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WACK!  My eyes jolted open as I struggled to figure out where I was.  I looked around as my eyes tried to get used to the harsh light; everything looked blurry.  There was a sea of pillows in my face and a huge comforter covering me.  My eyes continued to search the room as I noticed my lamp and the pictures on my nightstand.  I was in my room.  “Come on, sleepy head…  It’s time to get up,” I heard Lindsay say as she began shaking the bed.  I groaned as I pulled one of the many pillows over my head.  “Please; just leave me alone to wallow in my pit of despair,” I begged her.  Lindsay sat down next to me and began to pull the pillow from my fingers.  “Anne, I know that you must be hurting right now,” she began.  I tried to grab another pillow to replace the first one.  I just didn’t want to hear it; I wanted Lindsay to go away…  I wanted her to leave me to lie in that same bed forever.  “You don’t know anything,” I replied through the muffled pillow.  Lindsay threw the rest of my pillows off of my bed and ripped the last one from my head.  “ANNE TANNER, this is not going to happen again.  I had to sit through this once before, with Nate…   You do remember, don’t you?” she asked as she stared me down.

“This is completely different, Lindsay.  Nate DIED; that took me years to get over… Aiden broke my heart; it’s going to take me more than a day…” I stated defensively.  Lindsay shook her head as she sat down next to me again.  “I know that it hurts, but you’ll get over it—eventually.  You just can’t sit here in bed for months on end, eating ice cream and watching depressing movies.  You have a business to attend to,” she reminded me.  I shook my head as the tears welled up in my eyes.  “Lindsay, I love him…  It hurts so much…  It almost hurts even more than when Nate died; because at least Nate and I experienced love.  I can’t even have that with Aiden…  I poured my soul out to him, Lindsay…  All while his ex-wife sat on the couch listening,” I replied.  The tears began to fall down my cheeks as Lindsay handed me a tissue box.  She leaned up against the bed frame and let me put my head in her lap.  I just laid there and cried.  I cried until no more tears would come out.  I needed that time; I needed the pain to go away.  I just wanted it all to be over… but then I knew that I had to get up.  I had a job to do, and I had to go and do it.  If I didn’t show up for work, Kip would come over and drag me there himself.

So after I cried my heart out on Lindsay’s lap, I went into the bathroom, took a LONG shower, got dressed for work, and headed in 3 hours late.  (Without calling Kip.)  As I entered the office, wearing my Channel sunglasses, (to avert the puffiness in my eyes), Kip noticed me from the corner of his eye right away.  “Tanner,” I heard him call.  I was hoping he wouldn’t bother me… at least for a few minutes.  I stopped in my tracks and headed over to his desk.  It appeared that his phone was lighting up.  “Do you see this, Anne?” he asked, pointing to the phone.  I nodded slowly, wondering if it was a trick question.  “All of these calls are for you.  Where have you been?” he asked, extremely annoyed.  How was I supposed to explain this to him?  Kip wouldn’t understand the situation.  First of all, he’s never even been in love.  His relationships have only lasted for two months; at the most.  Second of all, he was a man.  I was really beginning to loathe men.  As I stood there, trying to come up with an answer, I knew I didn’t owe him an explanation at all.  Kip technically worked for ME.  So why should I tell him anything?  I rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders.  “That really isn’t any of your business, Kip.  Just hand me the damn messages and I’ll get on the phone right away,” I stated coldly.

