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lardpiles

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Kelsey's mad at me because I forgot to call her after that night...it's not my fault, I'm a really busy guy with the whole "band" thing and the whole trying-to-find-my-independence-thing-without-sounding-gay thing. So I guess she's not talking to me??? Ok so this is exactly how it went: She told me she was worried out of her mind and that she's can't believe that I didn't tell her that I was okay.

"Will, I was worried out of my mind and I can't believe that you didn't tell me that you were okay!" I think she's overreacting.

"Kelsey, babe, Calm down!" I plead, I really don't feel like fighting with her right now, we've just been fighting so much lately... but anyways, she won't let it go I think she's even on the verge of tearS??? "ARE YOU BLIND?? I'm better!"

"Now, what if I never saw you again? You and your friends are so irresponsible!"

"Yeah, okay mother. Please don't tell me I have to go in time out!" I fake a scared face.

"See? Do you see why I get so upset with you?? It's because you always mock me!"

"Bullshit! You're pathetic."

"PATHETIC?"

"Kelsey, I slipped..." I speak slowlly that way maybe she might be able to digest the words that I tell her a little faster. "On whipped cream. In the back of a truck." She looks aggravated. "It's not like I fell off the space needle or anything, it was just in a truck..."

"I'm not stupid, stop talking to me like I'm retarded!" she snaps at me. Oh yeah, I forgot I was doing that.

"I just want you to hear what I'm saying."

"I'm not deaf either, I hear exactly what you're saying! You're telling me that I'm overreacting because you didn't fall off the space needle!"

"No, I'm telling you that it could've been worst and that you shouldn't take things so seriously."

"Well, someone has to be serious to you, you and you're stupid dumbass friends were slidingNsliding on a truck with a can of whipped cream at 3 in the morning!" she lectures me. "What if you'd never woken up?"

"Hey, it's not like you were waiting there at my bedside when I woke up."

"Because! I told you that I had work, if I missed it for the omnieth time for you I would've gotten fired!"

"I don't care about that though, it's fine."

"Fine if I loose my job?"

"No, find that you didn't wait for me but you shouldn't overreact about the tiniest things. I'm here, I'm alive, I'm okay..." she's angry, I can see it in her eyes. "Okay?"

"Yeah, sure." she folds her arms grudgingly.

"We shouldn't fight anymore, I'm tired." I tell her about to walk to my room. (we were in the living room)

"You NEVER wanna talk!" she complains.

I turn around and look incredulously at her. Is she trying to make me run? What more does she want from me? "Please, let me get five fucking minutes where you just stop nagging at me, where you just STOP TALKING. PLEASE. " I keep my voice under control.

"Fine!" I just won't talk at all! If that's the way you want it that way then boo-fickin-hoo!" she yells back at me.

"OK! JUST TELL ME WHEN YOU'LL START!" and that's when I think about why I'm even still with her, we fight ALL THE TIME and it's fucking annoying. It's like EVERYTHING I say she critizes, this never happened before we broke up.

She shakes her head mad and rambunctiously (i feel so smart for using a big word!).

"Calm down!" I tell her.

"I've put up with your crap for too long! I'm going to take it anymore!" she yells at me. Woa

"Shhh, shhhhh" I walk closer to her, she should calm down before she accidently hurts herself. I put my hand on her shoulder but she pushes it off roughly. All of a sudden I'm worried. She's ganna dump my ass huh? I step back.

"Don't touch me right now, Will!" she fumes. "I'm pissed off at you and I just need to get the hell up out of here." she heads towards the door. I don't know what to say... Should I tell her I love her? No, that'd only make her madder. If I say I'm sorry she'll still leave. Damn, she's got a temper....

So I say nothing and I just watch her leave through my front door aware of the seconds going by.

And that's what happened with Kelsey and why she's not talking to me.

The guys are ganna have a field day with this one, they were in my mom's old room playing poker and probably heard ever word that she just said. Right as I'm thinking this they come down stares laughing amongst themselves, I can't bring myself to leave the scene that just took place. "Whipped..." one of them said. I turn around and face them.

"Are you...okay?" Michael asks cautiously.

I close my eyes and then open them. "Yeah, I'm good." I tell them.

We go into my garage- big surprise- and practice and then get high again. "So...what should we even call this thing?" I ask them looking at the add in my hands. "We need to fill it out but we don't even have a name."

They all think amongst themselves. "Ummm...WILLIAM IS THE WHIPPED ONE!"

"WHO SLIPPED ON WHIPPED CREAM!" Michael Guy giggles.

"Wait, no, how about I'M STUCK WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF DIPSHITS WHO NEED THEIR MOTHERS TO GET FUCKING LAID" I tell them and then start into my own laughter.

They all stared at me. "Shut up." Adam said.

"Hey guys, I just realized," Andy says. "I'm like...the beta."

"What? What's a beta?" Michael asks.

"NO! No, I'm TOTALLY the beta!" Michael Guy says. "You want proof, you can take a peak at my fucking cock!" and then he starts laughing wickedly and huge and I get kind of scared. The rest of us laugh.

"I'm next!" Michael shouts out.

"No, dumbass, there's nothing next!" Adam shouts back a little angry for some reason. "It's only ALPHA and BETA!"

"What's an alpha?" Michael asks.

"It's like the one who's the boss, the first in command." Andy clarifies.

"Like Willy-boy here!" Michael punches me in the arm. "I love you man."

I laugh and it ends up sounding like a hiss or a throaty cough. "I love you too man." I look up at all their beautiful faces. "I love ALL OF YOu guys!" I realize. They all cheer. "No, seriously! Who needs that girl man, all I need is you guys! Then I'll be complete!"

"HUGS!" we all gather in for a group hug and then call it a night.