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<div style="border:1px #ccc solid; background-image:url('/images/ray.gif'); font-family:arial; width:200px; padding:5px;"><center><div style="font-size:20px;"><a href="/story/irwinwe/40176">Professor Kane 9</a></div><table><tr><td width="50"><div style="color:#2CC362; font-size:15px; padding-top:4px; background-image:url('/images/profratebg.gif'); background-repeat:no-repeat; width:44px; height:26px; text-align:center; font-weight:bold; vertical-align:middle; padding-top:8px; padding-left:1px; " valign="top">14</div></td><td><div style="height:100px;width:100px; padding-top:9px; background-repeat:no-repeat; background-image:url(/images/storyCover.png);"><a href="/story/irwinwe/40176"><div style="margin-left:9px; __padding:0px; height:90px; width:70px; background-repeat:no-repeat; background-image:url('http://www.testriffic.com/storyfiles/40176.jpg');"></div></a></div></td></tr></table></center></div>

+ 4	Halcyon Fire
+ 7	Professor Kane 12 (edited)
+ 3	Professor Kane 9 (edited)
+ 9	Professor Kane 12
+ 8	Professor Kane 11
+ 11	Professor Kane 10
+ 14	Professor Kane 9
+ 11	Professor Kane 8
+ 4	Gainsay Who Dare 8
+ 3	Gainsay Who Dare 7
+ 3	Gainsay Who Dare 6
+ 4	Gainsay Who Dare 5
+ 3	Gainsay Who Dare 4
+ 4	Gainsay Who Dare 3
+ 4	Gainsay Who Dare 2
+ 5	Gainsay Who Dare
+ 13	Professor Kane 7
+ 12	Professor Kane 6
+ 16	Professor Kane 5
+ 13	Professor Kane 4

 

Class the following Monday was a disaster.  Not a disaster literally, but for the twisty facets of my mind and the deep-sea paths of my heart, it was a different story.  Perhaps it was because I had to stare directly into Kane's Eden eyes the entire time he spoke not ardent, passionate speech, like he had a few days before, but rather platonic nonsense.  Or then again, perhaps it was because Iain was sitting directly behind me, and every time he inadvertently kicked my chair or took a deep breath, my conduit with Kane did a 360° and made me instead very aware of him.  My aunt had always warned me not to ever get involved with a co-worker, because if things were to end badly between me and that person, I would still be stuck working in the same place with them, and it would simply be too bad if I was unhappy.  Well, whoever created that advice should have considered that the situation could be just as bad if a student got involved with his or her teacher, or with another student for that matter.   Because it is the same scenario; if the shit were to hit the fan with me and either Kane or Iain, I would be in an eternal state of miserable distraction, forever unable to concentrate, because they would always be in the same vicinity, drawing me in.  Perhaps if there was only one man I was dealing with, I could better compartmentalize my life, but dealing with two vastly different men and the stress of my work was simply too much.  I felt insane.  Lovestoned. 

 

"Alright then, tha' is all for today" I caught the tale end of Kane's lecture to the class, and turned my attention completely on him again, instead of on my rising panic.  "And doona forget to look on your syllabus to see when your final papers are due...I willna accept them late" he finished, winking and half-smiling.  The class snickered, knowing that he wouldn't have cared one way or another when they turned in their papers.  He was one of those professors that didn't believe in standing over his class with a stick and requiring them to come to class or to turn in their work.  He instead expected his students to do the right thing of their own will.  No one really had to turn in their papers on time, but they all wanted to, because strangely, his approval was highly and unanimously sought, perhaps because everyone secretly wished to appeal to his detached nature.  However, the majority of them only witnessed his cordial and unaffected Eden green gaze.  A select few incited the kryptonite.  And hopefully only I would be the one to incite the green glow of his passion. 

