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melissabik

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“I still cannot believe that you are the same girl I knew long ago,” Nevena mused as she and I talked for a long time.  She heard—in part—about my situation, and she felt horrible about it.  “The lifestyle that you are living now is not healthy; this infection you received will only grow if you stay where you are,” she informed me with worry.  Sam stood in the distance, listening to our conversation quietly.  After Nevena left to look at some paperwork, Sam came and sat down on the edge of the bed.  He was quiet for a moment as he gazed into my eyes.  As I looked at him, I could see the worry that had filled his face.  “Kat…” he began, “We can’t live like this anymore.”  I sighed as I knew he was right. 

“Well what exactly are we going to do?  We don’t have much money to make ourselves a better life,” I exclaimed, feeling more and more like I was a helpless cause.  Sam stared off onto the white wall and grabbed my hand in his.  “We need to leave Croatia, Kat,” he muttered as he waited for my reaction.  I didn’t want to listen to him.  Gabe would find us if we left.  This place was remote, and it was perfect; but it was killing me.  “But Gabe…” I started, but Sam interrupted me.  “Gabe hasn’t found us; Gabe is gone, and I think we need to leave this place before I lose you; I can’t lose you, Kat,” he stated.  I knew he was right; I HATED it when he was right…  “What do you suggest?” I asked quietly. 

Sam stopped staring at the wall and looked into my eyes.  As I looked at him, he was a different person.  I really took a good look at him.  His eyes were a little dead and his cheeks were sunken.  He had lost a significant amount of weight, and he had seemed to age considerably in the last few months.  I wondered how badly I must look…  “England,” Sam informed me.  I looked at him with confusion.  “What are you talking about?” I asked.  “I have relatives in England and I know that they would be more than willing to help us out.  And we would be living in a healthier environment; I already talked to my cousin.  He said that we could come any time,” Sam explained as he squeezed my hand and Nevena returned.

“Tomorrow morning you will be discharged and allowed to go home.  I wish that you had a better place to go to instead of back to the germs,” Nevena stated as she fixed my IV.  I turned to Sam and searched his face.  “We’re going to England,” Sam stated, as if it was final.  I felt the anger rise inside of me; it just wasn’t safe.  And he decides that he can take over.  “Sam,” I warned him with a hint of anger in my voice.  “I don’t care what you say, Kat.  We are going to England, and that is it; I am not going to lose you,” he replied.  I knew there would be no way to argue with him.  I sighed as I leaned my head back on the uncomfortable pillow.  “I believe that would be a better place for you to go, Katarina,” Nevena stated as she began walking back.

“We leave in two days,” Sam stated as we drove in the little taxi.  I had just been released from the hospital, and we had just enough money for the flight and to pay the hospital bill.  I stared out the window as the taxi driver drove us back to the apartment.  On the way back, the taxi driver took a little detour by the beach.  I was amazed at how beautiful it all looked.  I didn’t think that a place like that existed in Croatia.  You could literally see to the bottom of the ocean.  It was amazing.  “Can we stop here?” I begged Sam.  He hesitated, but told the taxi driver to stop so we can get out.  We slowly walked down the beach; I was still a little weak, so Sam had to hold me with his arm.

We reached the bottom of the hill and were on a secluded part of the beach.  The waves crashed onto the shore and it all looked beautiful.  It was as if I were in heaven; I could have gotten lost there.  It was refreshing to smell the sea and feel the breeze on my skin.  I closed my eyes and reveled in the relaxation.  I could hear the seagulls overhead and the children laughing off in the distance.  “I love you,” Sam whispered into my ear.  I finally opened my eyes and looked up into Sam’s eyes.  There were tears in his eyes.  I reached my hand up to touch the side of his face.  “What’s wrong?” I asked with concern.  Sam struggled to smile to assure me that he was all right.  He put his hand on the side of my face and stroked my cheek lightly with his fingers.

“I thought I was going to lose you; you have no idea how terrifying that feels,” he stated quietly.  I smiled up at him and put my head on his shoulder.  “I think I have some sort of idea… and I’m sorry that I worried you.  I’m sorry about all of this…” I replied sadly.  Sam pulled me closer to him as the waves crashed onto the soft, white sand.  “I wish we could stay here forever,” I whispered as a tear slid down my cheek and onto Sam’s shirt.  “This is nice,” Sam muttered quietly.  But we couldn’t stay there forever; we had to go back and pack for England.  We were leaving this place.  I had mixed feelings about Croatia; at times it could be a beautiful paradise, and at other times, it was a poverty stricken place that seemed like it was in a time warp.

We sat in the airport as I held onto my ticket.  I wasn’t sure this was the right thing to do, but I knew that if we didn’t change our lifestyle somehow, I was going to have a short life after all.  Sam put his arm around me as we waited for our flight.  “Are you nervous?” Sam asked as he grabbed my hands that were shaking to steady them.  I smiled as I realized that I was bouncing my legs up and down.  That was what I did when I was nervous.  “I guess I am…  I don’t really know much of your family, besides your mom and dad,” I replied.  Sam shook his head as he patted my shoulder.  “They are going to love you; believe me.  You all ready won over mom and dad,” he reminded me.

I nodded my head.  “I guess you’re right.  I am pretty likeable,” I stated with a smile.  Talking about trivial things like this helped make our situation seem a little more bearable.  “Flight 744 to England is now boarding,” came over the loud speaker.  Sam got up and helped me up.  We headed for the gate and boarded the plane.  I sat on the window seat and stared out at what we were leaving behind.  It really was beautiful… and safe…  “We’ll be okay, I promise,” Sam assured me as if he could read my thoughts.  I turned to him and nodded.  “We will,” I replied quietly as I turned back and looked out the window.  I was glad to be leaving behind the hardest part of my life.  I was sure things would be easier…  And maybe Sam was right; maybe Gabe had given up and was going to leave us alone…