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"Am I interrupting?" Iain asked as he bored his eyes frostily into Kane.

***

"No, not at all" I said with extreme jubilation, attempting to prevent the two men from behaving like two stallions circling each other before battle, Kane always enigmatically a step ahead, but Iain fuming smoke and always in pursuit.  I began chatting aimlessly, doing anything to prevent them from getting nasty.  

"In fact, Iain" I continued, chatting quicker than I normally did, "I've been meaning to ask you why you didn't wear red tonight.  You asked me what color dress I was wearing so that you could pick a vest to match me, but you choose a green vest instead of a red one.  I mean it's no big deal, but I was just wondering.  Were they out of red vests?"  I added a head tilt to the end of my question for emphasis.

I saw Kane smiling in wry amusement at my diversion techniques as he turned to beckon the bartender for whiskey with his empty glass.  Luckily, Iain didn't catch it. He had entered the scene scowling, but now was smiling a bit, seemingly feeding into my attempted distraction.  

"No, they werena out of red vests.  I chose the green one.  And I rather thought it did match, as Christmas colors are red and green, and our personas are perfect opposites.  Opposites attract, didna ye know?"  

My lip quirked.  The man was insatiable.  "Yes, so they say."  I was pensive.  "You really thought about this didn't you?" I asked him, wondering if, yet again, he really was being more sincere to me than he had been to his other women.  Maybe he didn't see me as just a diversion after all.  

Before he could answer, however, someone nudged me and I turned to find the bartender inquiring about my empty glass as well.

"Wha' do ye like to drink, then?  I'll pay" Iain offered from my right side.  

"Give the ledy a dram of whiskey" I heard Kane's voice project deeply from my left as he tossed the bartender a few pounds.  I turned to look at him and he smiled and winked at me, remembering our office conversation, where I had invited myself to a dram of his own whiskey.  Only he knew it was my drink of choice, and he was subtly reveling in our secret.  That was how he liked to maneuver - subtly but pointedly.  I smiled and winked back, discreetly, but not so discreetly that Iain missed my approval.

"Make tha' two drams" Iain piped up from the right, tossing the bartender an equal number of pounds.  Then he gave Kane a hard look.  That was how he liked to maneuver - audaciously but arbitrarily.  

I raised my eyebrows.  What did they think I was - a drinking machine?  No, this little whiskey-purchasing match wasn't about me.  This was about who out-bought who.  And right now, despite the fact that I was going to be slightly drunker in a few moments, they were even.  I rolled my eyes, more to myself than to either one of them, and silently thanked the Lord I wasn't a lightweight.

I drank the two drams, having no problem with the firsts but wincing slightly on the second.  "In about one minute" I started, gasping, "I'll be really sorry I just did that."

"I thought you said Scots-whiskey was weak" Kane said to me, smile tugging at his lips.  

I looked up at him, whiskey igniting my blood like gasoline ignites a steady fire.  "I lied" I whispered, head whirling from a combination of his green eyes and the drinks.  His lips finished curling upwards.  

Music began, and people rushed to the dance floor.  Iain put his arm around my waist as if to claim me for the dance.  I was his date, after all, and dancing with him was obligatory.  "Yes you'd better have a strong arm, Iain" I warned him with a smile, "because my head will be spinning in a moment, and I am not a small woman."

Iain laughed and pulled me tighter, and as he led me towards the dance floor, I glanced back at Kane.  The subtly sensual smile was still gracing his face.  In my mind, I'll be dancing with you, I willed him to believe, and I came close to believing he had heard my thoughts.  He toasted me slightly, and then he took a swig of his whiskey, eyes not leaving mine, even as I turned to dance.  

It was then that I realized that fairy tales were terrible.  I used to think that nothing could be more wonderful than being that woman who drew the attention of every man when she walked into a room.  I surely did not draw the attention of every man, but I did draw the attention of both Kane and Iain, which was enough to make me feel like that woman I'd always dreamed of being.  And if it was wonderful, it was just horrible.  I didn't know how to compose myself so that neither of them would be offended or mad at the other.  I knew I favored Kane, but there was always something Iain would do that would convince me I could favor him too.  It would have helped me if Iain had been a bad dancer.  It turned out, conversely, that he was the best dancer I'd ever been with, and once we began dancing, our bodies in surprisingly perfect accord, Kane did not cross my mind for a moment.  I facetiously convinced myself at one point in the evening that the game of love was so despicable that I was going to become either a lesbian or a nun and just forget about men altogether.  That lasted for about three seconds, when I would catch Kane's sultry gaze from some mysterious place across the room or feel Iain's body move against mine in some clandestinely sexual fashion.  Tonight would have been absolutely wonderful, I told myself, if I had been only one man's object of affection.