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"Great, Iain" I said sarcastically as we rode in his car to the St. Andrews Christmas Eve Ball, "so you invite me to go with you to this party, and you don't even have tickets for us.  That's great."  I shook my head, and then much to my amazement, I heard him start to laugh.

I looked at him incredulously.  "Oh I'm glad you think it's funny.  You'd better have a grand scheme in mind because I don't exactly feel like being handcuffed at the door by the...the...whatever you call the British police people."   

"Pigs?" he offered cheerfully.

"Whatever" I said hatefully.  A moment of aggravating silence stretched out before us, and I could almost feel him grinning to himself in the driver's seat.  "What is your plan anyway?" I continued.

"Och, tae sneak in through the side entrance" he said, just as cheerfully and nonchalantly as before.  

"What?  Sneak in?  Oh that's good.  It'll be on the new tomorrow, just you wait...'two St. Andrews doctoral candidates were caught sneaking into the St. Andrews Christmas party last night...charges will be determined at a later date...it is estimated that they will lose all their credibility and positions...for now the two students are being held in prison...hoping not to be ass-raped by criminals with HIV'."

Iain exploded with shocked laughter over my inappropriate comment, and I smiled falsely through my partial panic-attack.  "Christ, Ellen, live a little.  I do this every year, so I know how to get in without getting caught, aye?  'Ave ye never done anything beyond the pale?" he asked me, visibly riled.

I rolled my eyes upward as thought about it.  No, I haven't I thought to myself.  And I secretly regretted it.  I loved the idea of doing outlandish things, I just couldn't ever make myself actually do them.  I gave him a lame answer.  "I mean...well...I toilet-papered my brother's car one time...does that count?"

He shook his head and huffed with amazed laughter.  "How can ye live being so uptight all the time?  Not trust, not taking chances.  'Ave ye never gotten sick from being drunk?  'Ave ye never gone sky-diving?  'Ave ye never gone over 100 mph on an open highway?  Jesus, Ellen, 'ave ye never even jumped off a fuckin' high-dive?"

"Yes, I have jumped off a high-dive, damnit" I said irritably, "I even jumped off a waterfall once."

"Och, God save us all, how tall was it?  Two feet?" I knew he was teasing, but I was in no mood for it.  

"Try 25" I spat, downright pissed, "and just because I don't defy death with reckless behavior doesn't mean I'm not living."

"Tha' isna wha' I meant, Ellen, and ye know it.  Are ye living life to its fullest potential or are ye holding yourself back?  No, ye doona 'ave tae perform reckless deeds tae live life to its fullest, but the thrill ye recieve when ye've surmounted the tasks makes ye realize how bluidy righteous it is tae just let go.  Letting go is wha' I'm talking about 'ere.  And Ellen, ye need tae let go."  Iain finished with fervor, and the fact tha the had a decent, surprisingly accurate, comback in direct regards to my persona made me even angrier.  I could feel my cheeks glowing hotly, my breath quickening and my blood beginning to simmer.  My temper problem, as my mother had once told me, was unavoidable.  I had inherited it from both sides.  And negative criticism, even though it could at time be constructive, rarely sat well with me.  It was because I took too much to heart.  

"Well, Mr. Ross, it seems you've missed your calling.  Since you're such an expert on my lackluster life and my flawed character then why don't you just go get your psychiatric degree and talk to other people about how badly you think they suck!  It's certainly your business, isn't it?"  I had kept my voice calmly clipped at the beginning of my statement, but couldn't keep it that way.  The longer I spoke, the more vehement my voice became, until I had worked myself up into a fine rage.  

Then I heard him start laughing, and I looked over at him with a look that could have caused a coffin-dweller's bones to rattle.  To my dismay, and further annoyance, he laughed harder.  

"Your nostrils flare when ye're angry" he said on a chuckle, "ye look like a fiery red mare preparing to duel a wolf."  

If that wolf is you, I thought, then gladly.  But when I didn't say anything, he stopped his teasing.  

"Look, Ellen, I'm sorry for offending you.  But just let it go, aye?  Just trust me for once."

I let out a disbelieving laugh.  "Trust you?  Oh right, I'll trust you.  Sneaking into a party where everyone else paid 25 lbs (equivalent to $50) to get in sounds like a great preamble to trust."