Kip looked at me in shock; I generally didn’t react towards him in this way.  He was sort of my best friend at work.  He was there when I started to expand the company, and he was always on my side.  But today, I didn’t care who was in my way; they were going to get the “wrath of Anne.”  Kip handed me the messages and watched me march into my office.  Before I could get inside, I was cornered by the one person I didn’t want to see—ever again.  “Anne,” Aiden stated, grabbing my arm.  I tensed up at his touch; it almost made me furious.  He had no right to touch me.  Yet here he was, looking at me, touching my arm, and talking to me.  How dare he?  Then again, I did tell him to go back to the way things were as if I never confessed my love for him…  “I’m busy, Aiden,” I stated, staring at my door.  I couldn’t even look him in the eye.  There was no way that was happening now.  “Please, Anne…  Won’t you let me explain what happened last night?” he asked.  I could hear the intensity in his voice.  I stood there for a moment, debating on whether or not I wanted to hear about his love-life.  My brain was screaming at me, “NO!”  I listened to it.  “Aiden, it really isn’t any of my business what happens in your love- life.  Now, let go of my arm.  I have to return these calls,” I stated, pulling my arm away and opening my door, slamming it shut behind him.  As soon as the door closed, I was leaning up against it with my eyes shut.

I could feel the tears threatening to expose themselves, but I managed to stop it.  I took a deep breath and set down my purse on the desk.  I leafed through the messages.  Five of them were from the bride and groom of our next wedding.  Great; I’ll be planning everyone else’s wedding even when I’m 50…  And I’ll just be an old maid.  Maybe I can plan Aiden and Maria’s second wedding.  Hopefully it will go better than the first…  Wait; why am I saying this?  Why was I saying these things?  It was because I was bitter.  Maria stomped all over Aiden’s heart, but she still gets him in the end.  What was I doing wrong?  Should I have done the same?  Everything just didn’t make sense…  I continued to leaf through the messages when I stopped on one that I didn’t expect to see.  “Call Vince; Apparently it’s important,” one of the messages read.  I stood in the same spot, shocked to see the name.  Vince; the man who broke up with me over the phone while I was in Arizona with the OTHER man who shall not be named.   Why was he calling me, and what could be so important?  I sat down in my chair and pondered on it for a moment.  Then I slid it to the side; I might call him back…  Finally came the last message; “Paul Something-or-other called; wants to schedule another dinner.” 

Did I have some sort of mojo?  I feel completely screwed up and get two phone calls from two different guys.  None of which are the one I really want…  I wasn’t even trying and I had two guys after me.  (Or so I assumed.)  But it didn’t make me happy; I wanted Aiden to be after me.  Instead, he was going after his ex-wife…  Anne, move on.  Forget about him; he wasn’t Mr. Right.  You were wrong.  You have two eligible guys waiting for your call.  So call them; call them both!  Have a date with both of them; give yourself a gift…  You’ve been suffering for so long…  I let out a sigh of despair as I picked up the telephone receiver and dialed Vince’s number.  Why am I calling him?  This is stupid…  I was going to hang up when he answered.  “Hello?”  For a minute or two, I just sat there.  I didn’t say a word.  “Hello?  Is anyone there?” Vince asked again, probably about ready to hang up.  “Yeah,” I blurted out.  “Anne?” Vince guessed.

“Yeah…  It’s me.  I see that you called me.”

“Right…  I did.  Some guy answered and told me you weren’t in.”

“I had some other… things to do.  But Kip said that you had something important you wanted to talk to me about.”  I played with the little post-it with Vince’s name on it.  It felt odd to hear his voice again.  He didn’t sound the same, though.  He sounded… happier?

“Yeah; something really important.”

“Well, what is it?”

There was a pause.  “…Well, I don’t exactly know how to say this, so I’ll just say it.  I missed you, Anne.”

“… You did?”

“A lot…  I’ve been thinking about you since we broke up.  Anne, it was the biggest mistake of my life.”

“What about Sadie?  I thought you were with her… What changed your mind?  You seemed pretty sure when you broke up with me over the phone,” I replied haughtily.

“Sadie was a mistake…  I was stupid, and I was afraid…  Things were getting serious, and I wasn’t used to that.”

“We were together for two years, Vince.”

“I know…  But you know me.  My family was telling me that it was time to propose…  They were rushing me, and I thought that if I broke up with you, I would feel better.  I thought that if I found someone new, it would all be over; I would feel content … But I didn’t…  I still care about you, Anne.”

