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jennaferz

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“You love me?” he repeated, his voice soft, his eyes soft, everything so soft---

But she couldn’t bring herself to say it again.

“No,” she said quietly. “No, Taylor, I’m sorry. I don’t.”

The softness hardened as he turned away from her. “Well, come on in,” he said, his voice brittle, “and I’ll show you to your room.”

“I can find someplace else,” she told him, avoiding his eyes just as he was avoiding hers, and consequently their eyes met. Instantly they both blushed and turned away again. “Really, it’s no problem.”

“No, it’s fine,” he said shortly. “Stay here. I already offered and you distrust me enough already.”

“I don’t distrust you, I just--”

“Whenever you’re ready to come in,” he interrupted, getting out and slamming the car door shut, “I’ll show you where you can sleep.”

“I’ll come in now,” she said meekly, slowly climbing out of the truck. She followed him up the stairs, staring at the back of his black-frosted head, and stared at her toes. Why was she so afraid to admit that she was starting to love him? Why couldn’t she just say it?

But she knew why. She didn’t want to risk the first real friendship she had ever had.

It was just as Taylor said. She was afraid.

She stared around as they entered the house. A blonde-haired woman sat at the table, and she turned as they entered. “Hi, sweetie! Who’s this?”

Taylor ignored her and walked right past her up the stairs. The woman bit her lip, smiled hesitantly at Deni, and gestured helplessly after Taylor.

“I just don’t know what to do with him anymore,” his mother said weakly. “He won’t listen to me. He acts like…oh, listen to me, rambling on. I’m Marissa, Taylor’s mother. Who are you?”

“Denise. I’m…a friend of Taylor’s. I’ve been tutoring him in math.”

“God knows he needs it,” Marissa sighed. “He’s just…uncontrollable lately. He doesn’t care.”

Taylor reappeared at the foot of the stairs, looking annoyed. “Are you coming, Denise?”

She turned to him, ready to submit and say yes, she was right behind him, but the anger in his expression both startled and annoyed her. “I’m talking to your mother,” she said coolly, “and I’ll come when I like.”

He stared at her, a startled look in his eyes. Slowly the surprise faded to irritation, and he shrugged. “Whatever. Marissa can show you to your room then. I’m going to bed.” He whirled around and ran up the stairs, and Deni stared after him, her heart thudding like a stampede of wild horses.

She turned back to Marissa, her cheeks flushed, and Marissa smiled sympathetically at her. “I see he doesn’t treat you much better than he does me.”

“He’s just sad,” Deni said, the open honesty of her voice causing Marissa to look at her differently.

“Sad about what?”

Deni blushed and stared at her feet. “I don’t think that I’m the one who should tell you that.”

“Well, Taylor won’t,” Marissa acknowledged, “but if you feel that it’s not your right, I can respect that.”

“Thank you.”

“But I think I can guess,” Marissa added slyly. “He’s in love with you, isn’t he?”

Deni’s cheeks reddened, but she didn’t answer.

“And you love him too,” she continued, a soft smile on her face, “but you won’t admit it. And he believes you don’t, so he’s sad.”

“I don’t love him,” Deni protested.

Marissa only looked at her.

“Okay,” she whispered, “I do. But I can’t take the chance. Anyone who’s ever said they love me have either hurt me or left me.”

“Taylor won’t,” Marissa said quietly. “He’s loyal, one of the most loyal people I know.” Her face cracked into a cheerless smile. “Unless you’re his mother.”

“I just can’t take the chance,” Deni repeated. “I don’t know if I could handle being hurt again.”

Marissa reached out and pulled her into a tight hug. “Did you know when you first walked in that door today, my first thought was that you looked like the saddest girl I had ever seen?”

Deni felt a minuscule tear fall.

“You’re too  young to carry such a burden, Denise,” Marissa whispered in her ear. “I hate to see the things Taylor is doing, the burden that he’s putting on himself, but he won’t let me help him. I try to talk to him. I try reasoning, I try shouting, I’ve tried everything. But he won’t listen. Now here comes you, a girl who can understand him, and I want to ask you to try to make him listen.”

“He won’t listen to me,” Deni answered, brushing this aside, trying to pretend that it didn’t touch her heart. “It would have to be someone he loved.”

“He does love you,” Marissa told her. “I can see it every time he looks at you.”

That was when Deni heard something from behind her, and she turned to see Taylor standing at the foot of the stairs. With one look at his face she knew he had heard every word.

“You do love me,” he whispered.