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Reasons Why I Hate The Internet

Authors Comments: I do not in any way pretend any of this is original, I know a lot of this will have been said before......just not by me.

Personal

Created on 11-17-08

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Story Rating PG13

Reasons why I hate the internet

I doubt these are original, I just needed to get things off my chest!!!

I hate the way users refer to websites as if they are actual places. For example in any social networking site you’ll find a forum thread which goes something along the lines of :

“IM LEAVING! Since I’ve got my exams coming up I don’t wanna spend too much time here. I’m sure gonna miss this place…L Goodbye guys!”

Piss off.

It’s not your bloody home town is it? All it is is a bunch of code flying through the air, into your computer which translates that into thousands of colours which shine at your face. Neither are these people you’ve hooked up with your actual family and friends. While you’re there why not give some virtual goodbye hugs and kisses while you’re at it?

Which leads me to:

Who gives a monkeys whether you’re “leaving” or not? Are you that important that everyone needs to know? I’m pretty sure I don’t care. How arrogant and self righteous must you be to make and entire thread about you…..however what kicks me in the balls is that other people actually do care! The replies go: “Aww, I’ll miss you too. It’s been a pleasure talking to you. Good luck for the future and farewell!”

No you will not miss them you liar. Leave him/her alone to big themselves up. What makes them so important that they have to have to leave with a big fanfare with fireworks, balloons, speeches and tears at the corner of people’s eyes?

Continuing with the theme of forum posts:

There are SOOO many topics like

“Why does everybody hate emos?” Gee, that’s original. Firstly, not everybody hates emos, your imagining things. To be honest I think the world is quite accepting of them. They’re not exactly being shepherded together so they can be systematically killed off or being hunted down by packs of wolves. They don’t bother me so I don’t bother them.

Secondly, I think the answer to the question is fairly obvious. You might say “Just because we’re different!” Well yeeesss I think that is the reason why people hate emos.

Clichéd internet quotes:

“Phew rant over! J” Well thank God you said that

“lol…random” Actually, it took 15 years and my entire family fortune to do that

“[Every text talk abbreviation]” no reason needed

“Well, everybody’s entitled to an opinion” That’s the nice way of saying ‘I think your wrong’

“Just because my opinion is different to yours doesn’t mean I’m wrong” That defeats the point of a reasonable debate! If I’m going to argue something, my opinion is RIGHT!

“Girls are just as good at football as boys” No they’re not. I’m not being sexist because this is actual fact. Just watch them play and you will see.

To be continued…

The idea of HATERS. Ok, everybody hates something. So leave us alone! I’m perfectly entitled to hate something am I not? Then why do I see these messages underneath video titles like “Note to haters: I don’t care if you don’t like this so you might as well not try to talk shit about it” well you obviously do care otherwise you wouldn’t have said that. But why do we have to be labelled and put into a category? Bundled into one group called The Haters. Oh my God, I don’t think I can stand it much longer, I’m not individual anymore!! I HATE THINGS!!! I also find it amusing when they tell me

“If you don’t like it, don’t watch it!” IF I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE SHITE I WOULDN’T HAVE CLICKED ON IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!

Again the favourite lines are always:

“Ignore him, he’s just jealous” Not everyone who hates things is jealous, I wouldn’t be jealous of someone who made a hideously boring and unoriginal vlog which no one actually gives two shits about. Neither am I jealous of Miley Cyrus (whom is the subject of abuse from many YouTube users, can’t sing and is Disney Channelified), Lindsay Lohan (Whom I’m pretty sure everyone in the world hates just for being famous), Britney Spears (why the hell would anybody be jealous of her?) and Vanessa Anne Hudgens (well I added her for my sister’s sake: “Zac Efron deserves better!” and also because she’s too ridiculously good looking to have any personality).

“If you think you’re so great, you try doing it!” In that case only professional singers can vote on X Factor, footballers can give their opinion on football and directors and actors can make film reviews. Unrealistic or what?

More clichéd quotes:

“I don’t care if you don’t like me” this just makes me think what on Earth could be so bad about you then? And again, you obviously do care. For the record I don’t care that you don’t care if I don’t like you.

“[insert anything] Nazis” Just because I like people to spell things correctly makes me a Nazi does it? Don’t be so rude (and also historically inaccurate I may add).

To be continued…

The idea of FAKES. I’ve never understood this. I guess it is when people act out of their usual personalities when on the internet for example acting like a gangsta even though you’re like me and just a sad little teen in his bedroom writing about things that you hate. Anyway, I don’ think its worth getting too het up about it and berating fakers is overused to a degree that I want to kill myself.

And now for something completely different:

Well sort of and this will not apply to everyone. Windows Internet Explorer. How can I knock the most used browser ever? Well, firstly it crashes every 5^th time I use it and the irritating “Program is not responding” window appears. I click “End now” which does nothing like it says on the tin. The page will go white for a while and after about 90 seconds it finally closes. Slows my computer down too, its only a year old.

Adverts with sounds. I hate the ones which you innocently roll over and then a really loud sound erupts from the speakers like “HELLOOO???”. No, I don’t want my own emoticons and thanks for scaring the shit out of me.

Blogs and vlogs. Do these people actually realise that no-one gives a damn? Video blogs are often taken at the end of the day when they’ve had time to think about the events over the past few hours. Video diaries they like to call them. Firstly, the cameras always too fucking close! Do they want more emotional connection or what? In any case this makes me feel uncomfortable, their voice vibrates the speakers and I can see right down their nostrils. Also, they use the same old story “Its really late, its been a really long day, been bit of an emotional rollercoaster”. Jeez you know I’m a sucker for overused metaphors. And finally, no one cares! I see an “I’ve been in love but now I realise that it hurts too much” blog every other day and its beginning to grate on me. Do you realise that just about everyone in the world has felt like this at some point? Do you feel you are unique in some way? I bet some people go “Wow, yeah…she/he’s right!”. These are obviously the same people who reply to these blogs. “I know exactly how you feel, you don’t know how many times I’ve been in that situation. The important thing to realise is that all men are dicks and there's nothing more to it”.

