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+ 15	All You Need Is Love
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+ 9	my ridiculous experience at the 2006 mid-term election polls

my ridiculous experience at the 2006 mid-term election polls

Created on 12-14-06

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I want to say that I'm truly proud to be a United States citizen under the Democratic Party, I always have been; even when political times gave off a scent of dark, gloomyness, which was approximately oh Inauguration Day in January 2001 up until oh let's say about two days ago (Election Day, Nov 7. 2006) when the Democratic party, for lack of better words, kicked some ASS in the polls and in doing so, assuming control of both houses of Congress!!!! This thought really delights me in retrospect of the ridiculousness I had to deal with at my voting precint, a little story I'm going to now share with you. Shakira is blasting inside my swift, blue skittle as it tears ferociously down the soggy streets of Lyons Road towards the quaint, peach colored fire house known as Fire Station #57. The sun shone through once more to bid farewell on the day in the background of dreary, grey clouds surrendering to the evening. The second parking space that I encountered seemed to carry the most appeal, "There aren't very many people here" I thought in glee as I curiously examined my humble surroundings. Now I'm not attention hog, but I couldn't help it when I my arm got stuck and it started to flail desperately searching the armsleeve of the sweater I had to brought to wear, coming out of the parking lot and up the building's wall with a myriad of important election bulletins and notices. "This would have been the long ass line I'd be waiting in if I had gotten up early to get here and vote," was of course my primary reaction and I had a little smirk on my face as I approached the election greeter. (Yea, election greeter, he wasn't doing anything at all, the bitch didn't even greet me) It was at this point that I realized "oh shit, now I'm going to have to deal with some elderly, chemically inbalanced skitsofrentic to sign in" I turned my unknowing head at that moment, and there they were... all of them. So I pass the election greeter who looked like an alien, and found myself to the happy little table with my last name initial on it. She was a tiny woman, white hair like a giant cotton ball and these huge glasses went stunning with her old person attire. (When I say "old person attire" I mean those kinda clothes that you see old people wear and you wonder for days at where these clothes come from because you swear in your lifetime you haven't ever seen something so ugly in your life before.) Once I kindly directed the deer sweet lady to the correct last name list, she was really on the ball... I really have to give it to her. In fact, she only passed my name three times before I started wondering what was taking so long and maybe I just have a knack for this kinda thing, but I saw my name right away and quite promptly pointed it out to her. She grabs a pen and here's the big moment, I'm thinking "I'll be home soon and I think I'll have some chocolates as I listen to the dying pitter patter outside" "INACTIVE STATUS" is what this kind lady says to me. I was like "WTF?", she then told me I had to take my ID and voter card to the furthest table and to inform them I have been sent due to an "inactive status." Little did I know, that I would soon find myself faced with dumb and dumber. All started ok, I patiently informed the man of my inactive status and I hear a hearty "uh-oh." I'm a pretty patient guy, I waited for this guy to look up my status on his computer and the results are as: 1) He is in the right place to vote 2) He can vote. This is what I'm told, so naturally I'm like thinking "well, wtf am I talking with you guys for?" (I'm usually not much of a curser people, I'm just feeling fiesty tonight.) So this gentlemen who so diligently has helped me, refers me to another gentlemen. I am told however, that I will be required to fill out a yellow form. So this other gentlemen I'm referred to instructs me to wait a moment while he finishes helping the voters he was already with. This was frustrating because there was on pad of yellow forms, the voters being helped were filling out the same form and instead of ripping off one to share with others they wrote on the one tab of forms. So those voters go to vote and he asks me "What's wrong with you?", "Fuck you asshole!" is what I immediately thought and after having chuckled to myself for a quick moment the words, "I don't know" seem to have sprawled from my mouth. The gentlemen on the computer jumped in at that time and stated for me that I 'm inactive status. So now the gentlemen who was helping voters with the form turns around and starts harrasing this one old lady who simply innocently tending to her sign in book, he started asking her why there were so many inactive status people for no reason. He then made a hand motion towards me after stating "this is the fifth one today." Now this man comes weasling himself back over towards me and *are you ready for this??* and he asks me "Do you really want to vote?" *let that sink in for a sec, cuz thats fucked up* After I felt the vibes of those awkward moments rush past my face, I immediately said "yes." So he turns around and looks busy again, he goes to finish that last form for the voters before me, and while I'm waiting I notice him writing my information on the previous voters form, and I could really feel this guy like having a really bad moment, ya know? So I walked over to the table and asked the first computer guy "Is this going to be a hassle for you?" And both of them answered right away saying "NO NO NO". So we finish up the form together, he asks me what my party affiliation is, and I told him I'm a democrat. Well, the computer guy starts shaking his head at me in disapproval but not making eye contact. I wanted to slap the bitch for real! I was then instructed back to the kind, sweet lady who handled last name letter "C', she was looking on edge, I did notice her with five voters on her line prior to my return. So I had the form and my ID to her, when the weasel returns and tells her to stop and takes everything. There was a moment of awkwardness between the old lady and I, until I was told to sign one more thing on the yellow form and also this other form. I finished the yellow one first and placed it underneathe the other, so it wouldn't blow away in the wind, and when I began to write again, this guy says "I need the yellow copy." "What you need is to shut the fuck up for two seconds and let me finish this!!" I thought, but instead "Here you go sir!" I had to chase him down to give him back the second paper which I believe he was negligant of, a sheet with people's addresses and home phone numbers. So I vote, I'm feeling good. I'm glad this trip is over. One more obstacle, getting that kewl "i voted" sticker! This woman left like a few feet in front of me, so she asked this guy on the way out where to drop the voting card. And this exit greeter, just kept handing her a sticker, so she takes the sticker right but gets a nervous in her voice and says "Where do I put this voter's card?". He then took the voter's card from her... and "yes!! there's my sticker!!" I knew the guy would take my voter's card after I got my sticker so I played his game even though I questioned the top priorities of this election team. But as sure as a duck will jump to bread, he took my voter's card and it was all over!

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On August 3rd 2007 DeathMetalPunk Said :

	This is the best thing i've read in forever.

On May 5th 2007 Ma24179 Said :

	I would have left forreal!

On December 22nd 2006 inevitable82 Said :

	i know right lol, thank you for understanding me =)

On December 22nd 2006 marisaandalex Said :

	Are you sure you want to vote, What the hell kind of derelict people does the state having working for them....jeeesus!

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