I sat there for a moment, trying to comprehend the brain of Vince.  His brain was different than most people.  I fiddled with the post-it.  “Anne?  Are you still there?” Vince asked, wondering why there was such a pause.  “Yeah, I’m here.  I’m just… thinking,” I answered.  Was Vince telling the truth?  Or did he just want someone to be with?  Was I his backup and he just wanted to be in a comfortable, uncomplicated place?  Well I didn’t want that.  If there were problems, I didn’t just want to bury them under the rug.  I had been doing that my whole life.  Vince needed to know that.  Plus, I wasn’t sure that I even wanted a serious relationship anymore.  “Vince, I have to be honest with you.  I’m just not in the same place that you are right now.  And I don’t know if I can believe you.  I’m not just going to go back to you; we’re not going to sweep this problem away,” I started.  “I know,” Vince replied quickly.  “And I just don’t want to be in a serious relationship right now,” I added.  “I understand that.  I wasn’t expecting for us to just pick up where we left off.  That would be selfish of me.  I know that I’ve made a few mistakes in our relationship… but so have you.  Neither one of us is perfect.  All I’m asking is for one date,” Vince explained.

I stared at myself in the full-length mirror in my office.  I was wearing a pink cardigan sweater with a black miniskirt and my favorite black heels.  I had straightened my hair and it was down below my shoulders.  I smoothed it nervously as I checked my watch for the time.  I had my lunch date with Paul in 20 minutes.  I wanted to look good, but it wasn’t really for him.  If Aiden saw me, he would wonder where I was off to.  And I would definitely tell him…  I sighed as I grabbed my pink handbag and coat, heading out the door.  Kip sat at his usual spot, watching me.  “Oh, Anne?  Where are you off to?  We have clients coming in at 3,” he called.  I turned back and put my hand up, nodding.  “I know, Kip.  I’ll be back,” I replied, looking around to see if Aiden was there.  Darn…  He wasn’t.  I really wanted to make him jealous.  But would I?  Did he really even care?  Was I just pulling at thin air, hoping to make a snag in his heart?  I shrugged my shoulders and headed to the elevator.  Pressing the down button, I put on my jacket and waited for the elevator to reach our floor.  The elevator doors opened, and I was staring into the face of my enemy.  “Anne,” Aiden replied as he shuffled uncomfortably towards me.  I stood there in shock for about two seconds, not sure if I should say anything; so I didn’t.  Aiden stepped out of the elevator and looked me over.  He checked his watch and then turned his gaze back on me.  I averted my gaze to the floor and began tapping my foot, waiting for Aiden to get out of my way.  “Where are you off to?” he asked.  It was the question I had been waiting for.  “I have a lunch date with someone,” I replied simply, still not looking at him.

Aiden nodded his head.  “Oh; a client?” he asked out of curiosity.  A smug smile escaped my lips.  “No; I have a date with Paul from the Chicago Tribune; he asked me out for a second date,” I replied with a little white lie, this time having enough courage to look up at Aiden.  As I looked into his eyes, I could have sworn that I saw disappointment in them.  “Paul… right… you mentioned him when…” His voice trailed off.  I glanced down at my watch impatiently as the elevator doors closed.  “…Why are you doing this, Anne?” Aiden suddenly asked.  I looked at him in confusion.  Doing what?  I was doing exactly what I wanted to do; for once…  “I’m going out on a date with a guy that I like,” I replied matter-of-factly.  Aiden shook his head.  “I don’t understand…  Just a few days ago you were telling me that…”  I wasn’t about to let Aiden finish that sentence.  “I thought I told you to forget about that.  I never said anything,” I warned him, walking around him towards the elevator and pressing the button again.  I just wished that the doors would open all ready; Aiden was standing behind me, and I felt extremely uncomfortable.