Ah, I thought I was missing something.

More, more clichéd quotes:

“I’m bi, get over it” do you have to display it like a fucking status symbol?

“heyy, nice ass…msn?? Xx” that is the best chat up line I’ve ever read

“Music: anyfin really lol” there is no possible way you could like every genre of music so stop being so Goddamn lazy.

Any old knob can use the internet and make their own website. That means the can write whatever they like and people will think it’s true. The only safe thing to do is assume everything is bullshit.

It is quite easy to insult someone over the internet. However if you actually going to meet these people it would be a different story, you’d naturally be more polite. I offer my opinion on whos the better player Ronaldo or Ibrahimovic? I say Ronaldo and some dude says something like “Just cuz ur a man u faggot u dick faced cunt”. Cheers for that matey, I think the response would be different if I was sitting right next to your 13 year old ass! “Go play with your toys child!” I would say but I’m not that mean. And I don’t support Man U.

The way text talk is slowly overcoming the English language. For example, I saw someone type “gurd” instead of “good”. Now both these words have the same number of letters so it’s not even an abbreviation! If you’re going to write it you may as well write it properly. And it doesn’t even sound like “good”.

The boring msn conversation. We are all obliged when speaking to someone over the net to conduct the conversation like this:

BARRY B: hey

xx…crystal…xx: heya

BARRY B: hows u?

xx…crystal…xx: gd ta u?

BARRY B: gd gd

BARRY B: not bad thx

xx…crystal…xx: wuu2?

BARRY B: nothin

xx…crystal…xx: kl

BARRY B: wbu?

xx…crystal…xx: same lol

BARRY B: kk lol

xx…crystal…xx: …bored

BARRY B: same lol

Et cetera, et cetera

No doubt you’ve all had six trillion of these conversations. I think it all comes down to the unrealistic nature of them. Sitting at your computer has to be the most boring part of your day to everyone else, so why do we choose that time to ask wuu2? It’s the same answer every time, either “msn”, “bebo/myspace”, “listenin to music” or “nothing”. What interesting lives we lead. No wonder a lot of people use msn to simply relieve themselves of sexual tension! I imagine it’s the only interesting thing to talk about. This is a comparison to real life where it is acceptable to shut the fuck up for a minute and appreciate each others presence. It is also acceptable to randomly think of questions or statements to say whilst being together but in an msn conversation you’d look like a twonk. This proves that face-to-face conversations are often better for communication. However, I do believe it has the advantage of having more time to think about what you want to say (and its easier to lie).

e.g.

BARRY B: hello?

xx..crystal..xx: oh sory! Forgot to say back lol

BARRY B: np lol

And you can imagine where the conversation will go from there….actually you can’t.

Chain letters!!!!!!! These consist of either some bullshit emo story about someone dying because of bullying or committing suicide because they were raped or a love story or a quiz thing. These all have a message at the bottom saying “pass this on to 19 people or the corpse of carrie will come to haunt you” or “pass this on to 19 people and press F4, the name of your crush will appear on the screen if you don’t do this you will have relationship problems for the next 9 years”. And people actually believe these??? Give me strength. I’ll take my chances thanks. I don’t understand why anybody would want to have their crushes’ name on the screen anyway.

I should have:

Kissed my crush at midnight 28 times

Had my crushes name on the screen 39 times

211 years of bad luck

78 years of relationship problems

Been haunted by 18 ghosts

Had 23 wishes come true

But no, none of these have come to fruition.

They say debating on the internet is a waste of time. I’m going to have to agree with that one. There are a few types of debate I tend to get into just for the hell of it. Firstly you have the Debate….Debate. This is when the argument has got so out of hand that the participants are no longer arguing about the topic but just having a go at each other’s debating skills. “Labelling me as idiotic because I take genre’s seriously is idiotic on your part, my friend.”

The gang is when the person who doesn’t like the item in question, lets say a Britney spears video, is hopelessly outnumbered and no amount of intelligent reasoning will help them stand up, no matter how stupid his/her opponents are (not to berate Britney Spears fans of course).

The funny loser is highly annoying for one party (usually me) and highly gratifying for someone else. Lets say I, have won an argument (yes, it happens), the loser then responds with something random or packed full of American Pie humour. Then onlookers find them funny. “After you stop giving me a rise you sexy slut!”. Now it APPEARS that he is the one who has won the argument. ARGHH

Now I doubt the above will relate to anyone else but me because that kind of stuff does make my nuts tighten.

Comments

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On December 24th 2008 KIRKME Said :

	wow.,......,,,,,,,,,..............

On December 9th 2008 TheWiraffe Said :

	i hate text talk. i dont understand half of what people r saying!

On December 9th 2008 TheWiraffe Said :

	just for the record i have a friend who kicked the quarter back off the boys foot ball team so the coach could have her instead.

On November 26th 2008 donepretending Said :

	lol...yea, this is too true, might make the people who do these things to spontaneously combust...

On November 18th 2008 bittyb1 Said :

	haha. this was GOOD! I agree with alot of what you said. Like the Texting laguage. I HATE when people don't just write out the right words.

On November 17th 2008 TheWiraffe Said :

	dude i totally agree! the internet sucks. and yet im still on it... it mainly just gives everybody something to do.

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