Mom at 15

"ALICIA! Time to get up! Get ready for school!" My mom shouted from behind the door.

"UGHHH! I'm up mom." I shouted back at her. I hated how she always did that, she knew I was up. Oh well. I crawled out of bed and changed into my school clothes. Today was the day. Today I was going to tell Jordan that I am pregnant. I was scared to death. Not because I was worried of what he would do, but because I was worried what my parents would say after I told them. All I knew is right here, right now. I wasn't sure I wanted the baby.

It was almost lunchtime. I decided now would be the best time to tell Jordan I needed to talk to him during lunch so as he walked by my desk I grabbed his arm and told him I needed to talk to him during lunch. I kept nervously staring at the clock hoping the bell wouldn't ring. Hoping time would stop. RIIIIIING. Lunchtime. The butterflies in my stomach were franticly flying around now. I was so nervous I started to feel sick.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Uhm. I think we should go somewhere a little less crowded."

"Okay. How about we go for a walk."

We started walking towards the parking lot. We were finally alone.

"Jordan. I..I have something really important I need to tell you. I was talking to Nikki's dad and asked him to give me a test..Jordan..I'm pregnant" By the time I finally got the words out I was in tears. He put his arms around me and started to tear up too.

"Wow. I never expected you to say that. I thought you were going to say you wanted to break up."

"Why would I break up with you? Jordan, I love you, you know that!"

"I know. But I need to go now. I have a lot of thinking to do. I will pick you up after school."

Jordan had already graduated, he was 19, another reason I was so nervous. I was afraid what would happen to him. I didn't want him to get into trouble. Especially since I was pregnant. Although I still had to tell my parents I finally felt better about everything, I shouldht have been nervous about telling Jordan in the first place. He will make a wonderful father.

After school. I dread the thought of going home and talking to my parents, but I told them I had to talk to them. I get into Jordan's car and we drive over to his apartment so we can pick up a few things then drive back over to my house. I walk up to the steps and tell Jordan I cant. I'm too afraid of what they might say.

"Leesha, you can do this. I know you can. Now lets go tell them." I could tell he was nervous too. I heard it in his voice. But I gave him a hug and we walked through the door.

"I'm home!" I yelled hoping nobody would be home.

"We'll be down in a minute" I heard from upstairs. UGHH, they were home. Oh well, the sooner I get this over with the sooner I can get on with this pregnancy without worries..well..as many worries. My parents started to walk down the stairs. I was surprised my dad was there, I figured I would have had to wait a little longer for him, oh well.

"Mom, Dad, sit down, I need to tell you something.." I looked over at Jordan and sat down on the chair by the couch.

"Okay, What is it."

My eyes started to water. I became even more nervous. "I, I'm pregnant."

My mom jumped up from the couch and started yelling at me.

"WHAT, YOU'RE PREGNANT?!? Well I wont be taking care of that baby there's NO way you are even keeping it!"

"YES THERE IS, Mom, its MY decision, MY baby, NOT yours. I don't care if I have to find somewhere else to live to keep it, I AM keeping it!"

"Well then I guess you will just have to find somewhere else to live because as long as you are pregnant..Oh my god. Fourteen years old and Fucking pregnant!"

"Don't you think that's a little out of line, I mean give the girl a break, its just a mistake, the same mistake YOU made at her age if you don't remember that" Wait. What did he just say? My mom had a baby at my age? Was it my older brother? Is there another sibling I don't know about?

"Yes. But if YOU don't remember I had a miscarriage. AND I was going to give it up for adoption, AND it was from a rape! NOT just some little WHORE having sex with her boyfriend! And either way, she will still be kicked out."

"She can come life with me, I mean it is my kid, she can live with me."

"Oh, its your kid? At least she picked a decent guy to be the father."

I couldn't move, I was still in shock. I was being kicked out of my house. I never thought that would happen, sure I knew she would get mad. My dad was always the one to stick up for me.

"I'll go pack my things." I finally was able to get out of my mouth. I was still in shock that I was being kicked out.

"I'll come up and help you." I fell onto the bed and began crying.

"Aww, hunnie, it will be okay, eventually you mom will lighten up."

"No she wont and you know it! You know how my mom is!"

He didn't answer. I didn't really care, I didn't want to talk anyways. We finished packing my stuff and headed to the car. I didn't even say goodbye to my mom. I gave my dad a hug and said I'd come see him this weekend hopefully. (my parents are divorced and my dad lived in Miami.)

As soon as we got to Jordan's apartment I unpacked my things and just sat on the bed still in shock. I still couldn't believe I was kicked out of my house.

That was back in march. Now it is August and I am due any day now. I am so excited but nervous at the same time. On August 3rd I was checked into the hospital for contractions. This is it. No turning back now. Finally after about twelve hours of labor I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on August 4th. I loved her. I have loved her. I was bound and determined to give her the best life I possibly could, I was determined to give her a better life than I had.

Now the REAL struggle begins.

I was getting up at least five times a night from her crying. I didn't care though. I would do anything It took to take care of her. Jordan was a HUGE help too. He would get up with her all the time too. He would rock her to sleep, sometimes for hours before she would finally fall asleep. I had gotten a job at a restaurant to earn money for diapers and anything I may need for her. It was tough to have to work and try take care of her still.

The first day of school was tough. I kept wanting to fall asleep. I hadn't gotten much sleep. Nobody really knew about me having a kid. A few did, but not many. The school uniform hid the little stomach I had while we were in classes. Now I had pretty much lost all of the weight. After school I had to go to work. I dreaded it. I was so tired. Work was FINALLY over. I could go home now and see my baby girl. The first thing I did when I got home is held her.

Cheerleading practice sucked. It felt like it took years! It's hard when your tired. Lexi was still waking up now and then. We were having trouble with money too. Even though both of us had a job. Then trouble struck. Lexi got sick, really sick. Later to find out it was nothing major like they had thought at first. After that whole thing was finally over everyone at school had found out I had a kid. I was constantly harassed. I was called whore, slut, all kinds of things like that. I HATED it! I didn't really care though. I just cared that I took care of my kid. That's all that truly mattered.

Although I did struggle with my daughter and to this day now that she is three years old and I am now 18. I still love her with all my heart. Jordan and I are no longer together and he never got in trouble, but Jordan is still hugely involved in our daughters life.