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“Let’s take a picture of the happy couple… 1, 2, 3.”  “I can’t believe you finally got married, Anne.  After all these years, here you are, planning your own wedding…”  “Anne… ANNE?” I heard in the back of my mind.  Who was calling me?  I was at my wedding; finally MY wedding…  I turned in confusion as I searched out the person calling for me.  Where were they?  What did they want?  Who was I marrying for that matter?  I noticed someone in a tux surrounded by people.  “Excuse me, can you help me find my, uh… husband?” I asked an onlooker.  The woman smiled as she pointed at the very same man in the tux.  “Thank you,” I replied.  I could feel my stomach tighten as butterflies danced around inside of me.  I had had a dream like this once before.  It was right after Nate’s death…  I was marrying Nate.  That was the groom; it had to be.  I came up behind him and tapped his shoulder as music played in the background.  “Excuse me, sir, but I do believe you owe me this dance,” I replied, waiting to see Nate’s beautiful face.  But the person who turned to me was not Nate; it was Aiden.  I was marrying Aiden?  Maybe this wasn’t a dream…  Had I given in to my feelings and confessed my love to him?  Had he proposed and the last few months were all just a blur up until this moment?
I stared at Aiden in confusion as he smiled back at me.  “What’s the matter, honey?” he asked as he took hold of my hand.  I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t talk.  Nothing would come out.  “Anne, are you okay?  Anne?”  “ANNE???”  I shot up in my chair and realized I was sitting at my desk in my office.  I hadn’t forgotten the past few months, and I hadn’t married Aiden.  Although, someone was calling me.  I looked up at the door to see Aiden with his head poked through.  “You’re finally awake.  I’ve been calling your name for the last two minutes,” he stated as he entered.  I suddenly felt extremely embarrassed.  It wasn’t as if Aiden could see what I was dreaming, but I just felt nervous around him.  I could feel my cheeks growing hot as I sat there.  “What is it?” I finally asked, ready for him to leave my office.  “I just thought I’d let you know that I’m going out to lunch,” he replied.  Again?  This is the third time this week.  Who is he having lunch with? I wondered.  It was beginning to really bother me.  But it shouldn’t, should it?  “Sure, okay… but we have a meeting at 4 o’clock, so be back by then,” I reminded him.  Aiden nodded as he headed towards the door.  I couldn’t help myself.  “Who are you having lunch with?” I asked with consuming curiosity.  Aiden shrugged his shoulders.  He paused for a moment when he finally replied, “A friend.”  At that, he was out the door.

I plopped my head down onto my desk.  It really bothered me.  I felt like that answer didn’t really help my mind feel more at ease.  Was his “friend” a woman, or was it just a friend?  It was killing me.  But it shouldn’t bother me.  It wasn’t going to bother me.  I was going to forget that Aiden was going to have lunch with some skank, and I was going to do my job.  I heard another knock at my door.  I swear, if this is Aiden again…  “Excuse me, is this Anne Tanner’s office?” someone asked.  I looked up at the door.  That wasn’t Aiden’s voice.  I stood up and opened the door slightly to see who it was.  My eyes were very pleased with what they saw.  Standing in front of me was a tall, slender, dark-haired man, with pulsating eyes of blue and a muscular jaw.  He was very appealing, and he was standing at my door.  “I’m Anne Tanner,” I stated, opening the door all the way.  I tried to stand with poise, all though I didn’t know how that actually looked like.  The man smiled as he held out his hand.  “Hi; I’m Paul Kramer,” he introduced himself. 

I smiled as I offered for him to come into my office.  He accepted and sat down in a chair as I walked back to my desk.  “How can I help you, Mr. Kramer?” I asked, fixing the messy papers on my desk.  Mr. Kramer smiled.  “Well, I’m from the Chicago Tribune, and I was wondering if I could do a story on you for the weddings section in our newspaper.  You have been hailed one of the best wedding planners in Chicago,” he addressed me.  I was beaming with pride.  I was one of the best wedding planners in Chicago… Maybe even in the whole United States…  “You want to do a story on me?” I asked, making sure I heard him right.  This would be great PR for me… For the business…  Mr. Kramer nodded.  “If you don’t mind…” he added, hoping I would say yes.  And why wouldn’t I?  I was about to get better press than I possibly could have hoped for.  “Sure; that would be fine,” I stated nonchalantly.  Kramer took out his pad and pencil and began asking me a series of questions.  He asked where I grew up, why I wanted to be a wedding planner, what brought me to this business; the usual stuff.  But there was one question that stumped me.  I just couldn’t seem to answer it.  “Being a wedding planner, you’ve planned hundreds of weddings; but you have yet to create your own.  Do you think that Mr. Right is out there?” Kramer asked, pencil in mid-air, ready to write down my answer. 