“Anne,” Aiden called.  I didn’t turn around.  I just couldn’t look at him anymore.  “Anne, look at me,” he pleaded.  I shook my head, praying for the elevator doors to open.  Why weren’t they opening?  It was just on this floor a minute ago…  “Anne,” Aiden called again, this time, just inches from the back of my head.  I could feel him breathing on me, and it was giving me chills.  His scent began to wrap around me as I struggled to ignore the urge to kiss him.  It had been some time since we last kissed…  New Year’s Eve was the last time I felt him…  And now, I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and forget everything that had happened in the past few days.  “Look at me,” Aiden whispered as his muscular body pressed up against my back and he put both of his hands on my arms.  I was trembling.  He was just so intoxicating.  How could any man do that?  I closed my eyes and leaned my head up against the crook of his neck.  I almost couldn’t take it.  My heart was pounding like it was about to jump out of my chest.  I began to breathe heavier as I turned my face towards his.  My lips were nearly there, when the elevator door swung open.  My eyes split open abruptly as I realized what I was doing.  I quickly pulled away and ran towards the elevator.  “I have a date,” I managed to reply quietly as I stood in the elevator, still trembling.  Aiden stared at me with the disappointment in his eyes.  They looked as though they were yearning for me.  Was there a hidden desire?  But how could he?  He was supposed to be working things out with his ex-wife…  I waited for the elevator doors to close as I stared into Aiden’s eyes.  My heart was still beating erratically, but I was thankful that the elevator had come up just in time.  I don’t know what I would have done if the elevator had come up a fraction of a second later…

Let’s just say my date with Paul was far from interesting.  There was even less attraction to him as we went on our second date.  After it was over, I told him that we should just be friends.  Now, here I was, getting ready for my date with Vince…  I was wondering if it would be just as much of a disaster…  Maybe it was because I was so wrapped up with Aiden; or maybe Paul was just not the man I imagined him to be.  Still, I was looking forward to my date with Vince much more than my date with Paul.  That was for two reasons.  First, Vince broke up with me over the phone, so I wanted to make him extremely jealous and stupid for breaking up with me in the first place.  Second, maybe he could help me forget about the event at the elevator with Aiden earlier that morning…  I had dressed up in my purple cocktail dress with my gold stiletto heels, and I put my hair up in an elegant up do; I looked sexy.  Sexy was exactly what I was going for.  I wanted to make Vince regret everything he did to me; even if I had all ready gotten over it—for the most part.  I waited for him to arrive as 6 o’clock was approaching.  Then came 6:03, 6:11, 6:20…  That bastard stood me up! I thought as I sat at my kitchen table, leafing through a magazine all gussied up for my date.  Just then, there was a knock at the door.

I walked over to answer it, struggling to recover my composure of “sexy.”  I opened it to find Vince standing there with a single red rose…  Classic move…  “You’re late,” I stated with hostility.  Vince nodded with embarrassment.  “I know; I’m so sorry.  I was watching my nephew while my sister went to work.  She picked him up a little late…  I really do want to be here; I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me…”  He began to look me over.  “Can I just say,” he began as he moved in to embrace me.  “…you look so sexy,” he whispered into my ear.  That made me feel good.  I could feel my cheeks growing hot as Vince closed the door behind him.  I went to the kitchen and put the rose in a vase.  “All right, it’s time for your one date,” I stated to him as I put on my coat.  I wasn’t expecting to have much fun with Vince, considering our past.  We barely spent any time together when we were, well, together…  And we were together for 2 years.  As Vince drove down the road like a race car, we entered a dance club I wasn’t familiar with.  I was expecting some stuffy, boring, restaurant, but here we were, somewhere deep in the heart of downtown, at some little club that I’m sure held a few A-listers. 

