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jennaferz

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<div style="border:1px #ccc solid; background-image:url('/images/ray.gif'); font-family:arial; width:200px; padding:5px;"><center><div style="font-size:20px;"><a href="/story/jennaferz/35020">Broken Silhouettes [[18]]</a></div><table><tr><td width="50"><div style="color:#2CC362; font-size:15px; padding-top:4px; background-image:url('/images/profratebg.gif'); background-repeat:no-repeat; width:44px; height:26px; text-align:center; font-weight:bold; vertical-align:middle; padding-top:8px; padding-left:1px; " valign="top">26</div></td><td><div style="height:100px;width:100px; padding-top:9px; background-repeat:no-repeat; background-image:url(/images/storyCover.png);"><a href="/story/jennaferz/35020"><div style="margin-left:9px; __padding:0px; height:90px; width:70px; background-repeat:no-repeat; background-image:url('http://www.testriffic.com/storyfiles/35020.jpg');"></div></a></div></td></tr></table></center></div>

+ 21	Broken Silhouettes [[19]]
+ 26	Broken Silhouettes [[18]]
+ 21	Broken Silhouettes [[17]]
+ 26	Broken Silhouettes [[16]]
+ 22	Blood-Stained Lace :: Crashing Perfection
+ 33	Broken Silhouettes [[15]]
+ 33	Broken Silhouettes [[14]]
+ 21	Blood-Stained Lace
+ 31	Broken Silhouettes [[13]]
+ 34	Broken Silhouettes [[12]]
+ 31	Broken Silhouettes [[11]]
+ 36	Broken Silhouettes [[10]]
+ 31	Broken Silhouettes [[9]]
+ 31	Broken Silhouettes [[8]]
+ 19	Tainted Memories
+ 34	Broken Silhouettes [[7]]
+ 32	Broken Silhouettes [[6]]
+ 32	Broken Silhouettes [[5]]
+ 22	"Unexpected Love" 35
+ 29	Broken Silhouettes {{4}}

Life went on.

Deni pushed all that had happened out of her mind—or she tried. It was more difficult than she had anticipated. During the daytime, she was calm, cool, and collected. No one who looked at her could have guessed that anything was wrong.

But during the night she made exceptions.

She didn’t cry. But she didn’t try to hide what she was feeling. The pain came in waves, racking her body as she just let it come.

******

Ding dong.

Deni stood from the table, abandoning her snack of cookies and milk, and went to answer the door. She was still wary, and so she peeked around the corner before answering; when she saw it was only the FedEx man, she headed for the door and swung it open.

“Hi,” she said brightly, smiling at the young man who stood there.

“Hi,” he replied. He didn’t even look at her as he shoved a box into her arms and held out the device for her to sign. “Sign here, please.”

Unruffled by his rudeness, she signed it and handed the pen back to him. “Thank you very much.”

He glanced up at her and smiled slightly. “You’re welcome.” He turned and started down the steps, and she closed the door and went back to her snack. As she picked up her cookie and began taking a bite, her eye caught the name on the box and she groaned.

Taylor. God, why hadn’t she guessed.

She pushed the box away, her happy mood vanishing. Apparently when she said she never wanted to see him again, he had taken it just that way. Why hadn’t she remembered to mention that she never wanted to hear from him again either? She set the cookie down and pushed her milk away. No matter how much she hated Taylor, she had never been able to resist a package. It was just one of her weaknesses.

She reached for a knife and slit the tape down the crease. Slowly she pulled the flaps open and stared at the thing sitting in the box.

It was a teddy bear.

She stared at it…and stared at it some more. A teddy bear…she picked the box up and carried it into her room, where she stared around at the various teddy bears she had accumulated over the years, all from a secret admirer. She had shoved away the thought of a secret admirer, thinking it was only her father trying to make her feel as though there were someone out there for her, trying to make her feel that she was not the fat, ugly loser she believed she was.

She set the box down and, as it tipped over, the bear and a note slipped out.

She set the bear with her others and slowly picked up the note. Lowering herself into a seated position on the edge of her bed, she began to read.

Denise,

There’s a lot that you don’t understand. I wanted to explain, but I don’t want to put any more pain into your life as I have already unintentionally caused enough. Your father knows the story. Maybe someday, if you want to hear it, he can explain it to you.

I wanted to tell you that yes, all along it was me. I’ve always admired you. I know you thought it was just because I thought you were pretty, but honestly that’s what gave me the guts to approach you. I know it’s sort of backwards—most guys find it harder to approach a pretty girl—but I’ve always felt more comfortable around them. But all these years, I’ve watched you…and all these years, I’ve seen someone I wanted to be with. But all I could do was send you those bears and watch as, the next day, you came to school—your face lit with happiness—and I imagined that I was the cause.

I wish I could tell you what really happened. But I won’t put that burden upon you unless you choose to put it upon yourself. I wanted to tell you that I’m leaving. I’m going to the East Coast, New York City probably, for two reasons: one, I intend to hold up to my promise that you will never see me again; and two, I think it’s time for me to move on and start over because seeing you every day and not being able to be with you would kill me. I intend to fly out tomorrow.

I know this may be the last thing I ever say to you, and I want it to hold meaning, so…

Denise, I love you so much and I’m sorry that I hurt you this way.

I love you,

Taylor

And just that like that, she was crying.

All this time that she’d managed to push those tears back, all this time she’d managed to keep her eyes dry and her heart hard—they were for nothing. She should have known it would never have lasted, should have known she was as weak and vulnerable as anyone else, should have known she did not have that kind of strength.

She stood up from her bed and put the note on her nightstand. Straightening her shoulders and stopping her tears, she went to the door of her father’s study and raised her hand to knock.

She hesitated.

Did she really want to know?

Her hand was poised in midair, fingers just inches from the thick wood panel of the door, the only barrier that stood between her and finally learning the truth…

And then another tear fell, and just like that she knew that she had to know.

Her knuckles rapped sharply against the door.

“Come in,” her father called, and, breathing deeply, she let the door swing open to reveal her father, sitting at a desk behind mounds of paperwork, a frenzied expression on his face.

“Oh,” she said tentatively. “Not a good time?”

“I always have time for my children,” her father said, smiling at her. “Sit down, Den.”

Slowly she took a seat in front of his desk. He moved the papers aside so that there was a space through which she could see his face. “What did you need to talk about?”

“I wanted to know the truth,” she told him quietly. “About Taylor.”

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