I was going to say, “Yes,” but for some reason, I just couldn’t.  Was Mr. Right out there?  I didn’t know that anymore.  I thought Nate was Mr. Right, but he died before we even had the chance…  Then I thought Vince was the one, but it turned out that I was just convincing myself that.  And here I was, two unsuccessful trips toward the aisle, and I couldn’t answer the question.  Was I just fooling myself?  Then there was Aiden; he was the most complicated one of them all.  I felt something for him, there was no doubt, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to open up.  I don’t know if it was because I was afraid it was going to end in failure.  Or maybe I was just afraid that it would turn out right.  For that moment, I honestly didn’t know if there was a Mr. Right out there for me.  Maybe I was never meant to have one.  There were plenty of women out there who had no Mr. Right.  They had Mr. Right-Now.  Maybe that’s what I was doing.  I just didn’t see that there was a Mr. Right for me.  Everyone has flaws; I knew there would be no way Mr. Right was out there.  But, for press’ sake, I answered Kramer in the opposite.  “Yes, I believe that Mr. Right is out there somewhere, and I just have to wait patiently for him to come and find me.  I’m out here,” I replied, knowing I didn’t feel that way at all.

“You have a date with Chicago Tribune guy?” Lindsay asked as she sat on the floor of my living room, eating a piece of chocolate.  She was staring at my TV watching some reality TV show that I hated, and she was making me nervous; the chocolate could land on my white carpet.  I didn’t want any stains…  “Yes, and it’s tonight.  You need to leave right now.  He’ll be here any minute,” I replied, swiping the rest of the chocolate she was holding.  Lindsay began to pout as she slumped onto my leather couch.  “Aw, come on, Anne… Can’t I just stay and watch this show?  Then when you come back, we can talk all about your pretty little date,” she suggested, looking up at me.  She was trying to make puppy-eyes, but considering how old she was, it wasn’t going to work on me.  “Lindsay, go home,” I replied in annoyance.  Lindsay shook her head, defying me.  “Nope; I’m going to sit right here until you come back,” she stated with a smug smile.  I opened my mouth to chastise her, but before I could get a word out, there was a knock at the door.  “Keep your mouth shut, Lindsay,” I whispered as I walked towards the front door.  On my way, I glanced in the full length mirror in the hall way to make sure I looked good.  I was wearing my little black dress that was low cut and above the knee with a gold necklace and bangles to match.  I had a gold clutch and my Gucci heels.

I took a deep breath, wondering what exactly I was getting myself into.  Why did I say yes?  Was I just trying to forget about Aiden?  No; I genuinely liked him…  That’s what I told myself as I opened the door.  “Paul,” I greeted as he held out his hand, holding a bouquet of flowers.  A bouquet… how typical.  Aiden gave me a single white orchid… It was my favorite flower…  This guy gives me a dozen red roses.  How typical?  I smiled as I took the bouquet from him and put it on the table by the door.  “Do you like them?” Paul asked as he struggled to get inside.  I didn’t want him to come in, considering Lindsay was there.  She would probably just interrogate him and cause him to run away…  So I stood in his way, forcing him out the door as I grabbed my coat.  “They’re lovely, Paul.  Thank you; how very thoughtful,” I replied, shutting the door behind me.  Paul looked over my shoulder towards the door in curiosity.  “Will I get to see the inside later on?” he asked, now looking down at me.  The hell you are! I thought as I put on my black trench coat.  I pasted my signature smile on and headed down the stairs.  “We’ll see,” I stated, giving him some hope, even though he had none.