I turned to Vince in shock.  “We’re eating dinner here?” I asked as he parked the car.  Vince smiled proudly as he opened his car door.  He walked over to my side and opened the passenger door, holding out his hand for me to grab.  I reluctantly took it as we headed to the little velvet rope.  I expected we weren’t going to get in; it just wasn’t possible.  But I forgot Vince was a lawyer; he had represented some big shots in his day…  He himself was almost just as famous.  The velvet rope was lifted for us to enter as we were engulfed by loud techno music.  The site I beheld was one I had only seen in movies and on TV.  People were dancing, sitting at the bar, there were dim lights, and it was hard to hear yourself.  But for some reason, I was enjoying it.  It made me feel young…  I mean, I was still young, but in a few short years, I was going to be too old for a place like this.  “What do you think?” Vince asked as we were escorted to a little booth on the second floor, which was made of mostly glass.  I was speechless.  “It’s amazing,” I replied as I was handed a little menu.  Vince had really put some thought into this.  I began to wonder why he had never taken me on dates like this when we were together…

As we ate, we talked about what we had been doing since we broke up.  Vince seemed to have this sob story about how I was missing from his life.  “I would have some exciting news about a case and want to call you, but I couldn’t; because we were over…” he replied as he sipped his drink.  I nodded, not really knowing what to say.  I couldn’t tell him that I felt the same, but it was nice to hear that someone wanted me…  “I still don’t understand…  You said you were in love with Sadie,” I asked, struggling to comprehend the mind of Vince.  He really was hard to read.  Vince shrugged his shoulders as the music died down a bit.  “I told you; my family was pressuring me into proposing to you.  I was terrified that I HAD to do it.  I wanted to ask you, but I wanted to do it in my own time.  I felt like everything was being rushed.  Then I met Sadie at work…  She was working on a case with me, and it just felt nice not to be in such a hurry.  I was confused…” he replied.  Confusion…  I know a little something about that… I thought as I finished my main course.

After another long hour of productive talking, Vince and I hit the dance floor.  Before I knew it, we were caught in a heated dance and I was sweating.  My body was so close to Vince’s…  It felt good to be caressed by him.  It was a touch I had been longing for.  A few hours earlier, I was yearning it from Aiden, but at that moment, Vince was working out just fine.  As we got caught up in the moment, my heart pounding faster as my breath grew heavier, I realized that my lips were up against his.  We were kissing and it felt good…  Suddenly, we weren’t just kissing, we were making out on the dance floor.  It was so erotic for me; a girl who was so stiff and closed up was dancing in a club and making out with her ex…  That definitely didn’t sound like Anne Tanner; but I enjoyed it.  I was so attracted to Vince; I couldn’t remember the last time I felt that way about him.  As the night drew to a close, we exited the club, extremely exhausted, and pretty sweaty.  We entered the car and Vince searched for his keys.  “That was fun,” he replied.  I nodded, but I didn’t hear a word he said.  I was still caught up in the heat of the moment.  I wanted to kiss him again.  I wanted to feel his soft lips against mine.  It made me forget about everything around me; it made me forget about Aiden.

“I hope that we can do this again,” Vince added as he turned to me.  Before he could say anything else, I grabbed his collar and pulled him close to me.  My lips hovered over his as I stared into his eyes, which were only a centimeter away from mine.  “Anne?” Vince replied in confusion.  He wasn’t used to THIS Anne…  “Shut up and kiss me,” I whispered as I pressed my lips against his.  That’s when we made out in the car…  Around 2 in the morning, Vince dropped me off at my house.  He walked me up the steps of my apartment and lingered for a minute.  He was holding my hand, and he was very happy.  I must say, I was feeling elated at the time…  “I had a great time, Anne,” Vince stated as if he were on some high… And technically, he was; it was a natural high.  He was high off of me.  I smiled at him as I held my keys with one hand.  “I had a great time too,” I replied as the cold whipped us both.  Vince climbed up to the top step and put one hand up to my face.  “I want to be with you,” he whispered as he kissed my cheek.  That’s when I woke up—a little. 

I couldn’t do that; I couldn’t just let him in and have some more… ahem, heated moments with him.  I wasn’t doing it for the right reasons…  I didn’t think it would be fair if I let him in, even though I wanted to.  “Goodnight, Vince.  And please… call me,” I whispered into his ear as I gently kissed the side of his lip playfully.  Vince smiled as he turned his face and kissed me passionately.  “I missed you,” he whispered, still trying to convince me.  “Goodnight, Vince,” I stated again as I pulled away from him and headed inside my apartment.