I could hear his small breath of laughter from the other side of the car, but after that he was quiet, and we stayed that way for the majority of the drive.  When we finally arrived in the parking lot, the guilt I carried from verbally attacking him, especially after he had attempted to, in his mind, help me, surmounted, and I had to get it off my conscience.

"I'm sorry" I suddenly said in the darkness, breaking our long silence.  I saw him look towards me, brows drawn but mouth quirked, as if he had not really heard my apology, and if he had heard it, was pleased to have had the privilege.  It was an expression somewhat in between curiosity and amusement.  I averted my gaze and exhaled.  

"I am" I repeated, "I lost my temper, which is...not mature...and I jumped all over you after you tried to...concern yourself with my well-being."  I couldn't look him in the eye, and I was struggling to find keen words, so I just stopped talking and studied my French manicure and played with the antique ring I wore on the ring finger of my left hand.

Surprisingly, his answer was just as juvenile.  "Aye, well, I could 'ave approached it all in a less...offensive way."  

He paused for a moment, and I looked briefly into his silver eyes.  I caught him begin to smile, and I prepared myself for the unpredictable devilment that was likely to project from his mouth. 

"Although...not tae piss ye off again...and doona take this the wrong way...but should I be ashamed tha' every time I make ye angry...and ye get all wild-eyed and passionate...I just want tae bluidy kiss you?"

"What?" I projected on a half-laugh, half-gasp.  He shrugged and then grinned at me.

"It's true" he affirmed, as if I needed to hear it again.  

"Then God help me" I muttered to myself, not exactly knowing what it meant, maybe because I had suddenly become rather nervous.

"Too late for tha'," he said, and my eyes widened as I saw him abruptly lean towards me, like a determined animal coming in for its kill, except he had a small smile on his face and a glitter in his eyes.  His hand grasped the back of my neck and pulled me to him until his lips were a mere inch from my own.  A jolt of adrenalin pumped into my blood and my stomach whirled in panic.  But in the next second's time, I felt something else ignite lower down in my abdomen, provided by his masculine nearness.  Damn him, I thought to myself, thinking my body an absolute traitor to its prized companion...my mind.  I knew that if he did kiss me, and after I had given up my fight, I would submit to him just as easily as would shameless whore.  And I hated it.  I gritted my teeth and tried to jerk away from his grasp, but it only made my lips angle towards his more, and I exhaled angrily.  Then he smiled down at me.  He wasn't going to kiss me.  He had just wanted to see riled he could get me, how much he could make me feel I was living outside the box.  Bravo, Iain, I thought to myself, it worked.  Thinking I had him figured out now, I decided to become cheeky.

"Wouldn't want to mess up my lip gloss would you?" I asked him on a haughty tone, "Any date of yours must look her best at all times.  You, libertine of all St. Andrews, wouldn't be able to live with yourself if your date had a single flaw."  I saw the grin leave his face, replaced by an anger of his own.  I had gotten under Kane's skin before, but it had been much harder to get under Iain's.  Iain had always been seemingly invincible to verbal and physical assaults, laughing it off as if nothing ate at him.  But now was an exception.  Now his lips thinned and the twilight twinkle in his eyes became silver dagger blades.  Somehow, though I feared his change, it riled me further.  "And smeared lip gloss is certainly a flaw, is it not?  So I would recommend you don't proceed with your actions, you ass-h - "

Before I could speak any further, his mouth cruelly came down to claim mine, and I shrieked in surprise.  The contact was surely not meant to be pleasurable or affectionate, but a painful punishment for my unrighteous insult to his intelligence.  I knew I had spoken maliciously.  I had implied that he was a superficial libertine and that he couldn't stand any flaws in a woman.  I had no right to say that to his face, particularly since I didn't know it if was entirely true.  But at the same time, he had no right to personally intrude upon my psychological state, especially by trying to trap me into a kiss.  So with this, I justified my misbehavior, and I fought back.