We entered his little two-seater car and sped off to a restaurant that I recognized.  It was “La Butte,” the restaurant that Aiden and I had traveled to in Arizona; apparently, we had one of them in Chicago, and it was actually really close to my house.  I exited the car and felt the irony as Paul gave me his hand.  So far, this whole evening seemed to be reminding me of Aiden; that was exactly the opposite of what I intended this date to be for.  I shrugged off the feeling and followed Paul into the restaurant.  He slipped the maître de a twenty, and we were ushered to a little booth in the corner of the restaurant.  It was a lovely little table, all ready lit with two candles and decked out with two menus, waiting for us.  I sat down across from Paul and smiled.  I began to feel nervous; why was I here?  Was I just using Paul?  I didn’t even know him, and here I was, having a date with him.  He could be a jerk for all I knew… 

“So, what looks good on the menu?” Paul asked as he searched his own menu, occasionally peering up at me.  I shrugged my shoulders.  I ordered something I didn’t particularly care for, waited for my Sprite to arrive, and waited for the evening to be over.  As the dessert course rolled around, I actually was having fun.  Paul was what I called the “class clown.”  He knew tons of hilarious jokes, and he told them all to me.  And surprisingly, none of them were the least bit boring or trashy.  I was having a good time with Paul, but there was still a question lingering in the back of my mind.  “Why did you ask me out?” I finally had the courage to ask.  Paul played with his strawberry cheesecake as I stared at his hands.  “Well, I think you’re a wonderful woman.  First of all, you’re extremely beautiful, and I just wanted to get to know you better, that’s all,” he exclaimed as he took a bite of his dessert.  It wasn’t exactly the perfect answer I was hoping for.  I thought that maybe Paul would be my Mr. Right.  But how could I have known?  The whole night, all I thought of was Aiden.  He was everywhere…  I just didn’t feel right with Paul.  But why?  Why didn’t I feel right?  What was I holding back?

I knew exactly what I was holding back.  I just couldn’t bring myself to express it out loud, or even in my head.  Going to dinner with Paul made it perfectly clear on how I was feeling.  I was in love with Aiden Rupert.  HE was Mr. Right, not Mr. Right-Now, not Mr. English, but Mr. Right.  From the first day I saw him, I was head-over-heels…  But me and my stubborn head…  I wouldn’t allow myself the pleasure of finally finding that one person.  I had been searching for him all of my life, hoping to finally plan that dream wedding, when he finally appeared, I didn’t even want to realize it.  My heart began to pound as I discovered this revelation.  It was so eye-opening, I couldn’t breathe.  Paul looked over at me from across the table with concern.  “Anne?  Are you okay, Anne?  Maybe you need a drink of water,” he suggested as he pushed his water in front of me.  I shook my head; this date was about to end—right now.  “Paul, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go,” I stated, getting up from the table.  “Where?  It’s only 8:30,” Paul protested.  I knew exactly where I was going; I couldn’t wait any longer.  I was in love with Aiden, and he had to know it, right now. 

I was standing in front of Aiden’s doorway, my hand in the air, ready to knock.  It was frozen; frozen in fear.  I didn’t know what to say.  I just knew I had to say something.  But could I do it?  Suddenly, my hand touched the wood of the door.  I knocked on it and waited for Aiden’s face to appear.  After a moment or two, I heard the bolts and locks being opened.  The door opened slowly as Aiden’s head was revealed.  My heart began to pound as I took in his beautiful face.  He really was beautiful…  “Anne,” he stated in surprise.  I smiled up at him as my heart welled up.  It felt so good to hear him say my name.  I loved it when he said my name.  I loved it when he looked at me with those eyes.  I loved it when he smiled that smile I loved.  I loved him…  “Hey, Aiden,” I managed to reply without giving myself away.  “I really need to talk to you,” I added.  Aiden looked at me with confusion.  “I’m a little busy, what is it?” he asked with his hand up on the doorframe.  I ignored his impatience and took a deep breath.  “I went out on a date tonight, with someone from the Chicago Tribune,” I informed him.  Aiden looked at me, feeling even more confused.  “Congratulations,” Aiden replied, not knowing if that was the right answer.  I struggled to find the right words to tell how I was feeling.

