The new bottle of Jack Daniels was sitting on the cold, gray granite countertop. I anxiously opened the bottle and poured some into a clear glass filled with Coca-Cola. I mixed it up and proudly brought the drink to my Uncle Ernie, who was visiting my mom. My mom's best friend, Janice, was also over and they were talking on the little back porch that had a cloud of cigarette smoke lingering above like a bad storm. I, besides being a twelve year-old bartender, was watching cartoons on the black leather sofa with my younger brother.
As much as I was confined to the television set, I wanted to be on the porch with my mom. However, the sliding glass doors seemed to become a forbidden gate that led to adulthood, and a deep sleep had taken over my brother as if a spell had been placed upon him. I grew anxious with time as I knew they would not be talking all night on the porch, and I would soon be sent to bed. Soon, the adults had left the patio. My mom locked the sliding glass door as to secure the gateway to adulthood that I was denied at the time. My Uncle Ernie and Janice then said their good-byes, and the front door made a little click as they were careful not to slam it.
A sudden eerie quietness seemed to take over the house, as my mom shut the television off. My mom called me to go to her. She seemed exhausted, as if she had been slaving for a grueling twelve hour day at work. However, she told me to give her a hug, which it seemed she needed to restore her energy a little bit. I walked over to her and I hugged her. After a few seconds, I went to let go, but she held me there. She then began speaking and said, "Always remember that me, you and your brother, are all we have, and we need to always take care of one another." She then sent me to my room to go to sleep.
In my room, I sat on my soft yet messy bed, and I thought about the words she had told me. She had spoken the words as if she were an oracle, revealing the truth about the unknown future. However, I heard those words many times, since my brother and I fought like two wild men. Therefore, I thought nothing much of the words she spoke to me. I was unable to sleep, presumably due to my caffeine intake for the evening I decided to read this book I had on calligraphy until I felt sleepy.
A few very silent moments had passed, when suddenly a loud, piercing bang penetrated my ears. I figured it was the neighbors, since I heard them fighting like animals all the time anyway. Nonetheless, in search of comfort, I immediately decided to see if my mom had heard the strange noise. As I walked up to my mom's room, it felt as if some dark, unknown force were pulling me closer and closer to the halfway open door. At first, I saw her lying on the side of her bed like she was just resting. Then I smelled the distinct scent of gun powder as it pierced my nostrils and seemed to fog my mind. Finally, I saw a pool of blood in the crevices of my mom's bed. These three occurrences happened consecutively within the course of a split second, each one hitting me like a punch in the face. My mom had taken her own life, by shooting herself in the head.
I stood there gazing at my mom's lifeless body until I snapped out of the state of shock that taken over my own body. I shook my head as if to wake up from a bad dream, yet the dream-state vibes persistently pounded my body like a thousand needles, causing me to hyperventilate. Upon returning to reality, I heard my Uncle Peter's voice on the phone that was dangling from the receiver on the table. He was frantically calling her name with the highest hopes that she would answer. I picked up the phone and I told him hysterically, "She's dead! I have to call 9-1-1!" With my heart pounding a rapid beat, I hung up with him and proceeded to dial 9-1-1. Due to the immense shaking of my hands, my fingers dialed the wrong number. I abruptly hung up the phone and then picked it up to dial again. I eventually made contact with the emergency operator. I was hysterical on the phone, and she tried to calm me down with her soothing words.
Then, the emergency operator asked me to check for a pulse. I fearfully took my mom's wrist and I tried to feel a pulse; however, I was unsuccessful. Her hand felt so cold and clammy; the hand that only moments before was hugging me and radiating warmth, was now laying there lifeless. It was also at this point that I noticed the gun on the floor. I was so angry at the gun for existing, for this to have been possible. The operator kept assuring me that help was coming, yet it felt like an eternity before anyone came. In the meantime, I stared into the blank look of my mom's bloodshot eyes that showed no sign of life. My Uncle Peter and Uncle Rob were the first to arrive, and they took me and my brother, who they had just woken up, and put us in their car.
I had put a soft blanket around me; although it was quite hot and discomforting, I made no effort to remove it. I sat in the car with a tremendous amount of thoughts running through my head. I couldn't focus on anything, and there was a blank look in my eyes as I stared into the seat in front of me. The emergency rescue arrived soon after my uncles, and of one of them asked me what happened. However, I was unable to talk and it seemed like I didn't even understand his words. He left when he was through with his questions, and I was left to once again mindlessly stare at the seat in front of me.
To this very day, I still have many thoughts going through my mind about what happened that night. It is a story that I will never forget, and these memories will always remain with me. This experience has also greatly influenced who I have become today, which I feel is a much stronger person. I have also learned to value life and everything in it because you never know when someone or something won't be there anymore. I also discovered that I took things for granted, but this experience has changed me that I always try to keep in mind that I'm lucky for what I have in the present.
Adam Catronio
I wrote this when I was 20 years old as a freshman in college for english class.
Creative
Created on 12-14-06
Views(19962)
Story Rating G
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