 

I realized then that I was becoming rather possessive of Kane, even though we were in no way exclusive.  I silently became irritated with myself after making this epiphany, for I had already learned throughout the years that possessiveness in relationships was a very futile condition.  It showed either that a) you had a trust issue, or b) you felt insecure and incapable of maintaining reciprocal feelings from the party of your interest.  So in essence, possessiveness was very unproductive, because a person was going to feel how they were going to feel without any help from you.  It was true, I supposed, that it would at least show people that you cared.  I remembered secretly liking those times when a guy got a little possessive over me, because it made me feel important.  But for the most part, I had learned that possessiveness pushed people away.  One could not fence anyone else's feelings for them...so their best bet was just to let them go and see what happened.  They may not want to go anywhere.  They may fly away, only to come back again later.  Or they may just fly away.  I knew all of this.  I had heard it countless times.  But I was by nature an "all or nothing" girl, and when I wanted something, I wanted it all.  I was growing tired of Kane and I only showing our affinity behind closed doors.  I felt his job possessed him more than did I, which was the right thing, and the honorable thing, but the thing my jealous heart hated most. 

 

"Goodbye, lovely" came a rich baritone from behind me, interrupting my runaway-train thoughts and making my stomach jump.  Iain stood and smiled discreetly at me, brushing against me gently and purposefully before he continued out the door of the classroom.  I grinned back despite myself, and shot him a sidelong glance.  He was bold even in his discreetness, I noticed, and I shook my head.  Or at least he was bold in what he imagined was his discreetness, for some would have argued that his discreetness really was not successfully discreet.  Everything he did had some semblance of luridness to it, which made him stand out as vibrant, purposeful, and direct. 

 

Vic finished packing her books and came over to my desk to wait on me.  I heard her heave a great sigh as I was putting my pens into my purse, and I looked up at her sympathetically. 

"Coffee later?" I asked her, with a knowing quirk of my mouth.    

 

"God yes" she answered, "today has been shit."

 

"Oh no, what's going on?" I questioned, concerned. 

 

"Andy and I had a huge fight" she started, visibly shaken, "I doona know...my ex-boyfriend apparently said some things to him, and now he's upset."

 

"Ah" I said, trying to ignore the fact that I saw Kane gathering his class notes and placing them into his briefcase at his desk, "possession seems to be an endless problem, doesn't it?"

 

"Tell me about it" she said, rolling her eyes.  Kane's briefcase snapped shut and I saw him pick it up and move in our direction.  My pulse quickened inadvertently. 

 

I stood and began to walk out of the classroom with Vic.  She was saying something, but I heard nothing now but jumbled jargon.  I was attuned only to the fact that Kane MacAllister was walking behind me now, and the woodsy scent of him was engulfing me.  I would succumb to him like skin to poison ivy, and just because there was no way I could force myself to be immune to him. 

 

Just as we were walking out the door, I felt his finger run down my spine, in a truly discreet and sensual way, as he had no loud qualities about him as did Iain.  His qualities were grandiose, yes, but more elusive, deeper than the superficial layer, and therefore his ability to emit powerful messages in discreetness and subtlety came easily.  My breath stopped with the contact, and I had to control my facial features, as I did not want to reveal to Vic that anything nonstandard was going on between the two of us.  Vic pushed the door open and walked out first, and in the brief moment that she was occupied, I sought Kane's eyes.  Some time between his ending lecture and now, they had gone from platonic green to glowing green, and the intensity of them penetrated my very soul.  His jaw twitched, I swallowed, and then his eyes motioned toward the ceiling, as if to indicate that he wanted to see me in his office.  I nodded quickly, and then turned around again, just as Vic held open the door for both of us. 

 

"Thank you Victoria" he smiled cordially, before extending his arm to hold out the door for me. 

 

"Oh, not a problem" she returned, "see you tomorrow."  Then she turned to me, likely to ask about when we were having our coffee outing. 

 

"Hey I'll call you about the coffee" I told her, "I have to talk with Dr. MacAllister and then we'll meet up, is that alright?" I asked her, hoping she wouldn't assume anything. 

 

"Perfect" she smiled, "I have some errands to run anyway.  Will two hours be enough time?"

 

"Great" I said, hardly able to focus, "at 4pm then." 

 

I watched her recede to a vanishing point in the hallway.  Then I turned towards where Kane stood watching me. 

 

"Shall we?" he asked with a purposeful gaze, motioning towards the stairs.  I nodded and walked forward, thinking the restrained passion between us too strong for his scant words to be awkward.  Everything between us just seemed right, so I could sit in silence with him and feel like we belonged.  The concordant rhythm of the soles of our shoes was the only audible sound made in the hallway as we climbed to the third floor, but the tension rose so as to deceive what was outwardly heard, and it drummed chaotically behind closed mouths. 