So I just said everything—all in one breath.  “Aiden, tonight I realized something that I was trying to hide from since I met you.  My date with Paul was fine; I had fun…  He was really wonderful, but something just didn’t feel right.  I kept thinking of something else that I shouldn’t even be thinking of.  I kept thinking about… about you.  I keep thinking about YOU, constantly.  I wanted to drown out the feelings I was having…  I just felt like I would lose everything; I would be vulnerable to you.  I was afraid that I would get hurt…  But I thought about everything we’ve been through.  I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.  You know so much about me; it was always easy to open up to you.  And there I was, sitting in the restaurant, like the one we went to in Arizona, and Paul gave me a bouquet of flowers…  But all I could think of was how YOU gave me that white orchid, and how you make me laugh, and how you’re afraid of flying…  And I love it; I love all of those things about you…  I love being with you.  You were always there when I fell; you caught me and saved me from falling off of the edge…  But I was just so afraid.  I didn’t want to open my heart.  And as I sat there, thinking about you instead of Paul, it hit me.  You were my Mr. Right.  You’re the man I’ve been waiting for.  And I know that I’ve been confusing things…  You kissed me, and I pulled away.  I hate that I did that; I have regretted it since it happened….   But that kiss, I wanted that kiss.  I WANT that kiss, Aiden.  I realized, as I sat there in La Butte, that I wanted you.  So here I stand, at your doorstep, pouring out my heart, becoming vulnerable…  Aiden, I love you.  I-love-you.  I can’t believe I finally said it.  I love you,” I spat out, finally taking a huge gasp of air.

I waited for Aiden to respond.  He just stood there, in shock.  I swear, I don’t even think he was breathing.  His face became deathly pale.  I was afraid he was going to faint or something.  I was about to call his name.  “Aiden,” I opened my mouth, but it wasn’t me who was calling him.  It was another WOMAN’S voice.  I looked up to search Aiden’s face.  His eyes had gone down to the floor in shame.  But why was he hiding his face in shame?  And who was the woman?  I looked behind Aiden to see a woman with brunette, short hair hovering by the couch.  She began walking forward and came behind Aiden.  She put her arm on his shoulder and smiled at me; it wasn’t a friendly smile.  It was more like a, this-is-my-man-so-get-the-hell-away-from-him, smile.  “Who is this, honey?” the woman asked as Aiden pushed her hand off of him.  “Stop it, Maria,” he replied, becoming even more uncomfortable.  I stood there, suddenly realizing who this woman was.  “Maria?  As in your ex-wife?” I gasped, wondering why I hadn’t realized it before.  The woman had an English accent; it was Maria.  Aiden still couldn’t look at me.  “I’m Maria… Who are you?” Maria asked, struggling to get in front of Aiden. 

He wouldn’t allow that.  He turned and put his hand on her shoulder.  “M, please, just go into the room and leave us alone for a minute,” he begged.  I shook my head.  I couldn’t believe it.  She must have been the one he was having lunch with.  She wants him back… Apparently Aiden’s best friend didn’t satisfy her needs.  I poured out my heart and soul to Aiden, ready to love him and to have him love me…  And here he was with his ex-wife on his couch, all ready moving on from me…  Or moving back…  “Anne,” Aiden started, but I wouldn’t let him continue.  I put my hand up as tears welled up in my face.  “I see how it is…  I…  I have to go,” I managed to reply.  I began to walk down the stairs of his penthouse apartment as the tears flowed down my cheeks.  I struggled not to sob…  “Anne, don’t go,” I heard Aiden say as he followed after me.  I ran down the stairs as fast as I could and out the door into the cold air.  “Anne!” Aiden called after me as he ran out onto the street in his white t-shirt and ripped jeans.  I took a breath and turned back to face the man that was causing me so much pain.  “Please; just let me go…  Let me go now.  I take everything back; everything I said, just forget that I said it,” I stated as anger began to flow through my veins.  “Anne… please don’t do this.  You don’t know what’s going on,” he struggled to explain.  I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I knew I was right not to open up.  I didn’t need this; I didn’t need to love again… 

“I don’t need to know what’s going on.  Just let me walk away; don’t follow me…  Watch me walk away, and then tomorrow, we’ll just go to work like this never happened,” I stated, wiping some tears away.  “This never happened,” I repeated.  Aiden was going to say something, but I wasn’t listening.  I began to walk down the sidewalk to a taxi waiting at the end of the street.  Tears began to pour down my cheeks.  It hurt me so much.  I was in so much pain.  I was ready to love him, and here he was, in his apartment with Maria…  I had opened my heart… and now I was closing it again.