in the eye.

“Well her life was fucked up enough before you came along and now she is not doing so great Lucas. She wouldn’t leave her house for almost 2 weeks and it almost took her a month to start talking to anyone besides Brayden!”

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry” he sobbed “I am getting help now; I have been clean for nearly 2 months.” Why had I been so afraid of him? He is a weak, self-involved, coward who deserves to be right were he’s at.

“I pity you” I said under my breath.

“Do you think you will ever for give me?” he asked starring me in the eye. I stood up putting my purse over my shoulder.

“Not in a million years” I told him then hung up the phone and walked away taking one last glace at him before leaving the building and never looking back as I pulled away in my car.