 

His key unlocked the door, and we stepped inside his office.  The scent of him emanated from all that was within, and I was very quickly losing grasp of ability to appear calm and apathetic.  My sensuality would override these emotions very easily if he did not say something to take my mind away from our simmering ardor. 

 

"You, uh, left these at my apartment" he said, his deep voice penetrating my soul as easily as a hot knife sliced through butter.  He handed me first my textbook, and then my highlighter.  Then he rested his hip against his desk and watched me. 

 

"Oh" I said, huffing slightly with laughter, "yes, I know.  I was going to come by and get them but I...I guess I didn't know...well I was afraid to" I finished lamely but honestly, looking away in the process.  I found the whiskey decanter with my eyes.  A shot of whiskey might do me good right now, I thought to myself.  Then I looked into his eyes again. 

 

His jaw twitched, but his eyes remained in their straight stare.  "I'm sorry for making you leave that way, Ellen, shutting you out like tha'" he said, brows drawn now.  "Doona ye understand why it had to be tha' way?" 

 

I nodded, relieved to hear him say he had not wanted to make me leave, but rather felt that he had to in order to preserve us both from going too far. 

 

He exhaled, relieved as well.  Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring for which I had been searching high and low for the past few days. 

 

"Ah I've been looking for that" I smiled, pleased that its whereabouts were no longer a mystery.   

 

"A chalcedony" he muttered quietly, admiring the stone, "used to build the walls of heaven."

 

"That's right" I answered, "how did you know that?  I have to explain its purpose to everyone else."

 

He sat pensively for a moment, as if he were deciding whether or not to tell me a secret.  I wished deeply that he would, as I longed to know his darkest secrets.  But I would not press him.  Sometimes pressing a person made them even less apt to tell you things. 

 

"My, ah..." he started quietly, struggling, "my mother had a ring similar to this one...with the chalcedony stone." I grew very quiet.  This was it.  He was really opening up to me, and without my pressure.  I became very grave, and I looked him in the eyes so as to make him feel I was there for support and that I understood his past pain.  He continued, feeling encouraged by my expression. 

 

"When she and my father got married she...tied it to a sterling chain and gave it to my father to wear around his neck."  He paused, and I swallowed, the story causing a lump to immediately rise in my throat.  But I did not speak.  "He has never taken it off" he continued.  "It makes him feel she is still here.  And whenever he looks at it he says he can still see the green-blue color of her eyes." 

 

He had ended on a whisper, deeply affected by the memory of his father's love for his mother, and my own eyes had blurred with tears as I sensed how much it meant to him.  I quickly reached up to stop the one droplet of liquid that had already started to fall.  "Well then I suppose her chalcedony has deeper meaning than does mine" I stated and smiled, forcibly recovering from my emotional moment. 

 

"Nay, her chalcedony stone has found its purpose.  Yours just has yet to find it" he corrected, and then he looked directly into my eyes. 

 

What if that purpose is you?  My thoughts questioned, and I again felt the sting of unshed tears.  I was falling so helplessly in love with him.  So in love that I felt the urge to stand here and cry from want to possess his heart and for him to possess mine.  I looked down, and then took a deep, albeit shattered, breath, composing myself. 

 

"Your eyes match the stone as weel, didna ye know?" he asked with a pensive smile.  "Like hers, the green-blue.  You look like her, actually.  Or at least you look like the pictures."

 

"Oh" I whispered, "I...well I am honored."  I cleared my throat a bit, my voice becoming stronger again, "I'm sure she was an amazing woman."

 

"As are you" he stated simply, staring at me decisively.  Most of the time Kane was mysterious in his speech, so when he was direct, his words held ten times the meaning they normally did. 

 

"Thank you" I whispered again, "And you...you are an amazing man, Kane" I finished, meaning it, trying to reciprocate my feelings towards him, but doing it in the simplest way possible, because it was all that I could do to keep my voice from wavering.  I always cried when I was moved.  Now was certainly no different. 