I wriggled madly, but I could not move against him, as his arms and hands were like iron manacles and chains trapping me to a brick wall.  Realizing I couldn't go anywhere, I intentionally lessoned my fight, deciding to change my tactics.  I traced my tongue across his lower lip, and I heard him exhale in lusty satisfaction.  He thought he had won, had he?  As soon as I realized I had caught him off guard, i bit down hard on the same lip, and when I heard him grunt in angry shock I was able to wriggle an arm free, and I smacked him as hard as I could across the face, fingernails scraping him.  The blow knocked his head to the side and he yelled savagely, but I was able to free myself for long enough to open my door and get out of the car.  I was breathing heavily, and so angry that an incarnadine haze blended in with my vision.

He swung out just as fast as I had, and we stood looking at each other from opposite ends of the car, both breathing fire, both wilde-eyed, and both in the wrong.  He ran the back of his hand against his lips, and when he saw the blood smeared across it he looked up at me and huffed disdainfully.  "You outrageous hellion" he whispered with vehemence, and then he turned his back to me and ran his fingers through his hair.  He stood like that for a while, gathering his wits, as I stood in a puddle of my dripping shame, boring holes into the pavement with my eyes.  I knew I would regret my actions when my anger lessoned.  Why hadn't I paid heed to that knowledge at the right time? 

I heard him turn around again to look at me, and I reluctantly forced myself to meet his gaze.  To my relief, his expression held an amused, pensive gleam, and his mouth a subtle grin.  I watched him slowly approach me, hands in his pockets, until he stood before me looking down upon my face.  He didn't speak, just raised his eyebrows and let the silence draw out before us, and I averted my faze, feeling like a child being condescended to for misbehaving.  Even when he placed his fingers beneath my chin and elevated it in attempts to earn my eye contact, I kept them downcast in a very subtle act of rebellion, but more obviously in an act of avoidance and shame.  He released me when he realized I wasn't going to look at him, but he didn't stop looking at me, and I felt like an ant caught beneath a magnifying glass reflecting sun's fire-light.  

"Your lip gloss is smeared" he said at last, very quietly, voice tinged with hilarity and irony. 

I suddenly realized it and was embarrassed out of my little no-eye-contact performance.  Immediately, I reached down into my purse to get out my compact.  He was certainly correct, I realized as I opened it up and looked at my reflection, the gloss was smeared around my lips concentrically, making it look like I'd just been very thoroughly kissed.  I gasped, and then I frantically tried to wipe the smeared gloss away with one of my fingers.  Then, very abruptly, I was staring at his green tuxedo vest, as he had snatched away my compact and I was left with no mirror.  I finally looked up at him, half-accusingly, half-exasperatedly, and then noticed that he also had lip gloss smeared around his own mouth.

"I like it tha' way" he said pointedly as he snapped the compact shut and held it out of my reach.

Oh No, I thought to myself, he is not getting away with this.  He was turning my comment around so that it would become my own worst enemy.  I had claimed he didn't like flawed women, and thus to prove me wrong, he was purposefully making me flawed.  But he also was going to make me a laughing stock, because when people saw that I had lip gloss smeared all around my mouth, and that he did also, they would be led to assume one thing - we had been hooking up.  They would think him quite the conquistador no doubt.  And that was not acceptable to me.  Especially since I didn't even like him in that way.  I liked Kane.  Oh no, I thought to myself again, what is Kane going to think when he sees me like this?

"Give that back" I said in a low tone of warning, showing him that I wasn't afaid of getting angry again.  I had known iain for quite some time now, but I had never known him to be as exasperating as he was acting now.  I was sick and tired of his over-bold shenanigans, and on this eve I refused to tolerate any more of it.  My eyes shot imaginary knives into his once-again-laughing silver ones.  

"Och, I will" he said happily, lifting the compact still higher, "but only if ye follow me inside."  A lazy grin appeared on his face as he bribed me.  He knew exactly what he was doing.  

I rolled my eyes, and gave thought to punching him in the ballochs so that perhaps he would double over and bring my compact with close enough reach to grab hold of it.  When I realized he would probably do something worse to me as return punishment, I decided going along with his original plans would be the best option.  

"Fine" I said, not happily, "But you have to promise."

He smiled, cryptically, "I promise."

I narrowed my eyes at him. 

He put the compact in his trouser pocket, and then held out his hand to me.  I looked at it as if it were a snake, and then walked forward on my own, having absolutely no idea where I was going, with my chin tipped up into the air in very obvious defiance.  I heard his laughter sound from behind me.  

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