 

His jaw muscles danced as he stared at me.  He looked down at the ring he held in his hand, and then, rising from the desk upon which he rested, he walked closer until he was standing just before me.  He took my left hand in his and held it, studying it, running his fingertips softly across my knuckles, branding them deeply forever.  Then, slowly, and without saying a word, he placed the ring back where it belonged; on my ring finger.  His eyes stayed downcast for a moment, and it was as if neither of us breathed.  His action was so symbolic of his commitment to me that I felt my heart no longer really belonged in my chest cavity, but in that ring with his, like its purpose had just then been found.  He looked into my eyes then, just as aware as I now that our passion would defeat our logic again. 

 

"Thank you" he whispered in answer to my earlier complement, his hand gently cupping my face, "perhaps it is because of you." 

 

I did not have the chance to stop the tear that fell after he spoke those words.  He had leaned forward of his own will and kissed it away before I could move.  His lips remained on my cheek, stubble around them rasping against my skin and making me tingly and faint with a passion stronger than I thought I could handle.  My chest was rising and falling helplessly, and I could feel the magnetic force again.  It was impossible for his lips to remain on my cheek when the equal and opposite force of my own lips were so near.  And so it was me that sought him, too impatient to wait, and too fearful that he would resist me if I didn't act just then.  I tilted my head until my lips were touching his.  We stood there like that, lips touching, our breathing shattered and uneven, for moments that seemed to stop time.  And then with overwhelming fervor he crashed his mouth down upon mine, again and again, his arms coming hungrily around me, just as my own possessed every inch of his broad back that they could, my fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt.  Our quiet and simmering passion had recently become, now that we had touched one another, sheer madness. 

 

I didn't realize we had been moving backward until my legs collided with his desk.  I inhaled with surprise, expecting him to stop there, but his forward momentum kept on and on, until I found myself leaning back onto the desk, and he onto me.  With one foul swoop of his arm he cleared the books and papers unto the floor, and then with a hand firmly placed around my waist, he jerked me upwards until my legs lifted to straddle him, and my back had fallen against the desk.  I cried out, the movement both shocking and impassioning me, but when I felt the hard planes of his warm body settle more fully between my legs and over my own body, I could only gasp, and before I knew it, my hands were clutching at his waist, in an endless effort to bring him closer, and my back was arching, in an endless effort to be nearer.  He instinctually moved against me, playing along with my sensual signals, and I felt myself fall into a haze that only involved our breathing and the rhythm our passion was creating.  He should have been heavy, given that he was positioned directly on top of me, but I welcomed his weight, thinking I rather loved being pinned underneath him, possessed by him, and it made my reactions all the wilder.  We kissed deeply, and roughly, and in perfect rhythm to the movements of our bodies.  Abruptly he released a pent-up cry that sounded something like a cross between a moan and a growl.  He then reached under my skirt and grabbed my behind, lifting my hips into rough contact with his own.  I cried out, my head falling back onto the desk and my eyes closing in disbelief at this feeling of never being strong enough to resist him. 

 

"Kane" I somehow gathered enough willpower to whisper, "Kane what is happening?"

 

I felt him stop his progress above me, but his breath and his heart were still pulsing wildly.  He collapsed his head against the dip in my neck, in attempts to let his mind catch up to the rest of him.  "What is happening" he whispered fervently, "is tha' resisting you is impossible."

 

I brought my hand up to his dark hair, and ran my fingers through it, gently forcing him to meet my gaze.  "What are we going to do, Kane?" I asked him, with trembling lips.  I had made a vow to give my body to no man but he whose soul I possessed, and I believed, somehow, that Kane's soul was my soul, and so I was ready for him.  But here?  In his office?  Where we could be caught at any moment by the overly officious passerby? 

 

"I doona know, lass" he answered me, at just as much of an impasse.  "God help me, I doona know."  Slowly, he lifted his body from mine, and when his feet were settled on the floor again, he lifted me into an upright position, trying to smooth out my disheveled shirt for me, and tucking my hair behind my ear.  I felt the warming light from his window as it poured over my skin, as if, paradoxically, I sat in a realm of celestial light.  He looked into my eyes then. 

 

"All I do know" he muttered as he continued to look into my lighted gaze, "is tha' your eyes are heaven."  

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